RWBY and JNPR Watch the Blood Gulch Chronicles

S1E15

Sarge: "Hold on a second, that ain't fair."

Church: " Not fair? Yeah, join the fricking club. I got shot by my own tank."

"And Caboose." Jaune said, chuckling.

Sheila: "Target locked."

"So even the machinery can be ghosts? Guess in this uni-show they can have feelings." Weiss quickly corrected.

"Woah! Weiss what were you about to say?" Ruby said.

"Nothing!"

"You were about to say universe!" Nora pointed out.

"It's only because you all keep talking about it! I meant to say show not universe." Weiss yelled.

"Sure you did Weiss." Yang said grinning.

Church: "Oh ha ha, very funny Sheila. Shut up. You know I still haven't forgiven you. I didn't say you could talk to me yet. Go there and get, go, get, go for the base. Shoo, shoo!"

Sheila hangs turret in shame and drives off. Cut to Grif and Simmons over Sarge's body in the real world, the picture all wavy and stuff

Grif: "Sarge! Don't you give up on me soldier, do you hear me? I'm ordering you!" Back to Sarge in the Spirit World

Sarge: "Who is that? Who's there?"

Church: "Looks like your guys are trying to save you."

Grif: "(hitting Sarge in the chest with the butt end of his gun) You gotta breathe, man! You gotta pull through! Come on, Sarge!"

Yang and Jaune laughed at that.

Sarge: "That is not the way you were trained to do that, Private!"

Church: "He can't hear you."

Simmons: "Grif, this isn't working. We have to try something else."

Church: "If he gives you mouth to mouth, I'm leaving."

"Mouth to mouth for a bullet through the head?" Blake said confused.

Simmons: "Maybe you should give him mouth to mouth."

Church: "I'm leaving."

Sarge: "I can't believe how hard they're trying to save me."

Church: "Why wouldn't they? I mean, my team didn't, but, why wouldn't yours?"

Sarge: "I thought they didn't like me."

"Awee that's kinda sad." Nora said.

"why would they like him? He's a terrible leader." Weiss said.

"How dare you!" Nora shouted in mock anger.

Church: "Aw, don't sell yourself short. I don't even know ya, and here I am about to guide you to Heaven for only five bucks."

"How generous." Blake said sarcastically.

Sarge: "Hold on, if you're an Angel, how come you ain't got no wings?"

Church: "Because nobody rang a bell, ah heh heh heh. Seriously, do you have the money or don't you?"

"Another reference we don't understand." Yang grumbled out. "I like the show but I hate not understanding these."

Sarge: "Oh I feel the worst about Grif. I always made fun of him. I never even told him, he was my son."

"What!?" A few of them shouted.

"I bet that's why he's so mean to him." Pyrrha said. "Because he wants him to be better, what backwards parenting."

Weiss nodded.

Church: "No way, the orange guy is your son?"

Sarge: "Naw, I just wanted to screw with him one last time. But now I'll never get that chance."

"Oh" Pyrrha said a little disappointed.

Grif: "He's breathing! We saved Sarge!"

Sarge: "I'm what?"

Church: "He's what?"

Sarge: "Well I'll be a monkey's... they saved me."

"Huh." Weiss muttered.

Church: "What? No, come back! We need to even the sides!"

Sarge: "Thanks for your help, wingless Angel fella! Will I remember any of this?"

Church: "Yes, but only if you give me two dollars!"

"What good is money going to do him? He's dead." Weiss asked.

"Ghost food?" Nora muttered.

"What food would ghosts eat?" Ruby said.

"You two sound like my old drunk friends." Yang mumbled.

"Yang! You told me you didn't drink!" Ruby shouted angrily.

"Yeah? And I didn't, I was the DD with double D's." Yang said proudly.

Ruby sighed, very annoyed while Jaune blushed at the joke.

"You went to a party and didn't drink?" Blake asked skeptically.

"Yeah, come on, you all know me. I want to have fun but I don't need an outside drug or inhibitor to have it." Yang explained.

"That's... very mature of you." Pyrrha praised.

"Thanks, although I do like going out to bars and nightclubs." Yang said happily.

Sarge wakes up with Grif and Simmons back in the real world

Sarge: "(clears throat) What... what happened here?"

Simmons: "Sir, you got shot in the head, so we gave you CPR and saved you, sir."

"Ugh, terrible medicine." Blake said.

"Who are you, the joke police?" Yang asked.

"You sound like Weiss." Nora added.

"Why are you calling me out? Weiss has been doing it the entire show." Blake pointed out.

"Thanks for throwing me under the bus," Weiss said sarcastically."

Sarge: "I always believed in you, Simmons."

Simmons: "Uh, actually, it's Grif you should thank sir. He did all the work."

Sarge: "Grif?"

Grif: "Yes sir."

Sarge: "Grif, why in Hell would you give somebody CPR for a bullet wound in the head!? That doesn't make a lick of sense."

"How ungrateful." Pyrrha commented.

"He does have a point." Weiss said.

Grif: "(sighs) You're welcome, sir."

Sarge: "I mean it's all so damn inconsistent. What would you do if they stabbed me in the toe, rub my neck with aloe vera?"

"What's that?" Ruby asked Weiss.

"Ugh! Nothing shows up for it, I'm guessing it's some kind of cream." Weiss said angrily holding her scroll.

Sarge: "Hey there Grif! I think I feel an aneurysm comin' on. Could you help me out with one of them therapeutic massages?"

The screen turned black.

"Ok, I'm gonna go ahead and start the next one." Jaune said.