A/N : Not me stress writing fanfiction because I just got a job offer to start in January and I'm more stressed than I've ever been haha.
Chapter 19
Curt POV
I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm worried Selena is going to run away without me knowing and self destruct because of her dad's death. Luckily Riker has nowhere to run away to, but I'm scared he'll hurt himself again when I'm not looking.
I'm used to being the emotional support person for Selena and Riker, but not at the same time. This is really hard and it's stressing me out so much.
I finished showering, got dressed, and went back to my room. And I was happy to find Selena and Riker both asleep in my bed. That's probably the best thing that could've happened tonight.
I got some blankets and a pillow and laid down on the floor. I just hope tomorrow is a better day than today.
Later...
Riker POV
I woke up, but was still half asleep. I realized Selena wasn't next to me anymore and sat up.
It was the middle of the night, so it was kind of hard to see, but I could see enough from the moonlight that she was standing next to the window. So I got up and walked over to her.
"What are you doing?" I whispered.
"I just want some fresh air," she whispered back.
I opened the window quietly and we both climbed out. Selena took my hand and made me sit down in the grass next to her.
"Are you ok?" I asked.
"No. I don't know if I'll ever be ok."
She leaned her head on my shoulder and sighed.
"Growing up, I knew he had heart issues. And it's almost like I just knew eventually he would die because of it."
She held my hand in her lap.
"Do you know how scared I am that it's going to happen to me too? What if I have his bad heart genetics?"
I stayed silent. I don't know what to say.
"I'm literally going to be scared for the rest of my life that the same thing is going to happen to me."
"Were there signs that your dad had heart issues? Like blood tests or anything?"
"Yes. Lots of things."
"Then can't you get those same things tested to see if you're at risk or not?"
"Yeah. I have. Everything came back normal. But I'm still scared."
"Don't waste your time being scared unless you have a real reason to be. You're young. Things like this don't usually happen to people at this age."
"I know, but I'm still scared. And now I have a million things to worry about because my dad died. My mom is arranging a funeral and all that. And we're going to have to do something with all his stuff. There's just so much to do and all of it is going to be miserable and so sad. I'm tired of being miserable. I pretend to be happy all the time and I'm too tired to do it anymore."
"You don't have to. You don't have to hide your feelings."
"I hate feelings."
"I know. But now I can understand better how you feel."
"I'm only telling you how I feel because I'm literally at rock bottom."
"That's ok. I am too."
"How is your wrist?"
"Hurts."
"Bad?"
"It's just really sore."
"You really need to stop doing that. Seriously. You could've died, Riker."
"I know. I just got so upset. And nobody was there to help."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there."
"No! It's not your fault. You should've been at the hospital, not with me. I'm not blaming you. I just needed to do something to feel better, so I took out my feelings on my arm. And now I just feel stupid. My dad's going to get that hospital bill, and he's going to question what happened. He'll find out what I did. I'll be in so much trouble. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go back!"
"You don't have to. Just stay with Curt. Or me. But I probably won't be home much for the next few days."
"What if he calls the police on me again?"
"Then just stay at our houses and don't go out in public so they can't find you."
"This is such a mess."
"We'll both get through these things together," she said, intertwining our fingers.
"Promise?"
"I promise. And Curt will help us too."
I sighed.
"What?" Selena asked.
"You're just my first best friend ever. And right now you should be focusing on yourself and your dad, but instead, you're worried about me and what's going on in my life."
"Because I care about you."
"I know, but your dad just died."
"Crying over him isn't going to bring him back. And focusing on all those sad feelings is going to put me in a bad headspace. I'd much rather focus on you and keeping you safe. I don't want to lose two people that I love."
"You love me?"
"Of course I do."
"I don't even know if my dad loves me."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Well I do," she said, squeezing my hand.
"But why? I'm such a mess. And I cut when you told me not to."
"Riker, I don't care about any of that stuff. You're perfect to me."
"How? I don't get it. I have panic attacks and I hurt myself. How is that perfect?"
"I'm not talking about what you do. I'm talking about who you are. You're probably the sweetest person I know. And you care so much about people. You just have such a good heart, Riker. I don't know what I would do without you."
"But you have Curt. And you've been friends with him for way longer."
"I know. He's a great friend too. But he's not as sensitive as you to peoples' feelings. Curt can be pushy and try to get me to talk about my feelings. You don't. You don't need to know my feelings, you just want to make me feel better however you can."
"That's what you guys were fighting about the other day, right?"
"Yes. He knows I don't like talking about my feelings but he tries to force me to do it anyway. And I hate it."
"I don't think he should be forcing you. Sometimes people need time before they're ready to talk about something. And some people might not ever be ready to talk. He should respect that."
"This is another reason why you're perfect, Riker. Literally you're just... perfect."
She gently brought her hand up to my cheek and turned my face slightly more towards hers. And she kissed me.
YOU ARE READING
Windows
Fanfiction15 year old Riker Lynch and his dad move into a new house. His bedroom window is only about 15 feet away from the neighbors' window. He befriends the girl next door but can't become very close friends with her because of his secrets. He doesn't want...
