Wild Ride (Cyberverse Mech!reader X Hot Rod)

3: Broken

"Ratchet, I'm fine." I said as the medic ran yet another scan over me.

"Your lights almost went out because of your stubborn hunger strike. Y/D, it's my job to make sure bots are functioning."

"It wasn't a 'hunger strike'." I said sternly before signing sadly. "I just didn't have the energy to move. It happens a lot." Ratchet paused his scan and gave me a sympathetic look.

"These low energy moments, when did they start?" He asked gently.

"When I lost my carrier. Sometimes it's so bad that I don't leave berth for days." I then looked down at my hands and watched as they trembled slightly. "It especially got worse when the war began, when... when I became... Primus, I'm a monster." I felt my wings shutter on my back as I tried to keep my composure. But all I saw were the faces of those I slew, the energon that I spilled in the hunt for a murderer. The screams of those who I was ordered to terminate echoed in my mind, and the roar of battles raged with it.

I felt my spark begin to race, and the monitor that I was hooked up to blared an alarm alerting Ratchet to the sudden increase in sparkrate. On the outside, Ratchet was trying to calm me down, but on the inside, I only saw the destruction I caused. My vents became rapid and irrational the further, and further, I slipped until my systems finally gave out, and I ended up crashing hard. Everything became weak, and I lost control of my frame as I tumbled off of the examination table and onto the floor with a loud clang, the sound alerting Optimus and Hot Rod from outside the medical bay.

"Ratchet? What happened?" Optimus asked as he and Hot Rod rushed in.

"System crash, probably one of the worst cases I've seen in a long time. Give me a hand with getting him back on the table." The 3 bots carefully lifted my half-concious frame back up onto the examination table and laid me down flat on my back. Eventually, I slowly came to and sat up with a groan, my optics staring at the floor with exhaustion from the whole ordeal.

"You okay, Y/D?" Hot Rod asked as he placed a kind hand on my back. I flinched a little at the contact but then relaxed.

"I'm fine." I muttered under my breath. I then stood and disconnected myself from the monitor, much to the protest of Ratchet. I ignored the medic and went out of the med bay and down to the brig. I entered my cell and scrunched myself into a corner where no one could see me. Fluid began to build in my optics as the guilt, grief, and embaressment of it all forced its way through. For the first time in centuries, I allowed myself to cry. Despite being mostly quiet, Hot Rod heard my sorrow and found the mess that was me.

"Y/D?" He said, startling the life out of me as I looked up at him with a damp face and watery optics.

"Go away. Don't.... don't look at me." I said as I hid my face from view and turned my back to him. Hot Rod entered my cell and knelt down next to me with an almost empathetic look on his face.

"I'm not going to do that." He said. "You're clearly hurting, and I want to help." He places a gentle hand on me, and I shrugged it off.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Why what?" He asked.

"Why are you being kind to me? I don't deserve it. I never deserved it."

"Everyone deserves kindness." He then did something I was not expecting. Hot Rod opened his arms and wrapped them around me in a warm embrace, startling the life out of me.

"Wh... what's this?" I asked.

"It's called a hug. You can hug back, you know." I hesitantly returned the hug and relaxed in the younger bots' arms. It felt nice, and it helped me calm down significantly.

"I'm... I'm sorry." I said quietly. "I'm not used to this."

"Well, you better get used to it." Hot Rod teased as he released me with a grin. "Now come on, let's get you back before Ratchet blows a gasket." I chuckled a little at his words, and the pair of us returned to the med bay.

Ratchet eventually cleared me on the condition I would come by every so often to check in on my 'mental health', whatever that meant. It was quite strange how different the Autobot medics were compared to what the Decepticons had. In fact, the Decepticons didn't really have medics as it was more of a 'every bot for themself' kind of army.

"Strange." I muttered as I followed Hot Rod out of the medical bay and into the various halls of the Ark.

"What is?" He asked curiously.

"Hm? Sorry, I'm just thinking out loud a little." I said as I shrugged my thoughts off.

"You live in your head too much." Hot Rod teased. I chuckled a little in amusement at the young bot as a smile crept on my face.

"True, but I can't help it sometimes." I admitted with a shrug. "By the way um... thanks for looking for me when I took off. You didn't have to do that or... well any of this."

"It's the right thing to do. Besides, I kinda owe you one for saving my life back on Cybertron."

-flashback-

"Fire is getting out of control! We need to fall back!" I called to my platoon as Kaon was alight with an uncontrollable blaze. "Decepticons! Fall back! Fall back!"

"Help!" I heard a voice say from within the flames. "Someone please! Help!" I dove through the ashes and smoke in search for the voice to find an Autobot pinned under a pole. He looked up at me with fear, something I was use to but strangely hated from this bot. I had a choice to make.

"Hold still. I'm going to get you out of this." I said as I grabbed the bar and used brute force to fling it off. "Where is your squadron?"

"I don't know. Please... don't hurt me." The wounded Autobot said.

"You are in no condition to fight, thus I won't fight you." I said as I slung his entire frame over my shoulders and ran through the roaring flames. I dodged and weaved through burning debris and jumped out on the other side in a billow of smoke, spotting none other than Optimus Prime and the other Autobots. "Where's your medic?" I demanded as I approached. Thankfully the soot from the flames concealed my insignia and most of my details so the Autobots had no clue who I was.

"Over here!" The Autobot medic Ratchet waved. I carefully passed the half-concious mech to him and began to leave when I was stopped by Optimus placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Who are you?" He asked. I looked back at him with a blank expression before speaking.

"A hunter." I then dove back into the flame and ran back to my platoon.

-present-

"You... you were the bot trapped under that blaze?" I asked with surprise.

"Yeah, didn't have the whole fire motif and colors at the time." Hot Rod said as his digits traced his flames. "I got them because I wanted to find the hunter that saved me. Never knew it was you until I heard your voice here on earth."

"I... I always wondered what happened to you." Hot Rod then smiled up at me and I felt my spark flutter in my chassis.

"Well I'm very much alive thanks to you, so call us even now hm?"

"I guess we are."