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The sun shone brilliantly and the virescent colour of the spring day under it's glare was offensively bright and cheerful. It was as if they conspired to show me how the world would go on without him. It shouldn't. Everything should be as grey and foggy as my emotions, it should be cold and damp with silent air. But the birds still sang and the flowers still bloomed.
I walked through the churchyard like a silhouette of myself, wishing I really was as insubstantial as the shadows so that my insides might not feel so mangled.
As I took a step near the front, the long held back tears began to flow. I was not ashamed. I love him. Now he was gone and a light had been extinguished forever in my heart. I sat in my silent sorrow and awaited the start of the funeral service.
Jimin...
My mind boils down to one thing, I miss you. You should be here. Your pretty blue eyes, beautiful smile, wily heart, torn mind, and kind, tortured soul. My heart is missing an integral piece, a part that keeps me from working correctly. When will I let go?
I may have lost you baby, but heaven gained an angel.
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People left one by one, the sun had gone down. The cold air licked the boys' faces, spreading across their skin like a lacy tide on a frigid winter beach. With purple lips tinged with blue, they wrapped themselves with a thin coat.
It was more than crying, it was the kind of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope. He sank to his knees at the small grave, not caring for the damp mud that dirtied his clothes. His tears mingled with the rain and his gasping wails echoed around the gravestones. The pain that flowed from him was as palpable as the frigid fall wind and soon the only people at his side were the singing birds , probably struggling to keep their tears silent, looking up to the watery skies and heaven beyond. He had to believe his lover was safe up there, comfortable and warm. To look down would be to imagine his cold body in a box, bereft of his cuddles and kisses.
Once the tears no longer flowed, his legs wobbled as they struggled to lift his sore body from the ground and take him away.
For the first time in his life, he found himself alone. In a huddled heap of ripped jeans and torn, black coats, he now sat alone and utterly terrified in the darkness. The dark consumed his frail form. His lover wasn't there to soothe his fears, nor was his mother to tell him stories. It was just him, alone in a strange place with strange people.
THE END.
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- Ray:) thank you to everyone who read my story, I hope you enjoyed it.
