Save Mr Lu

Manual on how to bang your shizun (2)

This was the problem with many transmigration stories that had been published all over the internet for the past decade.

You may have heard of a diehard anti-fan who despised a novel so much their anger reached the peak, causing their soul to ascend to another astral plane of enmity, but hold on, there was a twist to this story - they ended up being reincarnated as the character in the novel that they so viciously criticized, becoming a ploy to magnify the protagonist's awesomeness by leaps. Instead of being a cannon fodder, they became a cannon fodder who had to offer their ass up to the black-bellied protagonist.

This most unrealistic aspect was.. how did this seemingly normal man survive in a fight-to-death novel!? How come all of these normal protagonists suddenly became scheming gods whom every male in proximity wanted to lick their feet? It was as if simply transmigrating into another person's body had suddenly unlocked the subdued IQ inside of their body, unleashing the Einstein-level, god-like clairvoyance. In a matter of seconds, even a snot-picking NEET could become a seductive, cunning vixen.

Lao Bangha force-fed the weak willow Shun Qangqia his demonic blood! Oh, so fierce. Oh, so domineering. This is truly the willpower of a scum gong!

Ho ho ho, but even regardless of this unwarranted assault, misery and grievances the weak willow faced due to his dog-like counterpart, they still ended up falling in love due to the 'yaoi' effect.

( Lu Cheng will now be referred to as Wang Fuming )

Wang Fuming couldn't understand the thought process, and the determination that BL authors undergone to pair such ill-fated characters together, and somehow wind up suiting each other inevitably. Still, in this world, there were too many BL characters that suffered unjust torment in the name of propagating 'love.' Why couldn't they just kiss and fall in love like normal gay men? Why make it so needlessly hard on yourselves, my dear fools?

'Because the more unnecessary drama, and the countless hurdles the couple face, the stronger their love will become!' The advocate for all BL in existence, system 3435 defended his interests with integrity.

'Oh, well, I shouldn't criticize the brainless I-abuse-you-but-I-love-you trope so much. After all, I am the Lao Bangha that mercilessly abuses his shizun..' If Wang Fuming hadn't been standing in front of the main top, he would've been smiling darkly, with half of his face shadowed and supporting a wicked grin of ill-intention. However, if he did smile like that right now, his character disposition as a two-faced gentle beast would collapse upon itself.

'More than Lao Bangha, I feel like you're more similar to his shizun whom he chopped all limbs of and only left his head.' The system shattered his reality.

'...In this day and age, can a man not even dream? Tut, tut, capitalism has driven hopes and dreams so far.'

The main lead top who was ruthlessly slandered to bits and pieces inside of Wang Fuming's monologue, only saw his senior's cold face staring straight at him. For a split second, anxiety grew inside of him. Could he.. have found out that it was him who had poisoned him?

It wasn't his fault that Wang Fuming was such an eye-sore, constantly huffing his disgusting breath around Ruo Ying. The two characters in his eyes amounted to little dust, but in this case, he placed more importance on Ruo Ying, who was more like a larger particle dust, than the astronomically minuet Wang Fuming. Li Yin had a set of clear-cut, inflexible rules that he followed absolutely. He had an ideology that those that annoyed him should all just go waddle in the pits of Tartarus - evidently, he was still at the stage of life where he hadn't escaped the chuunibyou phase.

But, who could blame him? After seeing the result of his parents' groundless benevolence bring them only death, how could he still have the heart residing within him to claim that all humans were innately good? If such a fool lived a forgiving life, they would still be used, backstabbed and disposed, like a wet rag that was no longer of use after having fulfilled its purpose.