On That Day We | sakook

chapter 20.

Sana's POV

　
　
My aunt and Sunoo always treated me so nicely. But they weren't always here.

Sunoo attended the same college where, he once told me, I pursued a business degree. School keeps him incredibly busy, especially since he has a scholarship that helps cover his tuition. To make ends meet, he also works part-time at a coffee shop.

My aunt sometimes asked me to join her when making deliveries. But I usually said no. Seeing so many different people still make me feel uneasy.

Days went by quickly. I couldn't quite figure out what I actually felt while staying here in Busan.

There was still this heavy feeling, like dark clouds hovering above me, as each day passed.

Maybe it was due to the fact that I found out there's a chance I may never fully recover my memories when we went to the doctor.

While some parts of my memory might come back over time, others might be lost forever.

What's even worse is the possibility that my brain could fabricate false memories to fill the gaps left by the ones I've lost. It's like I can't trust my own mind.

The panic attacks might become more frequent. Those haunting images of the car accident — they could be true, but how would I know what's real and what's not?

It had been years, and I had accepted the fact that I might never get my memories back. But being reunited with a family I never knew existed gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe I could go back to my old life.

Maybe I could find happiness again.

Maybe I could be myself once more.

But who was that person? Who am I?

My parents were gone. Wonsik was gone.

And now, these kind people who took me in had established their own lives here. When I left them behind five years ago, they had managed to move forward without me. Now that I'm back, I couldn't just simply waltz in and feel like I truly belonged in this place I once called home.

I felt like a puzzle piece that didn't quite fit anymore.

I'm completely alone.

All alone in this unfamiliar town, in who knows where.

I don't know anyone.

Maybe I shouldn't have left Seoul.

Maybe I should've just ended everything to put a stop to this never-ending confusion and sadness that's eating me whole.

I have no one else.

It felt like I was trapped at the bottom of a well, dark and suffocatingly deep.

No matter how hard I clawed at the damp, cold walls, there was no escape.

I could scream until my throat was raw, cry until there were no more tears, but the only answer would be the echoes of my own cries.

No one would hear.

No one could reach me.

So I found myself packing my worn backpack. Each item I tossed in felt like a tiny piece of myself, a tiny piece of a life I couldn't remember. With a heavy heart, I zipped it shut and made my way out.

Taking one last glance back at the house, I felt a tear run down my face.

With a trembling breath, I turned and walked away.

I wished I could stay, but deep down, I know this isn't the place where I belong.

It was where I belonged.

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a/n: whew, this was a really depressing (but short) chapter. i literally cried while writing it.

BUT happy 1k reads!

aaaaaa i'm so happy right now. thank you so much for supporting this story! especially for all the votes and comments, thank you! they really motivate me to keep writing this story.

i hope y'all stay with me til the end of this book. <3