*chapter thirty-one*

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|JONI|

I felt better the next morning, but still full of insecurities that I knew Paul wouldn't be able to fix overnight, he wouldn't be able to fix them at all -that was something I'd have to work through on my own. He didn't sleep over last night, I wouldn't let him. I didn't want distance, but I needed some space at least to think on my own and be in my own bed. I got ready to head over to Sam and Emily's, prepared to see him again.

I was still working through a lot of different emotions. Not that anyone owed me anything but the fact that they all kept this hidden too kind of hurt, but I get the pack bond comes first. And then there was Paul, I meant it when I said I love him, because I do, I think even if I'm still figuring out what that word means I know I feel strongly for him. I would die for him. Trying to balance what the imprint is and what my own emotions are is really complicated, I'm not sure where one ends and the other one begins. I just know the days I haven't seen him, are the worst days, and seeing him so hurt last night destroyed me. I never want to see him hurting or in pain.

Paul and Jared were on the porch when I got in front of the house, arguing about something but I couldn't hear what. They both turned their heads as I walked up the drive must've been that wolf hearing. Jared went inside and Paul smiled at me, immediately pulling me into a hug and making me giggle a little bit. I pulled away to go inside but he stopped me.

"So I've got worn you, she's inside." He said trying to scan my eyes to know how I felt about it, "Jacob brought her over, I think she's staying a few days."

"Okay...how about this time you stay glued to my side and not hers?" I teased him.

I pulled him inside, saying hi to everyone as we walked in. I wasn't going to let my insecurities win today, I wasn't going to let her see me upset or being awkward or anything. I forced myself to have a new found confidence, Paul was mine and there was nothing she could do. From the other side of the table she glared at me, I sat down on Paul's lap as there weren't enough seats for all of us now.

"So you must be Joni," Rachel said with a touch of attitude.

"Yeah that's me."

"Sorry I stole your boyfriend last night. You should probably keep a better eye on him, it was a little too easy."

Paul wrapped his arm tighter around me, sensing that her works ticked me off a little.

"Doesn't look like you stole him at all to me." I replied with a smile, leaning back into him more and turning to ask Emily what was for breakfast.

"So how'd you two meet?" She asked before I could even speak to Emily, "Jacob said he saved your life or something?"

"Yeah something like that."

I looked at Jacob whose eyes went wide, he put his hands up as a show of innocence.

"I want details. Is that where you got those scars? Wait.." Rachel grabbed my hand flipping it over and running her finger over my wrist.

I pulled away quickly, folding my hands in my lap. It was the first time I'd felt comfortable wearing a T-shirt because it was a warm day and I didn't realize they were that noticeable.

"I got it now. You're the Forks girl who tried killing herself. My friend Sarah had mentioned something about a body in the ocean and the boys, we just didn't think she survived."

I felt uncomfortable, there was no need to bring this up. Rachel was just being a class A bitch because I was here with Paul and he had rejected her.

Sensing my discomfort Paul spoke up, "Enough Rachel."

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