special chapter one.

Start from the beginning
                                    

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For three long days, I remain a wolf, prowling the forest, trying to forget.

But Harper haunts me. The smell of honey, blonde hair and blue eyes, delicate features and a slender body.

Eventually, I can't take it anymore.

I return to the pack house in the dead of night and get dressed, then make the long drive to Yale University. It's dawn by the time I arrive.

A warm day, with blue skies the exact color of Harper's eyes.

It's easy to find her; her scent draws me in like a moth to a flame.

She's walking across campus, laughing with a friend, the sun hitting her high cheekbones and brandishing her icy hair golden.

I follow at a distance, just watching.

When she's with her friends, she is bubbly and outgoing. But once they leave and she's alone, it's like a shadow falls over her.

In a quiet spot beside one of the buildings, she leans back against the sandstone wall and closes her eyes, tipping her head back.

It takes every ounce of strength I have not to go to her. I want to comfort her, to ask her what's wrong, to fix every problem she's ever had. But I am relegated to watch from a distance. An observer, a silent partner.

She pulls out her phone and dials a number. I listen carefully, drowning out the rest of the sounds of campus and focusing in on her.

"You've reached April. I can't come to the phone right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you."

Harper thumps her head back in frustration. She speaks into the phone, "What's going on, April? I haven't spoken to you in days. I miss you. If something happened at your parents' place, you can tell me. Just, call me back...please."

Harper hangs up and then slides down till she's sitting on the grass, her phone falling from her hand.

A physical ache starts in my chest and spreads through my body. This is killing me.

Before I realize what I'm doing, my feet are carrying me across the lawn, past a picnic bench filled with other college students and down the sidewalk to the building.

I stop in front of her, my shadow looming above her figure.

She looks up, blinking.

"Are you alright?" I shouldn't be speaking to her, but keeping my distance has become impossible.

"I'm fine." She uses the wall behind her to push herself to her feet. "You're April's friend, aren't you? Do you go here?"

"Yeah," I say, in response to the first question before my brain has processed the second.

"I haven't seen you around campus before," she says and I can't backtrack now, can I? What would I even say? How would I explain being at Yale if I'm not a student?

Don't I look too old to be in college?

"I mostly keep to myself. You looked upset."

She plasters on a bright smile and runs her hands over her straight, shoulder length hair. "Not at all! I'm fine. Hey, have you heard from April recently? And how exactly are you guys friends? She hadn't mentioned you before we met that day."

"I...haven't heard from her since she went to her parents, sorry." Fuck, the lies are piling up. "Honestly, I only just met her. She's sort of dating my friend."

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