Race to the Top

Chapter 34

-Ginger-
I wake up around 5am in Jackson's apartment.
I try to go back to sleep by I can't seem to turn my brain off.
I'm always more relaxed with him, even the sounds of his heavy breathing soothes me, but I have so much on my mind.
His apartment was a big surprise. I don't know why, but I kind of thought of him as a bit of a frat boy. His place oozes sophistication with clean lines, leather, and accents of soft navy blues strategically placed everywhere. His kitchen, while clearly used regularly is spotless with sleek cabinets and black granite. It even smells clean and masculine, like aftershave.
I try switching positions again before finally rolling over and picking up my phone. As I scroll through my emails, my heart stops. There is an email from Fiona, Callum's assistant. The subject line reads "Scotland."
Shit.
Am I really considering this? Am I actually going to go to Scotland? A part of me just didn't want to say no and disappoint Callum. But deep down inside of me I knew if I said no and nothing changed at Atwood, I would hate myself for it. What if I woke up five years from now and was in the exact same position professionally? And frankly, I would hope Jackson would be happy for doing the right thing for myself professionally. But for some reason, I know he wouldn't see it that way. That's why I didn't tell him. Can I really be with someone who I don't trust to have my best interests at heart?
I slide out of Jackson's bed. He stirs but doesn't wake.
In his kitchen, I read the email over and over. They've given me three options for when I want to leave, one is tomorrow. I think about what I would say to Gerald and Liam about why I'm suddenly leaving for a week. God knows I've saved up enough sick time and vacation to leave for a few months but I don't want them to think anything is wrong and yet, I don't want to lie.
Ugh, I shouldn't have agreed to this.
Plus, what am I going to tell Jackson? I certainly can't lie to him but he'll be understandably suspicious if I ghost him for a week.
I take a few deep breaths and close my email on my phone before I start looking for coffee. After opening several cupboards, I finally locate the coffee. Just as I'm opening it, a voice startles me.
"Are you going through my kitchen?"
"Oh! God! Jackson, you scared me!"
I look over and see Jackson walking towards me, he's only in his boxers so his chiseled body is on display. His hair is sticking up in random places and his eyes are still a little sleepy. Fuck, he's adorable.
He slides his arms around me and pulls me in for a kiss. I resist at first because I smell and morning breath and all those other things but then I melt quickly and easily.
"Mmmm, you're up early," he says as he releases me and starts to make the coffee.
"I couldn't sleep in any longer, I think it's from getting up so early during the trip," I say.
"Right, we were pretty much waking up around 3am local time there."
We're quiet for a minute as the coffee pot begins to brew.
"You okay?"
I snap out of my trance and look at Jackson. He tilts his head at me but looks slightly concerned. I need to get this over with. Maybe he won't be pissed?
I take a deep breath and blow it out.
"I got an email from Callum."
"Oh about the final shoot location? He said–"
"No, Jackson, listen. He...offered me a job."
Jackson is silent for a moment, then his brow furrows.
"What?"
"Chief Marketing Officer. Of Adair Knives. In Scotland."
He laughs but I can tell it isn't real. It's a you're-fucking-joking laugh.
"What did you say?"
"I didn't say anything. He just asked me to consider it. He wants me to come to Scotland to see the office and discuss details."
Jackson runs his hand through his hair.
"Okay, I mean, do you think it's legit?"
"What do you mean?"
Jackson let's out another fake chuckle.
"I mean, come one Ginger, we all know what Callum really wants."
I can't stop it before the anger bubbles up from my chest and spews out of me.
"Oh yeah? And what would that be Jackson?"
"Please, he's used to getting everything he wants and he obviously wants you. He couldn't get you the old fashioned way so he's doing what he does with everything else in his life, he's throwing money at you."
"Oh, so that's the only reason someone would want to offer me a job?! To fuck me?! Is that what you're saying?!"
I'm suddenly so fucking angry I can barely see straight but Jackson doesn't back down.
"This guy barely knows you Ginger, why would he offer you a position in another country without more first hand knowledge of your work? Think this through."
He reaches for my hand but I snatch it away and fold it across my chest.
"No, you know what I think? I think you're jealous. I think you've been jealous of Callum this whole time and the idea of me getting further in my career despite being a woman drives you nuts."
His face twists in anger and pain. That might have been a little too far.
"Yeah? That's what you think of me huh?"
I can't handle looking at his face anymore and the pain I put there. I storm off towards the bedroom.
I start throwing on my clothes from the night before.
"Where are you going?" Jackson asks as I stomp out of the bedroom towards my bags by the front door.
"Home, where I belong."
He approaches me cautiously yet swiftly as I reach for the door. He grabs my arm to stop me.
"It's dark out still, you can't just go walking home in the dark."
I turn to him.
"I can do whatever I want. Believe it or not, I survived just fucking fine before you came along and tried to save me Jackson. Turns out, I don't need you."
The hurt that crosses his face feels like it stabs me in the heart but I press on. I grab all my stuff, open the door, and shut it hard behind me.
In the elevator, on the way down from his 20th floor apartment, I respond to Fiona's email with tears in my eyes.
Hi Fiona, I'd like to leave tomorrow.