frenemies - tom kaulitz ✮

Part 23 - sick

under the same name - whirr

===== CHAP 23 // sick

New York
{Final concert location}
2:21 pm

"Billyyy!"

"Heyy y/n! How are you?"

"Doing okay, thanks."

I take a bag off of him, and we walk through the airport.

"Are you excited for tonight?"

I nod, responding loudly over the chatter as it echoes throughout the entire building.

-

I turn the car on, scrambling to turn the volume down as it had been excruciatingly loud on the drive here. We both sigh in relief at the comfort being seated rather than walking through the airport for almost an hour.

I light a smoke, asking Bill if he minds - getting a swift shake of the head.

"Hey y/n.."

I put my seatbelt on, now looking at him confused,

"Yeah?"

His gaze lowers, and I stop what I'm doing completely to see what he's going to say.

"Bill? What's wrong with you?"

He sighs, moving his hands around frantically.

"Hellooo! What is it?"

"How mad would you be.."

He stops, now making eye contact with me, looking as if he's about to cry.

"What the fuck? Are you doing okay man?"

"Can I finish? Jesus."

"My bad"

He fake chuckles, "how mad would you be if Tom showed up?"

His question catches me off guard, leaving me to think,

"Where?"

"Here tonight."

"Oh, I don't really know."

He makes a confused face, now toying with his fingers.

"Well, I haven't really thought of him much over this past like- half a year? Only after our fight."

He nods, "you miss him?"

I roll my eyes, "don't ask me that, you know what the answer is, Bill."

"You're right, sorry."

I smile widely at him, "no need to apologise, babe! Let's have some fun before tonight."

He nods, giving a whoop.

4:49 pm

"Okay! Be honest, how much have you missed your boo Val?" I question the black haired boy in front of me, taking a sip of my drink.

He groans, "like - way too much. I'm gonna go surprise her during the concert."

I agree with him, "I miss him, Bill - even if I try to convince myself I don't."

"He misses you, too."

"Seriously?" giving the most exaggerated shocked face, "All I see is shit about him going through a new girl every week."

Bill looks down guiltily, "he did the same thing after Mei, his ex if you remember? He just goes through those girls to try and ignore how shitty he feels."

"Surely his dick gets tired, Bill."

He stifles a laugh, but keeps himself quiet, "actually, to be honest, he hasn't really touched any of the girls i've seen him with - he just kinda has them over and realises they aren't really interested in anything other than fucking him, and he kicks them out."

"What a sad way to live," I conclude.

The sound of my hotel rooms' phone causes a jump out of the both of us, and I reach behind me to answer.

"Bit loud," Bill whispers.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Miss Listing, we have a few guests here to see you, by the names of Valentina, Alyvia, Javon, and Heidi"

"Oh! Okay send them through, thanks."

I slam the phone down, all giddy and excited, "they're coming!"

Bill giggles, giving me a huge hug and kiss on the cheek, "okay, I'll see you tonight!"

I hear the door slam and I sit down, sighing a bit and taking my hair out of the hair tie it had been in all day.

Naturally, as I finally get comfy, there's a loud knock at the door. My feet drag along as I go to open it, dreading the upcoming performance tonight.

As I'm about to open it, there's another loud knock and I fumble with the lock, not really bothering to do it properly.

I swing the door open, expecting loud voices and hugs, but -

"Tom?"

He doesn't speak, just looking at me solemnly with a bag dangling from his hands. His hair is in a white beanie, and he's wearing pretty much all black.

"Look - y/n,"

I shush him, and collapse onto him, holding him tightly.

"Fuck me Ive missed you," I sigh into his body, and I can feel him release all the built up tension and him melt into the hug as he surpasses the hesitation after a few seconds.

We silently hug each other for a few minutes, then I finally pull back and look at his face.

"I had a whole speech prepared  - I didn't expect this at all."

"Oh i'm pissed, but let's get inside before the others make their way up."

He walks in after me, "they knew I was coming, they went to another room."

"They knew? Cunts."

He laughs, standing as I open the balcony doors, waving him over and lighting a smoke - Standing inside to stop the outside wind from blowing it out.

Tom quickly joins me and sits on the opposite chair to where I am, and I eventually make my way to my seat.

He stares at the traffic below us, and all I can bring myself to do is stare at him.

He notices me looking at him, and I take the chance to offer him a smoke - which he gladly accepts.

He goes to light it, putting it in his mouth and going for the lighter.

"Y/n," he starts, holding the unlit cigarette down by his lap, "I know you're mad at me, and I would be too. There's nothing I can say but sorry."

"I just want to know why, Tom."

"I wanted to tell you, but it sounds really dumb when I say it out loud," he laughs.

I look at him sideways, waiting for him to continue.

"I actually kinda liked our bickering thing we had, and when I realised that I loved you, I was just so scared of messing up and losing you, or ruining what we had."

I hold back a joke I want to make, and I take a big inhale of smoke.

"I just loved you more than I knew I could ever love someone. I got scared and couldn't bring myself to risk hurting you."

"Really?"

He nods, "I loved - love you so much that it physically hurts being away from you," he sighs, "it's a pain I just can't handle anymore."