Race to the Top

Chapter 36

-Jackson-
Knock knock
I sigh and turn off the TV before slowly dragging myself to the door. I can see Alex's concerned face through the peephole.
I open the door but don't say anything.
"Are you for real dude? You're dodging my calls now? Come on, let me in," he says as he pushes past me.
Alex sits on the chair near my couch and I plop down on the same couch cushion with my imprint on it.
"It's been three days Jackson, I know you are...upset but you can't just completely shut down like this," he says.
I rub my face with my hand, there's more stubble than I realize.
"I know, I just don't know what to do. She hasn't tried to contact me and she hasn't been at work. I don't want to go to her apartment or the bar. She made it clear she wants me to leave her alone," I say.
"Ooooor she doesn't want to admit she's wrong and she's waiting for you to say sorry first," he says.
"Why should I apologize? I'm not the one running away to another fucking country because I'm afraid of feeling something."
"Didn't you say she's been through a lot? Like, in life?"
"Well yeah, but--"
"Don't you think that may cause a person to be a little, I dunno, distant? A little harder to break through to?"
"How much more am I supposed to put myself out there Alex? Plus, you don't know her like I do, the more I try to get her to stay, the more she'll want to leave," I say. "It shouldn't be this hard."
"Says who? Who said this is easy? No one Jackson. You think it's been all roses for Andrea and I? Hell no, you gotta work at that shit."
"Yeah, well I guess I don't want to work anymore."
He sighs.
"I guess what you need to ask yourself is, are you fine with just moving on at this point? Or do you want to try one more time? Look, I will support whatever you want to do, but you gotta do something. Whether that's picking your ass up and moving on or chasing this woman all over Europe for one last shot is up to you. But this," he gestures to me, a pile of depression with a five o'clock shadow. "--is not who you are."
There's a pause as I consider his words.
"Besides, you promised you'd be at the proposal tonight. I need you man," he pleads.
"Shit, I totally forgot that was tonight. Everything else is set? The photographer I hired confirmed right?"
Well, the photographer Ginger researched and insisted I hire.
"Yes, she's good to go. Now go shower for the love of god and get dressed. I'm going to meet Andrea in a few hours and I need some liquid courage," he says.
I drag myself off the couch and make my way to the bathroom. Surprisingly, the hot water does wonders for my energy levels which have pretty much bottomed out since Ginger stormed out of my apartment. After several minutes of just letting the water run over me, I scrub myself and then get out and shave in the mirror.
My mind wanders to Ginger the entire time. Is Alex right? Is she waiting for me reach out to her? God knows she's the most stubborn creature I've ever met. I suppose, if nothing else, we should talk. I definitely can't leave things between us like this.
By the time I'm picking out what to wear, I have decided I'm going to see her. After the proposal, I'm going to Finn's to find Ginger, to make her talk to me. If she's not there, I'll go to her apartment or at least get some intel from Simon. He must know where she's at, physically or mentally, right now.
******
A little while later, Alex and I are sipping bourbon at a bar on my block that I've literally never been to.
"So are you nervous?" I ask.
Alex finishes his sip.
"I was this morning, but I'm feeling much better now," he says with a smile.
I smile back. It feels good to genuinely smile for the first time in days.
"So," Alex says. "What are you gonna say?"
I blow out the breath from my lungs.
"Shit, ya know, I'm not sure. I haven't thought that far ahead yet."
"Well, how do you feel? Like, about her?"
I pause as I think about it. I think about Ginger softly snoring or throwing back whiskey or pinching her eyebrow when she's nervous. I think about her freckled skin and how gorgeous she looks even when she's pissed off 90% of the time. I think about how she doesn't fall for anyone's shit. Not even Callum's. Sure, she's nice to him, but she doesn't fall at anyone's feet. In fact, they all fall at hers.
"Fuck. I love her."
I say it like I'm admitting it to myself. Like I'm just now realizing it. Because I am.
"Shit Alex, I love her. Why didn't you tell me?!"
"I thought you knew!" Alex chuckles.
"Oh my god, I love her, I love Ginger."
"Welcome to the club buddy."
"Now I definitely have to find her tonight."
"Where would she normally be on a Saturday?" Alex asks as he finishes his drink.
"Well, she normally does kick boxing in the morning, she meets up with her uncle at some point, and she goes to the bar. I only know where one of those three are at so I'll start there," I say. Finally my eyes snap back to Alex and I clap him on the shoulder. "But first, let's get you engaged."
I finish my drink and we head out together.
*****
The proposal is perfect. Alex and I spent a few hours following Andrea around the city as she found clues that led her to all the places that hold meaning to them: the salon, the flower market, the coffee shop, where they had their first real date. She grinned from ear to ear as she left each place and she was right on schedule to meet Alex on the roof of the Warrick Building.
Ginger and I (mainly Ginger) had hired a crew to create an incredible rooftop scene complete with lights, candles, flowers. It was glittery and chic without being over the top. The photographer captured everything from Andrea's first reaction to Alex actually getting down on one knee. Ginger really outdid herself on this one.
A few mutual friends as well as Andrea's family were nearby to celebrate with us. We all clapped, cheered and popped champagne bottles. It was truly a joyous occasion.
After a celebratory drink, Alex approached me and shook my hand. His eyes were still gleaming with happiness and tears.
"Congrats man, I'm so happy for you," I say.
"I could not have done this without you," he says. "Please, go find Ginger and after you make up, give her a heartfelt thank you from me."
My smile widens.
"You got it."
*****
I practically throw open the bar door but I don't see a familiar mop of red hair. Simon raises his eyebrows as he spots me and then Nadia spins in her seat.
"Oh shit," she says as her eyes land on me.
"Where is she? Is she here?"
I look around again but don't see her. Nadia looks sad and glances at Simon.
"She's...not here."
"So she's home? With Jay? Where is she?" I'm annoyed that they're not answering right away.
"She's in Scotland."
I freeze.
"What?!"
"She left a few days ago."
"But, no, Atwood—"
"They don't know yet. She's just going for a visit but—"
Nadia bites her lip and looks at Simon again who shrugs.
"She's fixin to take the job," Simon says sadly.
"What?! No!"
I run my hands through my hair.
"There was no talking her out of it, she's convinced herself she can't pass it up," Nadia says.
I gently sit on the stool next to her. Simon automatically pours me a whiskey and places it in front of me.
"Why?"
Nadia shrugs.
"She said she didn't want to have any regrets. And she can always return if it doesn't work out."
"Fuck."
"My thoughts exactly," Nadia says as she downs the rest of her drink. "Did you try messaging her? Calling?"
I shake my head and finish my whiskey.
"No, the things I have to say, she needs to hear them in person."
We all pause.
"I better go pack."
Nadia and Simon look at me like I'm crazy.
"What? Where are you going?"
"I guess I'm going to Scotland."
They exchange a glance and I see a glimpse of a smirk from each of them.
"Well shit, good luck Jackson," Simon says.
Nadia stands up and gives me a hug.
"Go get our girl."