I'm sorry

30. Realization

💭By Dreamer💭

3rd person POV.

Mr. Aizawa kept reading page after page, trauma after trauma. Until it was the end of the day when he heard the dorm door being opened. "Tch, fucking useless nerd forgot to lock the goddamn door!" Katsuki yelled as he entered his dorm room. Mr. Aizawa was seated at the kitchen table when Katsuki walked in. "Bakugo, your back from school early." Mr. Aizawa said suspiciously. Katsuki was confused as to why Mr. Aizawa was in his kitchen. "All Might send us home earlier, Why are you here?"  "I came here for a reason but I stayed for another, I came here to find more information about Izuku's situation but I stayed here to ask for your help." This confused Katsuki even more. "come take a seat" Aizawa said as he nodded his head towards the empty seat. 

Katsuki sat down and Mr. Aizawa wasted no time to start talking. "I noticed some changes in Izuku these last few weeks, Negative changes. I decided not to get involved with it at the time, but I heard today that Izuku gets bullied. So as a teacher it's my job to make sure the bullying stops, that's why I'm here but the things I found prove that Izuku's situation is way worse than I thought it was. I suppose you noticed tease changes too." Aizawa asked as he placed Izuku's notebook on the table. "Pfff, The nerd is fine. I don't get why you are so worried, No one else is." Katsuki answered. "I think that's exactly the problem, No one notices his pain. Come on Bakugo, you can't say you haven't noticed anything different?" 

Katsuki was quiet for a moment. He can't deny that Izuku isn't his cheery and smiley self anymore but that's nothing to worry about, right? Now that Katsuki gave it a little thought he noticed how much he missed Izuku's smile. As Katsuki pictured Izuku smiling his heart made a little jump in his chest. "Tch, even if he changed, I don't care. I hate him anyway." Katsuki said as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Why do you hate him?" Aizawa asked as he narrowed his eyes. "The hell should I know, He's just annoying. Even my body tells me to stay away from him. I get nervous whenever he's around and I feel sick when I look at him, And every time he looks me in the eye my heart feels weird I just fucking hate him so much I can't stand it." Katsuki explain and this time it was Aizawas turn to stay silent. 

"Bakugo, The things you feel it doesn't make you hate Izuku. It makes you love him, The feelings you just named are feelings you have when your in love with someone." Aizawa explained. Katsuki started laughing. "That's a bunch of bullshit." "But isn't that how you feel?" Katsuki fell silent. No way, He can't possibly love that stupid nerd, can he? Mr. Aizawa shoved the notebook Katsuki's way while the blonde stayed silent. "I want you to open this notebook and read a page out loud, any page is fine." Katsuki did what Aizawa asked him to do and opened the notebook.

Dear Diary

I get to share a dorm with Kacchan! I'm so happy and excited! Oh that's right I didn't tell you about Kacchan yet. Well Kacchan is this really cool guy from my class, his real name is actually Katsuki Bakugo but I call him Kacchan. He's good in everything and he's super handsome. I have known him since childhood, he was my best friend and I have known him for a very long time. He loves spicy food and going hiking in the mountains. He looks a lot like his mom and it's quite funny to see them bicker. He's just so great, if you haven't noticed yet I have a very big crush on him. No wait I think having a crush is a too little word for what I feel, Let's just say that I love him, very much... And I miss him. I miss the old Kacchan before he got his quirk. When he still wanted to play with me, when I didn't have to try so hard to keep up, when he didn't bully me. 

Katsuki took a deep breath before continuing to read. 

Kacchan hates me, I don't know why or what I ever did wrong but he hates me so much. I can see it when he looks at me with his ruby-red eyes, I can see all the hate and all the pain he wants to inflict on me. Every single day I try my best to do everything perfectly for him, I try my best to not annoy him but to be sweet and caring about him. But he never sees it as being nice he thinks that I'm looking down on him but I'm not, I would never do that. It's been like that ever since he found out I was quirkless. He started calling me names, weak, useless, ...  I don't blame him though, he's right, I completely understand. I wouldn't want to be friends with a loser either. Everything he tells me is true and everything he does to me I deserve. All the beatings, all the pain, all the scars, I deserve it all.

There were stains on the pages from Izuku's old tears from when he wrote it but fresh tears wettened the pages once again with newly fallen tears that rolled off Katsuki's cheeks. All this time he knew for sure he hated the greenette, that's why he did all those things to keep him away. His heart couldn't take it anymore. Tears rolled down his face as he remembered all the awful things he said to the poor boy, The poor boy that never did anything wrong to deserve all this pain. At the end of all those memories, there was only one thought left. 

What have I done?

Hiii, Dreamer here. Part 30 already!!

still a long way to go

What will Katsuki do now? Will he be good to Izuku or will he mess it up again?

Anyway have a great day alright, I love you all! Dreamer out ^-^