A Fangirl's Secret/ Soobin

A Dream-Like State/11

Seo-ah's POV

My eyes trail up to meet his and my heart starts stinging with both pain and attraction when I see who was behind the mask this whole time. I can tell he realizes that my reaction is a negative one when he tries to grab my hand.

"Don't.. touch me Soobin." I angrily say.

"P-please Seo-ah. Hear me out.." Soobin pleads with me.

"What makes you think I want to hear you out? I thought this wasn't what it looked like. Isn't that what you told the management and your fans? How DARE you spend time with me, pretending like what happened in Japan didn't happen. Guess what? IT DID!" I feel hot tears pour out of my eyes.

"Seo-ah.. I know I should have told you then and there how I felt about you.. how I knew you before I met you as Soobin. I mean, I should have even told you when I first hung out with you in Japan.. But I didn't. But I'm scared Seo-ah-" He once again reaches for my hand and I oblige.  "I'm scared of what might happen if we continue this.. The company, my fans... they might not be as supportive. But I am even more terrified of letting you go. I have grown so close to you these past 7 months. I've tried leaving.. I have."

Despite my original intention of ignoring him and not hearing him out, I did anyways. What Soobin did hurt me, but what hurt most was seeing him break into tears in front of me. His body practically fell into mine as I held him while he cried. My fingers subconsciously started running through his hair to soothe him. Ha-Yun was right all along. Soobin did like me, but the pressure of it all.. He must've had a tough time keeping this in.

"Soobin-" I pause, still holding him tight. "I may not understand why you did it, but I am willing to try." 

He loosens my grip on him and he looks at me teary-eyed. "Really?"

"When you are feeling up to it, we can talk about it. For now, let's just stay like this for a while." We embraced again and I could feel him finally relax. 

By the time we realized how dark it had gotten, it was 11:00 P.M. We both were too tired to drive back and with only one hotel currently booking at this hour, we made our way to the hotel. It was a 5-minute drive from the beach and looked okay from the outside.

"One room?" I look over at Soobin who is once again disguised in a black mask.

"That should be good. We will take it." Soobin says without a second thought.

We entered the room and I felt nervous to be sleeping in the same room as Soobin.. Alone. To my surprise, one king-size bed. My cheeks blushed slightly and I stand in the entrance as Soobin walks into the room.

"How are you so calm?!" I look at him.

"Because-" He laid on the floor.

"No way. If anything, I'm sleeping on the floor!" I lay down next to him to protest.

"Stop Seo-ah. Get up." He lightly pushes my shoulder, telling me to get up.

"You get up!" I push him right back.

We both sigh and lay on the floor for several seconds. 

"This is kinda gross," I say while looking at a couple of crumbs on the ground. 

We both get up off the floor and sit on the wooden chairs that were also in the room. 

"So.. I have to shower.. But I don't have a spare change of clothes." I awkwardly say.

"That reminds me! I keep some spares in the car. I'll go get it." Soobin ran out to his car and brought back some clean clothes for the both of us. "You go first." He hands me a set of clothes.

The cold water felt refreshing after a hot day like today. I thought back on the entire day and how crazy everything was. I kissed Soobin. Soobin is the masked guy. We like each other. My mind explodes from all this information. It was almost too much to process..  I turned off the water, dried myself off, and took a look at the pile of clothes Soobin brought for me- a pair of gray sweats and a white oversized short-sleeved. It was a little big on me but with I was able to tighten the strings on the pants so they weren't too obnoxious. I stepped out of the bathroom and saw Soobin returning with a bag of snacks and drinks. 

"Where did you go?" I looked at the bag.

"The convenience store in the area. I was hungry." I can see a smile form on his face as his eyes trail up my body, peering at his clothes.

"My turn!" He says and heads into the bathroom. I hear the shower turn on and I lay on the bed. I turn the tv on and saw a new episode of the kdrama I had watched with Beomgyu that night. I hope he's doing well.. I should ask Soobin how they are all doing. I continue watching and start eating the snacks that Soobin brought back. He soon joined me in bed watching the drama and eating the snacks. We finished the snacks and tried to watch the rest of the drama but I could tell my eyes were getting heavier and heavier.

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I woke up feeling slightly hotter than normal. I realize, that my body was up against Soobin in his arms. So that wasn't a dream last night.. Got it. I try to get out of his grip but his sleepy body seemed determined to keep me in his grasp. I try once more-

"Stay like this.." He mumbles half asleep.

I listen to his request and snuggle right back into his arms. 

Gosh.. How can he have this effect on me?