#NINETY.

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The day I leave.

I wake up early and get ready for my flight. My stomach was in knots and I felt like I could puke any second. My eyes were swollen from crying all night thinking about how that was going to be the last night I'd ever be in his house.

It really did feel like home here— or maybe that was just him.

I walk downstairs with my suitcase and see Nick sitting on the couch. His face was covered up by his hands and I could hear him softly, crying to himself.

Without hesitation, I walk up to him and bring his head into a tight hug.

"Fuck, sorry. I'm so weak." He sniffles.

"No, you're not." I reply, wiping away a tear that had rolled down my cheek. "This hurts really bad. If you weren't upset. I'd be kinda mad at you." I sadly, giggle.

He leans his head up to look at me. His eyes showed signs of him crying all night, too. "I don't want this. You know that, right?" He says, through a raw voice.

"I know." My voice was quite.

"I hate myself." He groans.

"Stop." I say, holding the sides of his face in my hands. I thumb away a tear of his. "We both know this is what needs to be done." I tell him.

He takes a deep breath and grips his chest. "I feel sick." He says.

"Me too." I sigh. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Me too." He leans his forehead onto my stomach. "I don't know if I can do this..."

"—You can."

He starts to fully release his emotions, completely breaking down into a sobbing mess. "I can't imagine coming home to this big empty house. Everything here reminds me of you now."

I sit on his lap and hug him tightly. I push my face into the crook of his neck and we both cry together.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Nick." I say, through a heavy flow of tears.

"I—I really don't think I can do it." He says, squeezing me hard as if he wasn't going to let go.

"You have to." I tell him.

"Please, just fucking stay with me." He begs, through red strained eyes.

"I can't do that." I whimper. "You know I can't."

"I'm so sorry, I'll treat you better. I'll be nicer.. I'll go to therapy if that's what you want. Just don't leave me, please." He stares at me with a quivering bottom lip.

"Nick.." I cry. "It's too late."

"Well, then move to Florida, but still be my girlfriend. I'll come visit you every bi-week and we can FaceTime constantly."

"—But I'm not your girlfriend, remember? We broke up." I tell him.

"Did we, though?" He stares at me.

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