Conflicting Feelings (Sweammare)

190 10 64
                                    

Warnings: Blood and implied violence

He stood in front of the door for a few seconds, trying to hear any voices. He didn't, only the sound of the rain could be heard.

Finally, he swung the door open and was shocked at what  he found on the other side of the door.

Nightmare was standing there, one arm gripping the other with his head hung low. He was dripping blood and definitely looked wobbly on his legs.

"I..." He tried to support Dream's shocked gaze, frowning at him as if he had some trouble looking at him. "I didn't know where else to go..."

***

What the hell is wrong with me?

That question was one that seemed to constantly pop up in Dream's head lately. It hasn't been the first time he has asked himself that question today and he had a feeling that it wouldn't be his last either.

He was currently desperately trying to focus on a paper he was supposed to send out this very day but he just couldn't concentrate because of that question ringing inside of his head like a broken record.

In frustration, he sent his pen flying before hitting his head on the table, as if it would miraculously stop the inquiry from bothering him again or at least to decrease its importance.

It didn't. Now he also had a headache to deal with.

How lovely.

Deciding it was enough, he rose up from his seat before unceremoniously letting his body fall to its back on the couch, not sparing a glance to the long forgotten pen on the floor. His chest heaved with a long sigh before his elbow came up to shield his eyes from the lights.

When did this start again?

Was it a few months ago, when the thought of killing Nightmare was starting to sound wrong? Or was it a few weeks ago when he actually felt sorry for kicking the latter in the knees as he was chasing him?

He frowned. No, none of those sounded right. What was going on with him? Why was it so hard to figure out just why was that question popping up so often?

He let a sigh escape him before the world turned dark again as his eyelids closed.

Then, did it begin two weeks ago, when he actually started to prioritize chasing criminals who weren't Nightmare when the latter was seen in an au despite him having clearly painted the other as the number one priority at all times? His consciousness still seemed doubtful about that reason. This wasn't it either.

Was it from the start? Has this begun ever since the Apple Incident? This time, as the suggestion was introduced to his mind, his consciousness felt as if a weight had been lifted from it. This must be it.

Well that was out of the way. Now he's going to have to find out why this has been happening. One thing that he can guess was that whatever the reason why this question has been showing up so much lately was correlated, one way to another, to Nightmare.

Specifically when he did something to hurt the other somehow.

Why? Why was it a reason?

Did he not want him gone? Wasn't it the reason why Justice Reigns was a thing in the first place? To make the world a better place, where no one would have to suffer anymore?

Dream shifted position on the couch, flipping onto his stomach as he buried his face into the pillow. As much as he gaslighted himself into thinking that, deep down in his heart, he knew that all of those statements— well, most of them— were wrong. He had never wanted to have Nightmare gone, all of those years with him getting attached refused to leave him off the hook, even after an entire century had passed.

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