Heartbeat - Rafe Cameron.

~ Nassau ~

Frank Ocean ~ Thinkin bout you
"It will never get old, not in my soul, not in my spirit, keep it alive"
———————

I sat, now alone, in my room.
I'd basically forced Rafe out. I couldn't tell him.
He isn't ready. I'm not ready.

I looked at myself in the mirror, turning to the side and moving my hands over my stomach. I'd taken a pregnancy test when I realised I'd been throwing up a lot. 17 and pregnant. What a combination.

I'm not ready to be a mom. I can barely take care of myself. I can't take care of a baby. And Rafe is a whole addict.

If I did keep the baby, I wouldn't want it to grow up how I did. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

Tears blurred my vision, I tried to hold them back, but I felt them running down my face.

The reason I went to my parents house was to tell them. Nobody else knows. I need help. I can't do this on my own.

I stared at myself in the mirror as I wiped away my tears, took 3 deep breaths, then stood up. I changed into a sweatshirt and leggings, making sure it was long enough to cover my stomach completely. The bump was barely there, but I could see it. That means other people can too.

"Jules! We gotta go!"

"Coming!"

I met Rafe at the bottom of the stairs, he looked stressed. He was running his hands through his hair, as usual.

I sighed and put my hand on his shoulder

"Will you stop stressing? Nothings wrong."

"I- I'm not okay Jules. I'm not okay. I need help. I'm not.... I'm not me."

I put my arms around his neck and hugged him, drawing tiny circles on his back with my fingertips.

"It's okay. I can help you. And if you don't want my help, I can get you help. It's all going to be okay. I promise you."

As I pulled away his hands moved from my back to his face, he pressed his palms into his eyes.

"Let's just go get on the plane, then we can go to the Bahamas, and it's all going to be fine."

Maybe for him. But for myself? I'm hopeless. If I'm being honest I don't feel like myself either.

I held onto his hand and we walked out to the car together. He definitely wouldn't be ready.

I decided to stop him for a second as Ward got into the car.

"Come on you guys we need to go!"

"One second Ward. I just need to tell Rafe something!"

He sighed and shut the door.

"What do you need to tell me?"

I took a deep breath and felt the tears coming.

"Gi. Are you okay?"