50 Shades of Pain ✅

Chapter 10: "You just looked grumpy...."

Chase makes his way into the house, thankful another session of physical therapy was in the books.

Per the therapist's notes for him at the end of the session, everything was going per the original schedule given based on what he was able to do at this point in the process. If it continued down that road, then getting back in the car for Talladega or perhaps Dover a week later was certainly on the table as they had discussed originally.

He makes his way to the kitchen, stopping as he passes his office and glancing in with a smile. It was not uncommon these past couple weeks to watch either Alex and Ryan sneak in there, use the office as their setting for a zoom call with the team. 

He was thankful they wanted to spend as much time as they could with him. The company was certainly welcoming through the recovery process, whether dealing with pain, boredom, or just pure sadness. However, he also had guilt in knowing they were with him, when they should probably actually be physically at the shop with their crew members properly focused on their jobs.

He didn't stay there long, knowing he needed to follow the proper advice of elevating his leg following therapy with ice. It was why he made his way to the kitchen as originally planned, snagging a drink and the ice pack, before retreating to the living room. 

It didn't take long for his motion to catch the attention of his company in the house, with Ryan making a trip out to ensure that Chase was okay, comfortable, and didn't need anything else at this time.

"You didn't have to end your meeting early in my accord," Chase tells him as he gets comfortable, debating whether he wanted to find something else to watch on TV, play a game, or just be bored with his phone. So much for that list of shows he never thought he'd get through on Netflix because that was gone within the first couple weeks.

"Actually, the meeting was done as we discussed everything necessary," Ryan states as he gets comfortable on the couch. Given how hard he worked yesterday - for lack of a good result for that matter, he wasn't about to throw away having a lazy day for a change to just forget about the weekend that was.

"So you may actually smile this weekend, right?" Ryan then looks over, honestly caught off-guard by the comment and puzzled. "I'm sorry, but every video or image that is posted, you just looked grumpy." 

"I'm sorry, but not everyone enjoys going to a place like COTA. It just doesn't always come easily and therefore, it's frustrating at times. It's even more frustrating when people fuck up your day while it's going well." Ryan then takes a deep breath, knowing it was good to get off the chest, but certainly didn't want to use right now as the outlet. After all, the other man in the room had bigger frustrations about the way things had been going as of late.

"I hear you. I'd be pissed as well...." Chase then takes a sip of his drink, knowing perhaps he shouldn't had opened his mouth with the original comment. "I didn't mean to pick on yo-"

"I didn't mean to chop your head off, either. I mean, we both know this isn't easy for you right now." Chase lets out a sigh as he didn't want to talk about it. Alex had been in his shoes before. Dale had been in shoes before. Kurt's emotions calling the finish with Tyler leading showed he was right there in the same emotions. Not being in the car was obviously having an affect, whether disappointment, anger, frustration, and maybe more beyond that. 

"That doesn't mean I can't be there for you too, Ryan. You and Alex are doing everything to help take care of me. It's okay to let me take care of you, too. Let me be there for the frustrating moments. Let me be the person that you can vent to. Let me be the person that you can get out how much you hated something from the weekend. Let me do that for you. Let me care for you, Ry.." Ryan looks over, tenderness written in his eyes as he does so, his hand reaching over as it lands on top of Chase's. 

"Thank you, but that means you can tell us what you're feeling. When I say it's not easy, that means you can tell us how it may be frustrating, depressing, anything. We're here for you, too, beyond the simple pain of a broken leg." Chase nods his head, knowing that and appreciating that. He didn't need the reminder from Ryan to know that, given the conversations that had been shared amongst the trio at times. 

"It's hard to just do that - to just tell you what I am feeling..." Chase then takes a sigh as he leans head back against the chair. "I had a lot of fun doing the broadcast and sharing my insight. At the same time, it tore me apart. It was just another reminder of not being in that car. There were times I'd see Jordan do something, and I just wanted to grab the wheel and do it different. I just wanted to scream how wrong this was, or that was. It frustrated me watching knowing what my team is capable of. It disappointed me because I felt I let them down by not being there with them where I should be. But yet I put it aside, and tried to have as much fun as I could. Mike was great. Clint was comical. Kurt is better in the booth than I thought he'd be, and there were some great conversations. But I won't deny it didn't hurt..." 

"You know it's going to be over before you know it, and you'll be back where you belong. Just look at how well you're moving around, doing things, and the crazy exercises that you thought would be impossible when they showed them to you." Chase smiles, knowing he had to give Ryan credit there as his prep talk was stating pure facts right now. Maybe there was hope for these four weeks to just disappear. 

"Just like I know you're talented enough to have a good night at Richmond and get your ass to the front of the field." Ryan couldn't help but smirk as that'd certainly be a great way to spend next Sunday in his mind.