𝗗𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗗𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀

48 - Won't Let Go.

My bedroom was consumed by darkness, a darkness I willingly embraced. The glow of a few lamps would not be enough to dispel the inner darkness clouding my thoughts and emotions. I felt lost, as though my life had crumbled to pieces around me. My entire existence and everything I had once known and understood, were all now subjects of my own doubts. I found myself clinging to nothing but the darkness I was all too familiar with. Because unlike everything else, this darkness was the only constant, it never judged me, it was always there, welcoming me back each time I strayed.

As I savored my cigar, its smoke cloaking me in a whirl of cloudy thoughts, Yasenia burst into the room, a storm brewing in her eyes. My Yasenia, her fiery spirit was one of the many reasons I loved her.

The repercussions of my decision was reflected in the quiver of her voice, and seen in the pained expressions crossing her face. I was well aware it was only a matter of time before she found out about my initiation.

"Of course you'd take the easiest path!" she roared. "Staying in the filth and crime was always the easiest option for you, Alessandro! That doesn't take courage; it's the path of least resistance!" she railed at me, tears streaming down her face. Her hands clenched at her sides as she accused me, the veins in her hands popping in her fury.

Her accusations rendered me speechless for the first time. They felt so raw, so real.

"Why don't you have the guts to leave? How can you ever leave now?" she spat, her big brown eyes piercing into me. "You could've been something more, Alessandro, something different than just another monster!"

"I'm not that..." I stuttered, but she cut me short.

"No, you are just like them!" she told me, her eyes reflecting nothing but cold disappointment. "What's so appealing about the darkness that keeps drawing you in? What kind of charm does that life have for you that our life together could not match?"

I tried to comfort her, tried to pull her into my arms, but she recoiled. "Yasenia..." My voice trailed off. I was grasping for words, and she wouldn't let me find them.

She took a moment to gather her thoughts before landing the final blow. "It was so easy for you to make that decision because it doesn't require anything more than the bare minimum. No change, no courage, just blind obedience. Well, let me tell you, Alessandro, those shadows will swallow you up one day."

With those harsh words still ringing in the air, she turned her back and stormed out, the slamming door echoing behind her.

Her words hit harder than any bullet could.

Standing there alone, consumed by a fog of now meaningless thoughts, I felt a piece of me wither and die.