ONLY ON CAMERA | JUDE BELLINGHAM

052.

— CHAPTER FIFTY TWO
❝AM I MEANT TO STAY?❞

— JUDE —

IT'S ALL over in a few days. The month we have left has run down and now there's a matter of days left until the contract is over.

Since Harmony's birthday trip four weeks ago, we've both been distant. We've only been together when we had an event and there was barely any. I've seen her a total of two times in the last four weeks. We haven't texted, haven't called. Nothing at all.

I've missed her like crazy. At my games. Sitting in the passenger seat of my car while we go on drives. Hanging with Gio and Chloe.

I got an earful from Chloe when we got back from the trip. Still get an earful from her everyday. She reminds me daily how the times running down and if I don't say anything now it'll be too late. That it's not as complicated as I'm making it that she'd understand that I'm not ready but at least tell her I love her.

It makes sense. And it seems all so easy. And then my brain does this weird thing that makes me doubt everything everyone's saying and I start to think negatively again.

I'm on my way to her now. She texted me to come and pick up my hoodie I gave her three months ago. On one of our little midnight drives that became a tradition, she got cold. So I gave her my hoodie. She looked so cute in it. Told her to keep it. Guess now there's no use for it.

I feel sick as I stand outside her door. So many things in my head. So much I want to tell her. I ring the doorbell and instantly she opens the door. I've missed her face. Her gorgeous perfect face that I absolutely adore. That I could stare at forever.

"Hi, come in." She says stepping aside to let me in. Not even looking me in the eye.

"Hey. Thanks." I shoot her a small smile before I walk in.

Her apartments the same as I remember it. More plants though. I spot Aussie, still going strong. Happy she still has it.

"Still have Aussie then." I comment taking a seat on the couch.

"Yep." She says shortly.

"Good. I'm glad." I say awkwardly. I just want conversation with her. About anything.

She doesn't respond or continue on the conversation she just nods.

"I'll get your hoodie." She says walking into her room

"Okay." I nod.

She returns, hoodie in hand. Comes over and gives it to me. I go to take it, look at the ring I bought her that's still on her finger. Think it's a good sign. She still wears it. Smile a little at seeing it still on her finger. A piece of me still attached to her.

She catches my eyes looking at her ring. Drops the hoodie into my hand and then fiddles with the ring so her fingers are covering it.

"Thanks." I say. Stand to my feet. Trying to drag out this interaction as long as possible until I'm ready to say what I need to say to her. Have to tell her.

I walk to her door slowly. She follows. Stand there at it and stare at her. Look around her apartment because it's the last time I'm going to see it and the last time she's going to be there.