Needing You - Sequel to Wanting You

Chapter Thirty Nine

Things should have been easy when it came to living with my best friends and husband, but it wasn't.

Blake and Brooke didn't even talk to each other, well not that I noticed anyway.

He wouldn't speak to her and I didn't know if it was the fact that he had been grumpy for the past few weeks since I wasn't getting pregnant.

Two periods came and went and Blake was pulling away, or that's what it felt like to me. Well actually he hadn't pulled away but the sex just felt forced. Like it was something that had to be done to make a baby happen.

I had even brought those ovulation tests, googled ways to fall pregnant faster, checked my ovulating dates online, stopped drinking and even started eating healthier. I was doing it all and sure I knew two periods were nothing but when Blake had been saying it should happen already that's when the doubts kicked in that I couldn't give him another baby.

My body was just too worn out and fucked.

Brooke and I was getting along fine but she was acting slightly off, not being around when Blake and I was in the same room and never looking me in the eye, I didn't know what I had done to upset her. If Blake and I was cuddling or kissing she'd tell us we were sick and to do it somewhere where other people weren't around. He had told her in polite words to fuck off out of his house if she didn't like it.

We visited his parents, and his mum cried when we dropped the wedding dvd off for her to watch, she thought it was the most romantic thing ever, being married at sunset on a beach. Scott still didn't speak to Blake, he had managed to avoid him each time we went to visit them.

My parents on the other hand, well I talked to them over the phone but that was it, I had been able to avoid in person up until today. I finally agreed to go to dinner with Blake and his parents over at my parents.

I wasn't angry any more at my dad, but I still didn't forgive him. A part of me never could.

“you ready babe?” I looked over at Blake who was laying down on the bed staring at me.

“think so, we should get it over with” I sighed pulling my boots on as I sat on the edge of the bed.

His arms wrapped around me tightly from behind “I'm sorry”

“for what?”

“everything, I've pulled away and it's only because I blame myself, I got you pregnant when you was on the pill and now I cant, I feel fucking useless for shooting blanks”

“It might just take us awhile, doesn't mean we should stop having fun” I suggested as he flipped me down onto the bed "I love you" I smiled up at him.

“I love you much more lex” he brought his mouth down to mine skimming his lips gently over mine, I pushed him up taking his face in my hands “Blake, I have been thinking and I don't know”

“you don't want to try any more?” he pulled back looking defeated and heartbroken.

“it's not that, I want to but can we just not talk about it and maybe it'll happen if we stop trying so hard?” I suggested.

He nodded looking a little confused “so we're trying but we're not but really we are?”

“exactly” I laughed.

He smiled and laughed “deal sweetheart, let's get this over with so I can make love to my wifey all night long”

“sounds perfect hubby” I lifted my head and pecked his lips.

Blake drove us to my parents, I had asked Brooke to come but she said she felt sick and just wanted to sleep, what was weird was she pulled me into a big hug for ages, she hadn't been like that for weeks and now she was.