path of redemption

chapter forty.

-Estella romano

2 years ago...

Nothing could've prepared me for the instant guilt I've been feeling this week. To say i was ashamed would be an understatement. I was utterly condemned. I've been avoiding ash for this week. When ever she tried to talk to me i came up with an excuse "im sorry , rory , april and i are hanging out. I'll catch you later" but infact i never did catch her later. I would make sure to come through my balcony door windows everytime , just so i didn't run into her. It didn't help the fact that last week . A day after damien kissed...me. My sister and him made it official and announced it to the entire house.

My brother was not happy about it. But he came through. Mom was overjoyed . As usual. Ash could wear a trash bag and she'd praise her for looking beautiful. Dad gave them the hugest sex talk and i had to cower ontop of the stairs as i listened to their conversation. Damien gave a few laughs and "yes sir" or "yes ma'am" here and there.

Acting like he didn't just kiss his girlfriends baby sister a day before he announced that they're together. I hate him. But i can't help the feel of his lips on mine. It felt so right. It was like we...fit?

And it didn't help that i heard their sex sessions during this week. I heard everything. Every moan. Every slap of skin against each other. The bed slapping against the wall. Everything!

Yes the thought of telling ash that he kissed me ran through my head a couple of times. But its too late...whats done is done. He kissed me and its completely forgoten. Besides i didn't wanna ruin her relationship. She looks so happy. Its rare. Ash never commits to a relationship. Like ever. It so happens to be that her first relationship is with a guy who kissed me. And called me flower in his disgustingly dreamy accent.

His over again today. I know that because I've been watching him and ash splash each other in the pool whole afternoon. I might look like a stalker. But in this case im not. Theres something so off about this fucking guy.
I could've called april and rory to come over and keep me company but i know if i spend too long with them. Ill just blurt everything out on a silver platter.

He pulls ash under water as her laughter fills the backyard . Feeling my gaze on him. I don't know how. But he feels it. While shes underwater , he turns his head. At me. At my balcony doors. Through my curtain. I freeze. Because what would you do in this moment? A smirk covers his features as he winks at me and my eyes widen. He saw me. And he winked at me?

Pure rage blinds me . How could he? His girlfriend was right next to him ! I don't know what happens. But next thing i know im out of my door. My flipflops smacking against the wooden stairs. I fly down the stairs as my long hair swooshes past me. She needs to know !

I push open the backdoor as the sunlight hits me and the huge oversized sweater i have on feels 10 times heavier than usual. They don't hear my presence they're too busy making out. He's kissing her. With the same mouth...he kissed me with. Don't kiss him ! I want to yell. But im stuck rooted into place.

Suddenly reality hits me and i freeze in place. Whats wrong with me? I could turn around right now but that would draw attention. So i clear my throat and they break apart. Ash turns around with a grin on her beautiful features. Her eyes light up even more when seeing me.

"Stella ! You're here ?" She squeals as she swims to the edge. I give her a soft smile as i bend down. Making sure to put an inch between us. "You finally decided to make time for your big sis? For a second there i was thinking you're avoiding me?" She teases and i chuckle nervously as i look up to damien. He's staring straight at me with that fucked up smirk etched across his face seeming to know what im thinking about. I turn my attention back to my sister as i shrug "I've just been busy, thats all"