A Fangirl's Secret/ Soobin

Bitter/6

[Back at the hotel]

Seo-ah's POV

I paced the room, feeling anxious. Soobin hadn't returned to the restaurant after he chased after the photographer so I decided to make my way back to the hotel. I had so many questions about the situation but without him here to ask them, I decide to call Ha-Yun for feedback.

"Hey Seo, what's going on?" She looks at me worried.

"Soobin and I held hands today. I'm so confused Yunnie. I don't know how he feels or even how I feel entirely."

"Seo- Take a breath and tell me the whole story.." And I proceed to explain everything to her.

"Sounds to me that you both like each other but obviously it's complicated. I mean you're his fan and he's a K-pop idol. Imagine from his side his doubts as well. He may be just as afraid to accept it, especially with not even knowing how you truly feel." Ha-Yun explains to me her thesis on the situation. I nod at her explanation. It makes sense.

"And to make matters worse, someone took a picture of us.." I sigh in frustration.

"I know the situation isn't too great right now but I'm sure this happened for a reason. I think you should stop stressing over it until he comes to talk with you, okay?" Ha-Yun says.

"You're right. I should rest a bit anyways. I have a big day tomorrow." I cut the conversation short and we say our goodbyes.

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I wake up a bit earlier and decide to walk to a cafe down the street from the hotel room. I walk into the cafe and order a Matcha Latte. I sit down outside and sip on my latte, admiring the beautiful sight of Japan. I decide once I'm done with my latte, that I'd check out some of the trails along Minoo Park. I head back to the hotel and changed into some comfortable hiking clothes and head on my way. I made it to the beginning of the trails and frown as I feel sudden drops of rain hit my face. I sigh in defeat as I start making my way back to the hotel. The rain started pouring harder as I walked back. I quickened my pace, but not enough to keep myself dry. By the time I reached the doors, I was soaked. Making my way to the room, I see someone standing at my door, hesitating to knock. I make my way to the door and confirm my suspicions- It's Soobin.

"Hi." I say while looking at him. "Did you want to come in?"

He stops and looks at me, almost concerned before removing his jacket and placing it on top of me. "Were you out in the rain just now?"

"Yes. I tried to go hiking but the weather had other plans for me." I laugh.

I decide to open the door and motion him inside. "Come in."

He makes his way in and turns to face me. "I wanted to talk with you. I don't know how to say this but.." He pauses. "Yesterday was a mistake. We shouldn't continue with whatever that was.."

I frown at him. "Seems like you make a lot of mistakes.. Listen I don't like being messed with like this. I understand I'm a nobody to you, but I'm still a human with feelings." 

"I understand you may see it that way but-" I cut him off, feeling frustrated.

"Honestly Soobin, I don't want you here with me right now, and to make things easier, let's not see each other unnecessarily for the rest of the trip."

"That would be best." He agrees with me, stinging my chest with hurt.

"By the way- Did you catch the photographer-" I ask him hesitantly before he heads out the door.

"No.. But I don't see anything posted so let's leave it at that."

-----

I sip on the coffee I got this afternoon at a new cafe and made a disgusted face at the taste of it. So bitter.. I throw the rest of it away, just as Soobin had done with our- hmm.. Whatever that was. I make my way back to the trails for attempt #2 of hiking and was able to pick a trail that had several streams and budding Cherry Blossoms. I sit on the bench and place my headphones on, listening to 'Off My Face' Cover sung by Heeseung. I know it's stupid but I feel my eyes start tearing up. I cover my face with my hands and start sobbing. I couldn't even tell who I was crying about at this point.

To protect myself from further embarrassment, I went back to the hotel room and washed my face with cold water. My eyes were puffier than ever. I laid in bed and watched a Korean drama to try and take my mind off of him. I hear a knock at my door and expect it to be the wings that I ordered but instead, it was Beomgyu holding the delivery bag in hand.

"Are you delivering my order?" I laugh slightly.

"Well I thought I'd come and check if you wanted to practice Blue Spring together, but if you need me to, I can come back.." He says, noticing my puffy eyes.

"Do you want some wings?" I offer.

"Always! May I come in Seo-ah?" Beomgyu smiles brightly. 

I nod and he comes inside, noticing a drama playing on the tv. "I love this drama!" He smiles.

"We can watch it and eat some wings if you have some time." I once again modify the offer.

"Only if we grab some beer for the wings." He bargains.

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We both giggle drunkenly at the screen and then at each other. What are we laughing about? Oh who cares. I continue to laugh with him. 

"Seo-ah. Do you know something?" He looks at me.

"I-uh knoww aa lot." I smile with my eyes closed.

"But this thing is a secret that Soobin has and he said it was a secret that maybe you don't know." He slurs his words.

"Soobin..nn haas manny seccreeets." I feel the beer making me dizzy. Suddenly the urge to vomit was building inside. I crawl to the bathroom and start throwing up. I need to stop drinking.

Several minutes went by and I hear Beomgyu make his way to the door, giggling loudly. He unlocks the door and in comes rushing Soobin who holds my hair back as I feel another urge start to build up.