In A Relationship With Enhypen Jay [COMPLETED]

26 | The Way I Loved You

"Ma'am, are you ignoring Jay?"

I paused, looked up at Liam, gave him my best poker face, hoping it would shut his curious mind. Instead of lowering his eyes, he met my stare head on, demanding answer silently. Someday, I would jump off the roof for becoming this person who wasn't scary enough for people now. All because of Jay. Urgh.

"Why are you asking?" I went back to read the file.

"He has been asking about you." Liam cleared his throat. "How are you doing and if you're eating or not. He wouldn't have asked me this if you were talking to him."

I hummed, and turned the next page. I was not ignoring Jay. Okay, maybe little bit, but I really was busy with work. The company had to be kept afloat and since my dearest brother Kevin was more focused on the matter of hearts rather than business, I had to take the command. Couldn't blame him. It was long time coming. I was more concerned about Chayoung because Kevin's decision was going to affect her the most.

"You know you've to stop doing this, Ara."

I closed the file with a snap. "Excuse me."

"I was your senior in university. I can take your name because right now, you really need some reality check." Liam placed his hands on the table. "I'm so sick of your self sabotaging behavior. You're mean to Kevin. You're mean to your step father. You're mean to your sister. Whoever has tried to show you affection, you've done enough damage so they won't even want to see your face."

"Do you enjoy doing this? Hurting people for loving you? Do you think only you're suffering in the world? Listen to me, Ara... Shit has happened to people. Bad or worst, shit has happened. Some of them chose to be bitter like you but some tried to be better. To not become the person who destroyed them. To be kind to others because no one was kind to them."

"I'm sorry to tell you but you're becoming bitter day by day, and why? For what? Because of your mother? You're fulfilling her purpose, Ara. She didn't want your parents' love child, you, happy. And, look at you! You're not happy. Not at all. You appreciate Kevin's humour, admire your step father, cares for your sister.... you're in love with Jay. Yet you choose to push them away. Why?"

I kept staring at the page, words jumbling around my blurred gaze. "Sunbae, you know me the best, don't you?" I raised my head and smiled at him. "Then do you know what I hate the most? Not being the first choice of someone. And, the irony is... I've never been someone's first choice. I was always second, third, fourth. Never first."

Liam frowned. "What are you talking about?"

I stood up. "My biological parents have no idea about my existence. My sister prefers her brother over me. My step father and Kevin loves each other before me. Only my mother is the one who chose me willingly... She might have not given me affection but she gave me financial security, best education and home. Everything. It's alright. Everyone can't have everything."

"Jay likes you."

I smiled. "He does. I know he does," I said but 'if his ex girlfriend came back into his life, he would go back to her' stayed silent. "But that isn't enough. We're two worlds apart."

"Those are just excuses."

I shrugged. "Whatever you want to believe."

Liam shook his head, leaned back, stood straight. "Ma'am, I'm asked to inform you that your friend Sunghoon is sick. If you want to visit him, today he's in his apartment, resting."

Back to business. I sighed. "Clear my schedule for one hour. I'll go and see him."

"It's 8 pm. Should I order you something?"