Beguile

Chapter 63

I woke up to find myself in bed with Kurt and Rie. There's a peaceful rise and fall in their chest and their long lashes lay unmoving, unlike my heart which drums against my ribs while my limbs trembled along with the painful fog clouding my brain.

I looked around but there's not a sight of Lucas, and once again my whole body beats feverishly.

He's going to kill me again.

My eyes landed to Kurt.... I wonder what they've been planning. I wonder why they've kept me alive this long.

Then a thought occurred and my heart broke more.

They probably kept me to be nothing more than a plaything. Nothing more than to humiliate me.

Even though I cared for them. Even though I liked them. Even though I was willing to kill for them.

I was fine with my past covered with haze because I had them, but what will I do now with my present appearing to be all lies?

I lifted Kurt's arm off of me, discreetly getting off from bed. But then, where will I go now? With no slippers or shoes in sight to cover my feet from the coldness of blood on floor.

When I heard a tiny squeak from the distance, with nothing in mind, like instinct I bolted off to the door.

I heard someone called me from behind, with a voice so familiar, so sweet and nice, and a devil in disguise.

And so I ran, unlike in my memory where I let him plunge a knife deep into my chest. This time, I'll run so it's my feet that'll break instead of my heart.

The cold floor feels like needles against the sole of my feet, but I managed to pass doors after doors, bodies after bodies, and until I can no longer hear him. And that's when I stopped.

Without the stomping of my feet, the halls seems so quiet in contrast to the beat against my ribs which becomes louder every time I move. And so I stayed still. Despite my feet getting drowned with solidifying blood. Despite the open door right beside me. And yet, even with such protest I can still remember the feel of her limbs as she desperately cling onto me, and how her warmth slowly disappeared while she was in my arms.

She's dead. And I kept forgetting.

El is dead.

With much courage, I ran inside the room and fell into a disheveled heap as I wrapped myself into her very cold body.

Tears wouldn't even come out of my eyes.

But why?... Even though, this time I really care.

"Ha!" I heard Lucas approaching. He ran his hand through his hair as he leaned against the doorframe, huffing a breath as he awkwardly try to smoothed down his shirt. "You're here. I thought you were going to leave."

I wondered the same, but then where am I even going?

I have no choice but to face my nightmares.

"Lucas." I started, all while gripping into the coldness of El's corpse. "What exactly is your opinion of me?"

He discreetly stiffened, "Where is this coming from?"

"Please Lucas, I just.. Please, just answer."

His brows furrowed, and theres a curious tone lace in his words. "What do you want me to say, Ken?"

I shrank into the solidifying yet fragile corpse, so much so that tapping into the skin might make it crumble. With a few seconds of the cold and silence, a thought came into me.