Never Mind | #yoonmin

32

The make-up brush is tickling my skin while Hana is trying to cover my blemishes. I keep my eyes closed so it doesn't feel too uncomfortable having her face so close to mine. I swallow as I imagine her warm breath being Jimin's and the brush being his lips, placing little kisses on my forehead, cheeks, chin, neck... My body shifts in the chair to try and stop me from my daydreams.

"Are you also exited for Taemin's new single release today?" Hana asks.

"Mmm. Sure." I lie and clear my throat.

"I'm such a fan of his solo work, I'm sure his entire new album is going to be great. Jisoo said she'd love to have him on the show some time, is that true?" Her voice sounds genuinely exited.

"Ehh, well she mentioned it before, but I doubt he'll have time for us though." In other words, I don't want him to make time for us.

"Really? Hmm... Maybe you're right. Anyway, all done!" And the warm breath and brush disappear from my face. I thank Hana and quickly glance in the mirror. The make-up and my perfectly set hair always make me feel a strange mixture of unfamiliarity and confidence. The confidence I'm definitely going to need today, since it's the first time recording an episode after my sweaty, moaning face was spread all over the internet.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I quickly check it's a message from Jimin. I stand up to go to my little dressing room so I can read and reply in private without eyes snooping around me. I've become a bit overly cautious when it comes to Jimin now.

In the safety of my little space I finally dare to open our chat.

Jimin-ie
Good luck with the recordings today 😊🫰

Yoongi
Thanks, you as well :)
Is the TV station in Busan more impressive than my studio?

Jimin-ie
😂😂
Sorry, yes. More impressive, but not as pretty 😉

Yoongi
Good.
Are you going to see your parents while you're in Busan?

Jimin-ie
Yeah I will try, but the schedule is so tight again...

Yoongi
You know what else is tight?

Jimin-ie
Shut up 😂😂😏

I quickly erase the grin off of my face when someone knocks my door. I guess it's time to get started. Jisoo peeks her head through the door and just nods at me before closing it again. I wish I had more time to prepare for today's guests. I've been too distracted by the gossip and getting sick also didn't help.

Yoongi
Gotta go Jimin-ie. Let me know how it went later

Jimin-ie
Sure, you too 😊
Miss you

Yoongi
Miss you more

Normally I leave my phone in the dressing room while recording, but I find it difficult to trust anyone right now so I mute it and hide it in my pocket. As I'm about to leave the room I see my own reflection in the mirror and notice my cheeks are a bright pink. No amount of make-up could hide that. I fan my hands at my face to try and cool myself down before leaving the room.

——

My quick shower at home was even quicker than I intended it to be. Nausea overwhelms me when I think about Taemin's new single coming out any minute now, but I don't really understand why I'm so nervous about it. Maybe I'm worried it will affect Jimin in some way? Will he hate or love the song? Will he be reminded of his relationship with Taemin too much? Does he miss him?

I slide into my bathrobe and waddle to the kitchen to make some ramyeon. I could use some spicy food to make me forget about my immature jealousy. But first, I check if the single has dropped already.

Fuck. It has. My eyes darts over the cover photo and imagine Jimin kissing those lips. I'm so distracted that I notice the title of the song only when I already start playing it. "Guilty?" I say out loud in astonishment. The name of the song is Guilty? Seriously? This guy has some balls.

I listen carefully to the song and with each line I grow more and more frustrated. He's using his own infidelity as inspiration, making it more difficult for Jimin to forget about it. He's just throwing salt in the wound and he's making money out of it. And what is Jimin getting out of this? Nothing but pain.

As soon as the song ends I try to call Jimin but he doesn't answer, he must still be busy. I take a deep breath and start preparing the spicy noodles. I could really use some right now.

A couple hours later my phone finally buzzes.

"Jimin-ie?"

"H-hyung..." His voice sounds timid and I can hear him snuffle. The image in my mind of Jimin crying makes my forehead wrinkle.

"Oh Jimin-ie... That asshole. I swear I could punch him for real."

"Why would he do this? And why exactly now? Have you read that people are now trying to use this as some sort of proof that I was the one cheating on him?"

"What?! That's insane!"

"They're saying I'm the one who's guilty and that this is Taemin's way of confirming the rumours." Jimin's snuffles are getting louder, making the blood in my body start to boil.

"I'm so sorry Jimin-ie... I... Fuck." I rub my eyes trying to erase the image in my head of people pointing and laughing at Jimin, they wouldn't have called him the guilty one if it wasn't for that photo of us in the car. This is all my fault, again. I hear Jimin starting to cry, my sweet Jimin is crying and I feel like there's nothing I can do. I wish I could at least hold him like he held me when I needed it. I want to whisper comforting words in his little ear while I stroke his soft hair. I want to make him soup and watch a funny show together to distract him.

"I'm coming to Busan." I state and stand up immediately.

"W-what? Why?"

"I... I don't know. I just want to be with you."

"Hyung... It'll take you at least four hours."

"I don't care." I stalk to my bedroom to change into whatever clothes I can find first.

"And then what? People are going to see you come into the hotel here? You think that won't start any more rumours?"

I freeze with a pair of black sweats in my hand. "Fuck. I didn't think of that."

"Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see you, but..."

"No I get it. Sorry, it was a stupid idea." I sigh and let myself fall onto my bed. I stay quiet for a moment, feeling my heart ache with every confirmation I get that Jimin is still crying softly. "Everything is going to be alright." I mumble.

Why are all these things happening lately? I'm becoming more certain of Taemin being the one to take and post those photos in the ally and car. It's just still quite strange how he would have managed to know where we were. Does this guy have too much time on his hands? Is he just following us around? Is he asking someone else to do that for him? He'd have the money to pay someone for it.

"Jimin-ie, have you spoken with Taemin recently?"

"N-no... Why?"

"Just wondering. I'm curious to know how his tone would be towards you. If he's angry, regretful..." And I can't deny that I'm quite curious in general if those two still keep in touch.

I hear Jimin blows his nose. "S-should I talk to him?"

"Oh, no, you really don't have to. I was just asking is case you did."

"Well, we do message every now and then, but it's nothing really. He just asks how I'm doing sometimes and compliments my videos." Jimin admits. "But I haven't seen or called him or anything like that."

"Oh. Right. Well, that doesn't sound like he's angry at least..."

"Maybe I should call him actually. I want to hear from him directly if this song has anything to do with him cheating on me. The lyrics don't even suggest that he's sorry." Jimin's tone changes from timid to determined.

"A-are you sure you want to talk with him?" I kind of don't want them to talk, is that selfish?

"I think so."