Loss of Feelings | ✓

End

End

"Crush ka raw ni North," sabi ni Ylona na humahagikhik sa tabi ko.

I was focused on trying to read but the mere mention of his name made me flustered.

"P-para kayong ewan," pagwawaksi ko sa atensyon nila.

Why would he notice me? I mean. . .well, alright. Maganda naman talaga ako. I'm aware of that fact. I wouldn't be part of the pageants here and there if I wasn't pretty. Kung di naman maganda, alam ko naman na kahit papaano ay kilala ako sa year namin.

It made me blush because I like North too. He was my classmate and also the president of our class because he was our top one. Kahit hindi naman siya ang pinakamatanda, he acts like everyone's older brother.

Napanguso naman ako. Gwapo rin siya, matangkad, at moreno. Lately, he's still growing. Kaya naman mas napapansin na rin siya kahit ng ibang batch o year level.

"Barbara," Ylona called my name. "Gusto mo rin ba si North?"

The question caught me off guard.

Gusto ko rin ba si North?

Yeah.

Gustong-gusto ko na si North.

It took a few more months before North Barrinuevo confessed to me. It was the traditional way of asking someone's approval of a courtship. Tinulungan pa siya ng buong klase para ligawan ako.

He would create papers that would reveal hidden messages for me. Palagi akong may stick-o o chocolates mula sa kan'ya kahit walang okasyon.

I thought I would only like North because of his good looks but. . .he was also kind and sincere. It was harder to ignore him when he didn't show any bad side at all.

"I like you too, North," I confessed one day while holding his hand. Nasa isang school fair kami nang umamin ako. His hand was warm and big. I feel secure when I'm with him.

"T-talaga?!" he exclaimed, his cheeks were reddening. Napahagikhik naman ako dahil sa itsura n'ya. He seems to be easily flustered just like me.

To have the same effect on someone. . .feels great.

"Pero hindi pa kasi p'wede," I admitted and lowered down my head. "Okay lang ba sa 'yo kung sa. . .senior high na maging tayo? My parents don't want me to have any boyfriends as of the moment but they like you. At gustong-gusto na rin kita, North."

He nodded without hesitations, his eyes were full of determination. Gumuhit ang isang ngiti sa aking labi nang makita 'yon. I was adored since I was young but with North, I could feel like I was the most precious gem among all the jewelry in this world.

"Wala akong problema kung paghihintayin mo ako, Barbara," he simply said.

Ang ganda-ganda ko sa paningin n'ya. Buong junior highschool siya nangligaw sa akin. Walang reklamo sa paghatid-sundo. Kahit kailan ay di nagpakita ng senyales na nagsasawa na siya sa akin. Kaya naman hindi ko siya magawang bitawan.

I don't know if I'll find someone like him ever again. Kaya naman determinado akong siya ang magiging una at huli ko. I don't care if people think that's already an old way of thinking. Ang mahalaga sa akin ay si North ang makakasama ko hanggang dulo. I was so sure of him despite our age.

Hindi naman kami nagmamadali eh. Alam rin naman naming dalawa na seryoso kami sa isa't isa. He was even more serious, if I'm going to be frank.

Kahit nga ang mga magulang namin ay boto sa aming dalawa. We didn't have the typical us-against-the-world type of love. Everyone rooted for us from the start.