Never Mind | #yoonmin

15

"What do you mean?" He picks up a jar of face cream and starts investigating the label.

"Well, you still seem upset with me... Is it because I said we should avoid each other?"

"Hmm... no." He keeps pretending to read the label. His fake, nonchalant attitude is starting to bother me. I was expecting him to be honest with me, but I guess we all have a bit of an ego sometimes.

"Jimin." I grab his arm and turn him around so we finally face each other. "Talk to me." I say sternly and see his eyes grow big. I patiently wait for them to reduce to their normal size and for him to start talking.

"Alright. You know I'm going through this shit with the AI images right now, I just don't understand why you suddenly start talking about avoiding me and being all mysterious about it while I need my friend. If I made you uncomfortable at the bar you should just tell me, but don't push me away." Jimin looks at me with sharp eyes and clenches onto the jar of face cream which is still in his hand.

"You think I'm pushing you away?"

"Yes. You barely contact me anymore since that Friday night and you said all those vague things at Namjoon's... It seemed like you didn't even want me to be there in the first place. You kept saying I shouldn't feel forced to come, which kind of sounded like a hint. Then you avoided me almost the whole evening. Then on Monday you didn't even deny when I said I thought you were angry with me. What am I supposed to think?"

"Oh..." I take a moment to look at my actions from his point of view. I grow to understand it really must seem like I'm avoiding him, which I guess I technically have been doing. I've been too nervous to really talk to him. Too anxious I'd say the wrong things and scare him off. Too afraid that I'll give into my feelings and ruin our friendship. I'd only end up hurting him by being incapable to love him properly, he deserves to be loved properly. But I want him in my life so badly.

"I-I really don't mean to push you away. I think. At least I don't want to do that at all. I want the opposite, I want to help you and talk to you, every day. I think about you every day." Shit. That was too much, if the truth can be too much.

"Really? But... what's the problem then? What did I do to make you avoid me?" His demeanour changes from frustration to sorrow. Almost sadness.

"Oh Jimin-ie, you didn't do anything... I'm sorry I made you think you did something wrong. And I'm sorry I haven't been there for you." I look down, trying to make this moment feel a bit less intense. "I didn't think you'd need me like that... You have so many friends, what could I possibly still add in your life?"

Jimin sighs and softens his tight grip on the face cream jar and carefully places it back on the table behind him. "Hyung, don't say that, don't you realise how special you are to me?" He makes me look back up at him by placing his little hand on my blushing cheek. The endearing gesture makes me speechless, so I just look at him, wondering what I could have possibly done right to make him consider me as special. His warm words and hand make my heart flutter like crazy. The only way I see out of this without kissing him is by breaking the tension with a lame joke.

"I realise I'm especially annoying, yes." I let the corners of my mouth rise ever so slightly. Luckily Jimin soon follows my example and shows a little smile as well.

"Hyuunngg..." He then whines in a comical tone and grabs my shoulders to gently shake me back and forth. I chuckle and we soon dissolve in laughter. It wasn't even that funny, but I guess we both just needed to laugh everything off for a moment.

Jimin lets his head drop to my shoulder as his laughter dies out. His arms flop around my neck with a sigh and I find my arms around his waist. I suddenly look myself in the eyes in the mirror behind Jimin and it is as if I'm looking at two strangers. Two people, tired, with a desire to be understood. With a desire for each other. I bury my face in Jimin's neck as soon as I start to recognise myself in the mirror. Jimin starts playing with my hair on the back of my head, making me feel way too comfortable. Safe.

"Yoongi-ya..." Jimin moves his head back slightly, so I have to lift myself out of his comfortable neck and return my gaze into the mirror. I then completely freeze when I feel and see his soft lips against my cheek, where he places a tender little kiss. If I would have to rely on my sense of touch alone, I would have brushed this away as a friendly little peck, but witnessing this like a third person puts me in doubt.

"I mean it though, you really are special to me." He says quietly against my burning cheek. I close my eyes so I don't have to see myself say what I'm about to tell him.

"Jimin-ie, I cherish our friendship so much... I started avoiding you because I'm afraid I'd fuck things up and hurt you, that I'd lose you, but by doing that I pushed you away and caused the exact thing I didn't want to happen. I really don't want to lose you."

"Mmm..." Jimin sighs with a hint of relief. "I don't want to lose you either, hyung. I won't let that happen." He places another, longer kiss on my cheek, making my heart skip a beat or two.

"Promise me." I whisper and let my lips almost touch his cheek.

"I promise." He replies calmly and I immediately allow my hungry lips to press against his soft skin. A kiss just a few centimetres from his lips. A few centimetres away from fucking it all up. I feel a massive pull between my head and my heart. Just a few centimetres and my heart wins, but at a cost that feels too high. Reluctantly I decide to let my heart lose and keep my lips where they are, with the consolation prize of kissing his cheek one more time. I feel Jimin smile, causing the corner of his mouth to come too close to my lips.

I quickly pull my head back and open my eyes to try and wake myself up from this warm haze, but I fail. I see Jimin's eyes jump back and forth between mine before he closes them and lets his forehead touch mine. His fingers softly scratch the back of my head. For a moment I allow myself to disappear in the hazy bubble again. I don't want to come down from this cloud, just a few more seconds. And a few more. His head tilts so our noses touch. Just a few centimetres. A little voice in my head tells me to just do it. Just kiss him. Just. Kiss. Him.

But I don't. I let the few centimetres turn into a dozen as I slowly feel myself fall down from the cloud, back into my dressing room. The dressing room of the recording studio where I still have to do a full on interview with the man in my arms. And Jungkook.

"Shit." I accidentally say out loud.

"What?"

"We left Jungkook with Jisoo."

"Is that a problem?"

"Heh, we should probably go rescue him."