frenemies - tom kaulitz ✮

10 - oh man

==== CHAP 10

heavenly - cigarettes after sex
vampire empire - big thief 

(yes it's gonna be sad)

——

7:18pm

Leaning back into my chair, I feel the cool leather touch parts of my exposed skin. Tiredly, I let my pounding head fall onto the wall behind me, causing a small thud. I leave my eyes open, taking in my surroundings but letting myself think of other things.

Everyone but Tom had left to get food, leaving us to sit in awkward silence. I'm still mad at him, but I feel like I'm not really allowed to be. We aren't dating, and I had known about his history with girls anyway. I'm sure every girl he's made feel this way had also lead to exactly what i'm thinking right now.

But fuck, you'd think he'd try to be serious for once?

Sighing, I try thinking of other things I get to do as soon as I'm home, watch a silent voice maybe, or even just sleep all day.

shit, he's staying with us.

My eyes wander to Tom next to me, yet to my shock he's already standing up, slowly moving seats next to me.

Looking back at my hand, I anxiously play with my fingernails, chipping the paint away vigorously.

I see Tom in the corner of my eye, staring holes into the side of my head.
Getting annoyed, I speak up,
"What is it, Tom?"

His eyes flash something like shock, then shifting back to a look of concern and confusion,

"don't say my name like that, y/n," he sighs,

"can you please tell me why you're so upset?"

"I'd rather not," I reply, continuing to chip away at my fingernails.

Tom then appears in front of me, kneeling to be just below eye-height.

"Please, y/n, you mean so much to me."

My heart melts at that sentence, giving a small pang in my chest.

"Tom, you know exactly what you did."

He stares back at me painfully, as if trying to figure out what to say when my phone rings, making the both of us focus on the noise coming from my pocket.

Groaning, I search my jacket pockets to answer, leaving it on speaker.

"Y/n Listing, is that you?" I hear a kind lady say on the other line.

"Yes, this is her, who is this?"

"I'm so sorry to inform you...."

what?

Everything goes blurry, leaving my mind racing with thoughts. In shock, I stand, letting my phone fall onto the floor beneath me. I don't think twice before silently walking out the front door, letting it slam shut behind me.

I'm hit with the freezing cold air, and my clothes that are seemingly fighting to keep me warm are failing, making me shrivel up and hold my arms close.

I try to ignore my thoughts, my hands shakily grabbing the pack of cigarettes out of my pocket. Fumbling with the box, I pull one out and light it, struggling to keep it alight under the strong winds.

Furrowing my brows; I think of what was just said to me, the weird ladies voice echoing through my head;

"i'm so sorry to inform you but your mother passed away 20 minutes ago.."

How am I even meant to feel? I literally hate her?

I pace around, trying to think, then slowly coming to a stop.

With my eyes shut, I feel a pair of arms wrap around me.

"I'm so sorry" he whispers repeatedly into my ear.

I can't help but feel myself start to tear up, feeling a horrible feeling of dread fill my body. Tom hugs me tighter as my sobs become more apparent, him softly taking the smoke out of my trembling hands and putting it out on the floor.

"Try and breathe, please y/n."

Focusing on my breathing seems to make it worse; giving me more time to think about it.

How am I even supposed to break the news to Georg? 

Desperately holding onto Tom, my mind goes to every argument, every time she had kicked me out, every time we had to help her through withdrawals or bad situations - through every single bad moment.

I should feel relieved, right?

Fighting with her felt like trying to save someone from drowning when you can't even swim yourself, even just being around her made me anxious.

Still, when we were really young, she wasn't as bad-and that's what makes it so hard; waiting around for her to go back to the loving mother she once was.

Taking the dreadheads scent in, I start to calm down slightly

Tom carefully guides us back into the studio, and into our recording room to have privacy, rubbing my back and whispering to me the entire time.

My chest feeling tight, I thank him and hold my head in my hands.

we sit in silence for a while before he speaks up,

"y/n," he says quietly, hesitating but going to hug me again.

I try to not cry, pulling back and now looking right into Toms eyes.

"I'm so sorry for what I did, y/n."

I just stare blankly at him, trying to ignore the feelings from today  coming up as well.

Now knowing he must've seen the messages, I sigh in relief, "I just don't know why you do it, Tom."

"I don't either, y/n. Im an idiot to even think of doing that to you."

"I thought you liked me," I say quietly, now feeling an overload of emotions taking over.

"What? Y/n, I literally think I-"

The door bursts open, causing both Tom and I to jump up in shock. before I can comprehend, Georg jumps at me and hugs me tight.

I can feel him shaking against me, seemingly hugging me to comfort himself over anything else.

45 minutes go by and we get told It's time to leave the studio. Georg and I are calmed down, now reduced to quietly talking about other things to keep our minds busy.

I give him a tight squeeze at the exit before we enter our cars, the both of us deciding not to go visit our mother. 
"Georg," I ask,
"Yes?"
"Where are the others?"
He sighs, "I didn't want to tell them, so I booked them a driver back home."
I nod silently.
"Try to fix things with Tom, yeah? I don't know what happened but Bill told me you're all he's talking about right now, and honestly I do approve it if he actually changes."

I smile and nod, thanking him.

With bloodshot eyes, I turn around to Tom, who also looks as if he's been crying.

"Tom.."
He just hugs me tight, taking me aback, but quickly giving in and hugging him close.

How am I supposed to stay mad at this?

"It's been a crazy day, y/n, let's just focus on getting home and resting," he says, kissing my forehead.

I hug him again,

"I'm still mad at you, but thank you."

..

".. and no more fucking random girls"

===