wild star| ongoing

forty-six

CHAPTER 46:
April 1st, 2016
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The funeral had an eerie quality to it. It felt as though she was trapped in a surreal dream. At times, she couldn't help but pinch herself, desperately hoping that she would awaken from this nightmarish reality, but that moment never arrived. Everything appeared hazy and indistinct, the voices around her melding into an incessant drone, and each step she took toward the casket seemed burdensome. To maintain her balance, Teddy had to firmly clutch her arm.

As she gazed at her son's small face, she felt no emotions welling up inside her. He resembled a lifeless doll, his existence almost unreal. Even when her fingers brushed against his pallid cheek, he felt strangely artificial. The reality of his passing didn't seem to register.

She sat through the speech from the pastor and the eulogy from Veronica. And when it had reached her turn to say a few words to the small crowd of people who had gathered to bid River farewell, she stood up on the little stage, unsure of what to say. She saw Teddy in the front row, nodding encouragingly. Beside him sat Keith, pale and sickly-looking, his eyes darting around the room. Veronica was to his right, sobbing profusely into her handkerchief. Brandy's parents sat in the row behind them, Irene's eyes moist and Ronnie's jaw clenched. The other few faces she failed to recognize were probably friends of Veronica's. 

"Uh..." The microphone's feedback rang through the room. "I... I don't... I don't know what to say, honestly. River... River, he... it was a stupid mistake, the way he died... it was..." She gulped, meeting Keith's eyes, but looked away quickly. "He was... he was a really sweet kid and... I really loved him. He was my... uh... he was my..."

He was my son, she wanted to say. He was my baby and they took him from me. 

However, she abruptly fled the stage, rushing out of the hall with a hand tightly covering her mouth. She hastened to reach the nearest trash bin, where she retched and vomited. 

She sensed a presence behind her, a hand gently holding her hair back as she expelled the contents of her stomach. Once she finished retching, she turned around, anticipating Teddy's comforting presence, but instead, she was met with Keith's apologetic expression.

"Brandy..." he began.

She staggered back against the wall, her heart stuck in her throat, and her bones quivering. "Stay away from me."

He attempted to reach out to her, but she evaded his touch. "Please, Brandy... please, let me explain..."

"You killed him," she accused, River's image flooding her mind-not his cold, lifeless face, but the memories of his smile and laughter, the last few cherished moments she had with him. "You killed my baby."

"It was an accident, Brandy," he pleaded desperately, hoping for her understanding. "I didn't know he was allergic-"

"You didn't know," she repeated, her knees giving way as she collapsed onto the carpeted floor, burying her face in her trembling hands. "He's gone because you didn't know..."

Suddenly, an inexplicable laughter bubbled up within her.

Keith stood there, observing her laughter with uncertainty, unsure of how to respond. "Brandy... I'm deeply sorry. Truly, I am," he murmured, his voice filled with remorse. However, she vehemently shook her head, as though in denial of River's passing, as though hoping that this whole tragic situation was nothing more than a product of her imagination.

"You're sorry?" Brandy's voice escalated into a furious yell, her eyes burning with anger and despair. "River was your son too! And you didn't even bother to know his allergies, Keith! You didn't care enough to protect him! And don't even get me started on how you treated us before this! You were abusive, Keith! You hurt us, and now our son is gone because of your stupid ego and your stupid fucking mistake, you stupid son of a bitch!"