chapter forty-three.

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-Estella romano

I've been trying something new. I don't know why. Thats a lie. I know why. At first i think i liked the feeling of feeling empty , which would be considered me being mentally ill then yes. Lets be realistic. It wasn't because i wanted to lose a few pounds , i blocked out the thought that i started it because my sisters boyfriend has been toying with me. Its been three weeks since they became official. And every chance he gets he corners me in every aspect of the house making me feel scared in my own home. Last week he told me my hips were too wide. I took the hint . I don't know why i listened to him . But i did.

Its been three days since I've eaten and im tired more. My insomia has been a pain in the ass more than usual. Im tired. Not like exhausted. More like out of breath all the time. I read about it. I looked up all the shit that i was expecting to get. I've been preparing for the worse.

"When did you move from russia to the states?" My father slices through his piece of stake as he breaks my thoughts. I swirl my pees around on my plate as i mold into the background. I lift my eyes to my sister as she has a full on grin on her face while staring at her beloved boyfriend.

Damien takes bite of his mash potatoes as he swallows and his adam apples bobs up and down "my mother , brother and i immigrated here when my father died. I was about 14?"

"Oh honey , im so sorry to hear that. You're always welcome here. Okay?" My mothers stupid sympathetic voice rings out as i roll my eyes. He shrugs as he kisses my sisters forehead and i cringe at the display of affection "its okay , as long as i found ash . Im more than happy i could ever be"

Way to catch the audiences attention ivanov. Well played.

"Oh my god , honey remember when we started falling in love?" My mother pouts as she nudges my father .

My brother pushes out his chair "im leaving. If i stay here too long. My dinner will be out as soon as i digested it" his blue eyes glare down at damien as he says nothing and walks up the stairs.

My mother waves him off "Don't worry about him , he'll come around" my father nods along to her statement and i fight the urge to not follow him.

I stiffen as i feel the slight brush of his foot against my ankle. I clench the fork in my hand as bile rises up my throat. I lift my eyes slighty up to meet his as everyones chatter seems to fade away. He's not looking at me. But his foot rises way upper and i try to move as far away as i could from him. His foot reaches my calf and i snap. I push my chair . Everyones chatter stops as i hold my mouth "stel? You okay?" Ash's worried gaze meets mine and i nod "i just , im not feeling well. May i be excused?" I speak as i keep my eyes on her.

"You didn't even touch your food , is it that bad?" My mom snaps and i ignore her as i give my father a pleading look.

He nods as he turns to my mother "Sweetheart its okay. She's not feeling well. Let her be excused" i let out a sigh of relief.

"I have pills upstairs that could help? Do you want it? I could get it-

"No its okay. Im fine" i argue with damien. My panicking eyes averting his gaze.

"Stel dont be rude. Thats sweet of you baby. Ofcourse she'd love em" my sister scolds me as i glare at her she rubs his shoulder "you can follow him upstairs stel" my sister smiles . But before i can argue again. Damien is out of his seat as he marches to the stairs. I walk on shaking legs as i follow him up the stairs. Once were out of sight he smashes me against the wall out of their sight and a small whimper falls from my lips as my back burns.

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