United

Part 32

Next morning we got up at 7 am, had breakfast and headed to the venue. Teatro Positivo - a venue for our show. Out of the bus we went straight to get our microphones and in-ears and that took about an hour or so to get done. It was loud and chaotic because everyone with their mics on already started talking, shouting and "checking" their microphones in other ways.  When it was all done, rehearsal started. Quickly went through all of the songs, one by one, making sure we don't mess up formations and none of the moves. Trying not to give away too much energy at rehearsals we also tried to make it look something similar, so we could correct if something was done wrong. 

Then we just wait.

Wait for our time to go change, get make up and get ready to perform. Usually we just goof around doing silly things, playing games or just sleeping. It all depends on the day and the mood.

Later on in the day after just chilling around, Josh came to me and suggested we play with the ball. You wouldn't call it football as it was just a few of us but it still was fun. We were running around and little by little a few NU members came to join us play or just watch. A few moments later through the corner of my eye I saw there was standing Sina, next to her was Sofia, Heyoon, Hina and Shivani. I smiled to myself from the thought that she's now with me and eve though we have to hide it from others, at least I don't have to hide my feelings from her.

"NU, NU, Nooooow U-NI-TED", "NU, NU, Noooow  U-NI-TED" I heard girls screaming like cheerleaders. Josh started laughing and I couldn't keep it in myself anymore. 

"NU, NU, Nooooow U-NI-TED...NOAH!!!" and this got lost in all of the girls screaming different names but damn I knew so well how shouted my name. I couldn't stop smiling because I felt like my chest was going to burst from all the love that I felt. We finished playing as it was time to eat and get ready for the show, I came to Sina and dropped my arm around her shoulders and suddenly noticed that there was Jake with a camera. Probably filming Now United weekly episode. I quietly took Sina to cafeteria...or basically a room with food there. 

- What are you going to eat?, -  I asked looking at the food there.

- Umm, don't know... probably a salad, - she said taking a plate and handing one to me.

- Please eat something more, or at least make a good one, show demands a lot of energy and I don't want you to faint in the middle of the show, - I tried to talk silently so no one would hear us.

- I'll make a good on, don't worry.

I was making myself a plate filled with pasta, meat, some cheese and veggies because it was actually hard to jump around for a few hours. To tell you the truth, I didn't believe her, not even a little but I'm not gonna pressure her. I want her to feel good about herself, but I can't make her do things. Just want her to know that I'll be there for her.

- I wish we would get a room together again, it was calm sleeping with you, - she whispered to me.

- I wish that would happen again, trust me, - I smiled at her, - actually that would be so much easier if other members could know about us , - I turned to look at her.

- No Noah, no, you know that can't happen at least for now, - she looked nervous and worried.

- They would be happy for us, - I said almost to myself.

- I know they would, but we don't know how management would react to us breaking a rule and also then we might not be so careful and fans would instantly figure it out. And once it's out, it's gonna get crazy.

- Sina, you know that someday we would have to tell everyone... - I looked at her seriously, - we'd have to tell everyone someday and what difference does it make if we do it today or in a few moths? It's just harder for the two of us to hide it from everyone. 

- I know Noah, I know, - she started whisper shout at me but caught herself right in time, because some of the members started to turn at us, - it's not easy for me too, but I know right now is not the time. I need to deal with the hate first before I can deal with management. I can't deal with both...

- You know I'm always there and management might be angry with us both so you won't be alone.

- You know the difference? They won't throw you out of the band because you sing...and you're a good performer, and a lot of fans are fans of Now United because of you, - she talked so seriously that I was unsure if she might cry or not - and me...yes I dance well, but they can always change me, they can always bring in a better dancer.

She stood up taking her half empty plate to throw out.

- I need to get ready.

And with that she walked away.

I understand her feelings, I do. But also I think that they would not throw her out because of the bond and chemistry with other band members and me. We all just fit together and bring something to the group. I see why she's asking to wait, she's scared and upset but I want to be able to show freely how I feel about her. It's hard but I can control myself and not kiss her when she's next to me, but it sucks being careful all the time even with the way you look at a girl you like. You have to think about it all the time, because damn fans are good. Even though they don't know it, they add up things too well. They figure out where you looking, why you looking, who you're looking at.

I open text messages and open a chat with Sina.

"I understand you. I understand why you want to keep it a secret. I would like to tell everyone that I am with you because I'm happy and proud but that can wait as long as it makes you feel better. I'll always be there for you. X"

Sent.