Race to the Top

Chapter 22

-Ginger-
Jackson's lips barely move against mine. I can feel him holding back, but I can also feel his hunger and need. Suddenly, it's like we both snap out of it as quickly as we fell into it.
We pull apart and Jackson stands up gently placing my foot on the bed and starts pacing while running his hand through his hair.
My fingers rest on my slightly parted lips like they acted without my permission.
"I'm sorry Jackson," I say.
"No I'm sorry, I...shouldn't have done that."
He sounds conflicted and regretful. My stomach twists.
"Right, um, well, I should get ready for bed," I say.
I go to stand up, completely forgetting about my ankle and try to walk away on it. The pain radiates through it as soon as I put any weight on it.
"Ow, dammit!"
"Shit, here let me help!"
"Oh no no, that's okay!" I panic at the thought of Jackson's hands on me again and bend over to hold my ankle right as Jackson bends over to help me up. Our heads knock into each other with a loud thud.
"Fuck!" I say holding my head.
"Shit! Sorry!" Jackson is holding his head. We both stand up and look at each other, holding our throbbing heads. Suddenly, the tension fractures and we both burst out laughing.
"Oh my god, what is the matter with us?!" I say, still shrieking with laughter.
"I have no idea!" Jackson says wiping tears from under his eyes.
We finally collect ourselves and Jackson looks at me with his hands on his hips.
"How about I just help you to the bathroom so you can get dressed and then help you back to the bed. After that you're on your own." I look up at him, he has a big, easy smile on his face. His hair is still messed up from running a hand through it earlier. God, he's fucking adorable.
Finally, I smile and give a small nod.
"Sure, let me just grab my clothes," I go to crawl across the bed.
"No no, don't move, here," Jackson lifts my suitcase off the floor and puts it on the bed next to me.
"Oh, thanks," I rifle through my clothes to find my sleeping shirt and a pair of shorts.
I stand up on my good foot and Jackson carries me to the bathroom and sets me down gently.
"Just let me know when, er, you are ready," he says and gently closes the door behind him.
I blow the breath out that I was holding.
What the hell just happened?
I brace my hands on the counter and look at myself in the mirror, trying to sort through my feelings. Finally, I start washing my face and brushing my teeth. I manage to slip out of my dress and decide to leave my bra on under my t-shirt since Jackson will be carrying me again. God, this whole this is so weird. What the fuck was I thinking? I could've fucked this all up. But damn, it felt good. I shake my head to get rid of that thought.
Finally, I manage to pull my shorts on and grab my dress. I open the door and hop out. Jackson is standing at the closet and is next to me in a few steps, he scoops me up with ease. I laugh to myself about how many times already that I've been in Jackson's arms.
He places me on my bed again and slides a pillow under my ankle before placing the ice pack back on it.
"I put some Advil and a bottle of water on your nightstand," he says as he grabs his clothes and heads into the bathroom. Once the door closes, I grab the remote and turn on the tv before taking the Advil. I glance at the bathroom door and pinch my eyebrow.
This is going to be a long trip.
********
The next day, we're both trying to act relatively normal but there's an air of awkwardness. Jackson avoids looking me directly in the eyes and, frankly, I hate it. The last few days have been sprinkled with moments of lingering light touches and comfortable silences but now I feel his obvious sidesteps and retreat. While I understand his tactic, and am probably participating myself, it also makes my stomach feel queasy. I don't want things to be weird with Jackson, our friendship is important to me. I find comfort in the thought of Jackson's fingers and hands and mouth not holding back, not feeling reservation. Guilt settles on me for allowing these thoughts.
Ugh, why? Why did I lean in? Why couldn't I keep my stupid fucking feelings bottled up where they were?
Jackson brought kinesthetic tape with him and taped up my ankle before we head out for the shoot. It definitely felt better but was still tender and swollen. Honestly, the hiking boots helped as well.
I was worried that the photo shoot would be awkward, that our little slip up would bleed into our project but honestly, it provided a much-needed distraction. We were able to secure several beautiful photos and I feel good about what we accomplished. We're staying at Wuksachi for one more night before setting out for our next stop on the trip: Grand Canyon National Park.
Unfortunately, it would take nearly 10 hours to drive to the Grand Canyon from Sequoia so we had to allot an entire day getting there. An entire day, with Jackson, in the car, alone.
I pinch my eyebrow.
"What's wrong?"
We're back in our room for the evening and Jackson looks at me with worry.
"Oh, er, nothing," I say dropping my hand and folding my arms in front of me. God, am I that transparent?
"How's the ankle?" He asks.
"Better," I say.
"Good. Hey, I'm going to go for a short run," Jackson says. He starts sorting through his clothes.
"Really?" I ask.
He holds my gaze for the first time all day and I see his signature smirk firmly in place. It relaxes me to see.
"I mean, there's no gym here so...yeah," he says. "I thought maybe I could pick up some dinner from the restaurant on my way back. Does that sound good to you?"
"Oh sure," I say. We had all agreed to just fend for ourselves for dinner this evening before our long travel day tomorrow. I look up the menu and tell Jackson what I want.
"Great, I'll be back in a bit."
I flip through the channels for a few minutes, my ankle is still propped up on a pillow with a fresh ice pack. Finally, after Jackson's been gone for a few minutes, I pick up my phone and dial.
"Hey babe! How are you?"
It's so good to hear Nadia's voice, I miss her and Simon and Jay like crazy.
"Hi, I'm...fine, how are you?"
"Whoa, what's wrong?"
I laugh. I can't hide anything from this woman.
"Well...ugh, I don't know where to start. Something...happened."
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, of course. I twisted my ankle yesterday and, well, while Jackson was tending to it...we sorta...kissed."
"WOOOOOOOOO!"
I hear Nadia let out a huge howl. I hold the phone away from my ear.
"Fucking tell me everything right now!"
"That's it! I swear. And frankly, it's been hella awkward ever since and I fucking hate it. I feel so stupid."
"Stop," Nadia says firmly. "Start from the beginning, what exactly happened."
I give Nadia a play-by-play of the entire scenario.
Suddenly, I hear some voices in the background.
"What happened?" Simon's familiar Irish accent comes through in the background.
"Ginger and Jackson kissed."
"Nadia!"
"What? It's Simon! I just got to the bar. There's no one here, I'm going to put you on speaker."
I sigh.
"So, what do I do now? I wish we could just go back to the way things were before but they will eventually right?"
"Is that what you want Gigi?" Simon asks.
My heart flip flops.
"I mean, yeah, it's either that or this."
"Ooooor, you two get together," Nadia says.
I hadn't really given it much thought. I'd spent so much time denying my feelings or waiting for them to change again. But I couldn't right? We were co-workers, and friends, and if it didn't work out, I would hate to not have Jackson in my life.
All these revelations were flying at me quickly.
"Ginge?"
"Yeah, sorry, I just, ugh my mind is racing."
"Listen babe, I really think the first thing you need to do is talk to Jackson. You're both adults, I think you can have a mature conversation about this and maybe getting it out there will make you feel better until you can figure out what you want to do."
"Wow, that's like the most responsible thing I've ever heard you say," I laugh.
"I mean, I would've already fucked him but you've ixnayed that already," Nadia says and I can hear her smile come through.
"Well, we have a long travel day tomorrow, maybe when we get into the Grand Canyon," I say. "Anyway, fuck, what's up with you guys? I miss you."
"We miss you too, turns out the bar is not as exciting without you," Nadia says. "Oh! And guess who hit up Simon! That girl from the club!" 
"Ooooo Si! You gotta girlfriend?"
I hear Simon's laugh and can't help but smile.
"No but we are going out again this weekend."
"Yeah ya are!" Nadia says.
"Wow, you have to keep me posted!"
We chat for a few more minutes. It feels so good to talk to them and the knot in my stomach loosens for the first time all day.
A little while later, Jackson returns with our food looking sweaty and notably more relaxed. He sets the food on my bed.
"I'm going to take a quick shower, do you need anything else?"
"No I'm good thanks," I say smiling up at him. He turns his back to me and yanks his shirt off. I try not to admire his back but I can't help it. He grabs a few clothes and heads into the bathroom.
Eventually, he emerges with wet hair and fresh sweats on.
"How is it?"
"Huh?"
"Your wrap? I got the same thing as you," he says.
"Oh, uh, it's good," I say.
I hand him his food and he sits down on his bed and starts eating. I put another basketball game on and we're silent while we eat.
"Mmm this is good, I'm just going to get whatever you get from now on," Jackson says and I chuckle. He pauses. "So have you checked in with the gang lately?"
"You mean Simon and Nadia?"
"Yeah."
I feel my cheeks heat up as if he heard my call to them earlier.
"Oh uh yeah, they're good," I say. "Simon has a date!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, a super cute, tall woman named Cassidy."
Jackson shakes his head.
"Ooof meeting you and Nadia for the first time must be intimidating."
"Well, we already kinda met her, she was at the  club last weekend."
We pause.
"So you think we're intimidating huh?"
He chuckles.
"I mean, have you seen you two?"
I blush. I glance sideways at him, attempting to act on the courage bubbling up in my chest.
"Hey, Jackson?"
He looks at me.
"Yeah?"
I briefly pause.
"When do you want to leave tomorrow?"