Only the "Strong" Survive | Paul Lahote |

*chapter eleven*

It became a ritual that Paul would stop by work as I closed to make sure I was safe. I only asked him to a couple of times, but even when I haven't asked he showed up. It's been like this for about a month now and everyday, even on the hard days, seeing his brown eyes and soft smile right when I get off work makes me feel better.

He always comes 10 to 15 minutes before I get off work. Talks to me and Nancy, and she just loves him. He talks to her about her sons, I learned his mom left him and his dad in a similar was as Nancy's husband. So Paul understood how they felt and the best ways to help them. The two of them would go on forever if I let them.

That's why it was weird when he didn't show up tonight, I waited a few minutes past my shift but he didn't come and I didn't see his truck pulling up the small road either. So I decided to leave, I locked the door quickly behind me and practically sprinted to my car. Locking those doors when I was inside and turning on all the lights so I could check my back seat. I had no texts or missed calls from, no reason why he didn't come. The feeling of disappointment in my chest I guess was my own fault, Paul didn't owe me anything he didn't have to come.

I drove quickly but safely back to Sue's, grateful that I had a warm bed and food to eat. I don't what I did in this life to deserve the way she takes care of me, but I appreciated it more than I could ever explain to her. Seth was on the couch when I came in the front door, he smiled at me asking me about my night.

"No Paul? He always walks you to the door."

"He didn't come tonight," I told him trying not to sound too upset.

He gave me a funny look, but just nodded and looked back at the TV while scrolling on his phone. I put my leftovers from work in the fridge and went out to the garage, changing out of my work clothes and throwing on oversized sweats and a sweatshirt. It was awfully cold in here tonight which I both loved and hated. I tried to distract myself and relax by watching TV, found myself on a rerun channel that was playing Married with Children.

I began obsessively checking my phone even though the ringer was on, hoping maybe Paul had texted or something and I'd missed it. But after another hour of waiting, I put the phone down and decided it was time to sleep.

...................................................................................

Two weeks. It'd been two weeks since the last time I'd seen Paul. He completely stopped coming by my work, he never seemed to be at Sam and Emily's when I was there, and he didn't answer but a couple of my phone calls so I stopped calling. I went around with life as normal, I worked, hung out with Seth, tried to talk to Leah. But nothing could distract me from wondering where he was or what he was doing or why he didn't want to speak to me. It wasn't just him though, it seemed like they all rotated on who would come to dinner. Some nights Jared was gone too, sometimes Embry too, all of them it seemed took turns. But it was the absence of Paul that bothered me most.

That first night at the diner, the way he held me, the soft kiss on my forehead and him telling me everything was okay. It replayed in my head over and over because in that moment I believed him. I don't know what I did wrong, maybe it was because I cried? Maybe it was because I didn't let him come inside and hang out because I always got off so late and just wanted to sleep? Maybe he felt like he was having to babysit me? But I never asked him for anything. I greeted him with a hug, a smile, and thank you everytime he would show up. I thought we were friends, I thought he liked me. But I guess like everyone else he just felt sorry for me. Maybe none of them really wanted me around at all.

"What's with the sad face?" Sue said taking a sip of her coffee.

"It's nothing important. He just still hasn't called, or texted or shown up or anything. I don't know what I did."

With a soft smile she tried to help me feel better, "The boys are all just busy right now. I'm sure it was nothing you did."

But I shook my head, it had to be me. I mess everything up, with everyone.

"There's a bonfire tonight, a tribe thing where the elders tell stories and Emily makes food. Why don't you come and maybe you'll run into him there?"

"But I'm not a member of the tribe..."

Sue laughed a little, "Oh sweetie you are now. You live here, you're one of us."

I smiled at her, that comment warmed my heart. But sadness still loomed because it no longer felt that way from anyone but her, and Seth.