A Fangirl's Secret/ Soobin

ONLY you/25

Seo-ah's POV

I stood in the audition room, my breath heavy. Would all of my hard work pay off?

"We should get back to you shortly! Thank you for stopping by and we will definitely be in touch." The gentleman smiled at me just before I walked out the door.

"Thank you," I said breathless. It must've been the nerves that made me feel this way. No matter how slowly I breathed, I could sense an unfamiliar feeling emerge deep inside me. I could feel my body tense, my heart pounding inside my chest. A sense of anxiety washed over me and before I knew it, I had a full-blown anxiety attack in the JYP hallway. I tried making my way to the bathroom but the place was like a maze. I opened the door to a room which looked empty. The last thing I want is for someone to see me have an anxiety attack in the hallway.

The lights were on and I stood in what looked like a dance practice room. I sat on the floor and cupped my face. Why was this happening? This has never happened to me. Tears poured down my cheeks but my cries were muffled against my palms. 

"Are you okay?" I heard a male voice speak up.

I looked up to see a man standing next to me. My eyes remained blurry from the tears but I soon wiped them off.

"Y-yes." I managed to say.

My eyes met Chan, who was now squatting on the floor next to me.

"I can tell that you are not okay. Did you want to talk about it?" His voice was so calming.

"Honestly.. I don't even think I'm supposed to be in here." I let out a small laugh as I slowly got up.

"How about I go get you a water and then we can talk more about that later." He reassured my worries of getting caught.

He led me to a chair and quickly ran to grab water from the fridge. I couldn't help but feel guilty for taking up his time. He returned moments later with water and handed it to me.

"I appreciate it. Thank you." I smiled at his generosity and proceeded with several small sips

"So.. Are you a trainee here or..?" He questioned.

"I actually just auditioned today," I say nervously once again because I couldn't tell if I was going to get in trouble for being here.

Chan must've sensed my nerves. "Don't worry by the way. I won't tell anyone." He reassured me once again.

"Were you nervous about how you did?" He asked.

"I mean I think it just hit me with how this is really my last chance at auditioning for my dream," I spoke softly, trying to withhold another anxiety attack.

"What makes you think that this is your last chance?" He looked at me confused.

"Well.. I'm almost 23 and not many people debut this late." I explained.

"But you still came here which shows that you still believe that it's possible." Chan tried to reason with my emotions.

"I want to try more but I'm afraid of getting my hopes up." I frowned.

"I can assure you that trying never hurt anyone. It's the giving up that hurts the most" He spoke.

"Mmm.." My eyes peered to the floor. 

"But I don't want to make you upset. What can I do to make you smile?" His eyes peered at mine.

"What do you like most about this company?" I decided to ask out of curiosity.

"I like being able to have the freedom of writing and producing my own songs." He brightened up as he talked about his passions.

"Do you have a favorite song to sing?" His eyes once again met mine.

"I like Only by LeeHi." I smiled.

"You should sing it." He urged.

"Like.. right now?" I laughed slightly.

"Yes right now. I'll put on a backtrack and you can just sing right here and now." He spoke.

"If you promise that I won't get in trouble then I will." I felt happy in this moment and my worries lessened.

"Promise." He said and then rushed over to the speaker to turn it on.

The music started playing and before I knew it, I was already singing it. In each lyric I sang, all I could picture was Soobin. My emotions shone through the lyrics and once the song ended, I relaxed and my mood shifted completely.

"Wow.." Chan stood there motionless. He looked at me and at a loss for words, just smiled at me.

"I told you that I love that song." A small laugh invaded my sentences.

"No kidding. You sounded just.. amazingly." His eyes looked directly into mine once again.

Moments later the door swung open and I felt Chan's arms pull me behind the counter.

"What's-" I was cut off.

"Shhh.. Someone is here." He whispered.

We stood like that for several minutes until we were certain that the unknown individual was gone.

"I guess that's my cue to leave," I spoke.

"Well just know that if you ever choose JYP, I'll be here to help you out. You'll definitely go far with this career if you choose to work hard and not give up. I trust that you'll do that." He smiled at me once more and I thanked him.

"Thank you Chan." I bowed slightly to show my gratitude.

"Oh and what is your name by the way." He quickly spoke before I left.

"Lee Seo-ah." 

"Okay then.. I'll know what name to look out for." He waved goodbye and I left the practice room.