Outside your window (18+)

Chapter thirty eight

My body feels hot from the inside and out as the warm water runs down my skin, slithering down my curves and the steam in the shower only increases. Damien still hasn't called back, and Iván doesn't tell me anything I haven't already heard before. I feel like he's hiding something from me. I know he's not obligated to tell me anything, but I want to know whatever he can share about Damien. The last few days have only been filled with me worrying about a guy who won't answer my calls or text me back. It's like high-school all over again only this guy's reason for not answering can be because he's potentially been murdered by some other bad guys with pew-pew toys. The thought makes me shudder and so I shove it somewhere deep inside my brain.

There's an uncomfortable ache in my chest that won't go away. Even if I don't want to admit it I know it's because of him. He's made himself a small place in my heart. Even if it's a tiny one and barely there, it's affecting me. And I can't for the life of me understand how he even managed to make me feel something for him in the first place. It has to be some manipulation-voodoo-manifesting on his part. I turn off the shower and step out, wrapping a towel around myself before leaving the bathroom to go to my room.

The tv is playing from the living room and I ignore it, slipping onto my pajamas that's already waiting for me on my bed. Even though I know it's not there, I still inhale a sharp breath and wait for the weak scent of mint and citrus that never comes. My phone is by the nightstand, in it the twenty unanswered texts and calls I've sent Damien, but I don't spare it a glance and walk past it, hoping it'll sooth the pain in my chest if I chose to pretend it doesn't exist.

I squeeze the last few drops of water from my hair with the towel in my hands, walking out to the living room where Iván is sitting with his nose stuck in his phone, with the news playing on tv, muted. "Anything interesting?" I mumble, deciding to take a seat next to him and he nearly jumps, his eyes meeting mine in surprise.

"What? No, just...texting." He shrugs, pocketing his phone before leaning back on the couch, adjusting his hips. I smile a bit, shaking my head.

"I meant there." I dip my chin in the direction of the tv, watching as a news lady talks in the microphone, the subtitles writing about some climate crisis. Iván visibly tenses beside me and reaches for the remote.

"No. We should turn it off, bad news give bad energy." He mumbles under his breath, frowning down at the controller as he presses down on a few of the buttons with no avail to finding the right one.

"I didn't think you were so spiritual." My brow arches in amusement and he grumbles something in the lines of him having crystals at home that helps him stay away from crazy girls. But he's still frowning down at the remote and I reach out to snatch it away from him. "What are you trying to do?"

He glares at me, and I watch how his eyes keep flickering towards the tv. My eyes narrow and I press the unmute button, watching as sound flows out of the speaker built in the flatscreen.

"Now moving on, a fire mysteriously started in a warehouse north of..." I mute the tv again and glance to Iván whose eyes are wide and set on the screen, his body leaning forward. My brows furrow in confusion and I glance back to the screen, unmuting the tv again. "Potential suspects found at the crime scene claim that they not only committed arson, but also murder, and the victim was no one other than the leader of a known Russian mafia, the one they called d'yavol, Damien Romano." My hears stops. "Specialist are on their way to identify the body..." The rest of the words are tuned out by my brain, mixed into distant white noice as I try to process what just happened. The remote is pulled out of my hands, but I barely feel it. My body is numb.

You know when some people say they have an out of body experience. It's like time stops, and nothing around them matter anymore, everything becomes meaningless and breathing seems like too much of a task when you can feel how exhausting it really is. Yeah. That.