Dreamswap Oneshots

Nicknames

Creepypasta squad fluff for all the people I accidentally made miserable by torturing the heck out of Hacker. I wrote this in a day alongside Math which is coming out tomorrow, I have real issues.

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Warnings: Strong language

Ships: None

Synopsis: "We should totally give each other a nickname." Bobby spoke up one day, breaking the calm silence at the dinner table. Randy stopped his fork from going into his mouth mid-air as he stared questioningly at Bobby while Hacker, who had the misfortune of having already shoved the piece of steak into his mouth, choked.

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"We should totally give each other a nickname." Bobby spoke up one day, breaking the calm silence at the dinner table. Randy stopped his fork from going into his mouth mid-air as he stared questioningly at Bobby while Hacker, who had the misfortune of having already shoved the piece of steak into his mouth, choked.

The latter slammed his fist onto the table as he coughed loudly, Randy smacking his back to help him. After a few seconds, he finally swallowed the meat as intended. He raised his head to look at Bobby. "Where did that come from?"

Bobby shrugged, chewing on a potato. "You guys were not saying anything for once and I am bored. Plus, it would seem like username, don't you think? Besides, I need a way to call you two when I am making a video. I cannot just name you with our faces on the news, especially you Hacker."

The latter grumbled, groaning about how he did not have to remind him of that.

Meanwhile, Randy tapped on his chin as he looked at the ceiling, seemingly taking this story about nicknames way more seriously than Hacker was. "I'm guessing that shortened versions of our names won't work?"

"I don't think so." Bobby replied, before glancing at Hacker and smirking. "Though, it would be hilarious to call you 'Hacks,' it sounds as stupid as you are." Hacker shot him a glare as Randy sighed, wondering why his sons were like this.

Well, it is not like he did not love them anyway but getting along did seem to be more favorable than bickering about the smallest things, especially considering how both cared so obviously about each other.

"Oh yeah?" Hacker had a threatening tone to his voice as he slumped against his chair, his arms crossed. "Well, I find it already better than being called 'Bob'." He snickered, a glint of mockery in both eyes and voice.

In response to that, Bobby slammed his fist holding onto his fork onto the table, standing up. "DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT!"

"I don't why you're so angry about that, B o b." Hacker lowered his voice at the last word on purpose, seeming amused at how Bobby's other hand started to gravitate towards his steak knife. "You are the one who suggested we call me 'Hacks'."

"That's totally different! At least it is not some lame ass white name!" he pointed the knife at the man sat across from him, ignoring Randy's plea to stop that.

Hacker arched an eyebrow. "You do realize that you're white, right?"

"Boys please--" Randy tried to interject, in vain as he was cut off by a furious feral teenager whose name started with a B.

"THAT'S NOT RELEVANT TO THIS CONVERSATION!" Hacker rolled his eyes as he kept on munching on his dinner calmly. However, that dejected reaction only seemed to piss off the younger one more. "Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"Boys!"

"I do not take orders from you, Bob. Last time I checked you were not my dad." Bobby was about to reply something, most probably yelling again before Randy raised his voice, causing both men to flinch.

"BOYS." Both shared the look of a deer who was caught in streetlight. "Let us calm down and enjoy our dinner, okay? I do not want to hear any arguing at the dinner table." Once Randy was done and sat back down with a huff, both men lowered their head and apologized. He started feeling bad though and patted them on the head.

"Maybe we should try something else then. How about we try how we view the other?" Both boys raised a questioning eyebrow.

"We'll just call each other stupid and ugly." Bobby answered, and Randy had to admit it did sound like something both would do.

"And what would we call you if we did that? Dad?" Hacker added, looking to the side. Once he looked back though, he noticed Bobby looking at him in horror and he raised his eyebrow, confused at the reaction.

He only realized his mistake when a squeak came from his right. He turned around slowly, seeing stars in Randy's eyes.

"You... view me as your father, son?" His voice was unusually high pitched, and Hacker could swear that he could see tears of joy starting to form in Randy's eyes. He backed away from the table a little.

"Uh, no I meant--" He did not get to finish his sentence though as Randy suddenly got up from his seat and in a single step, was standing right next to Hacker. The latter did not have the option to run away as the other lifted him off the ground with a hug, yelping as his face was suddenly squished by Randy's chest.

"I'm so happy!" He squeezed the other in his arms, who made a choked-up noise as he tried to push himself off Randy. "I would take my role as your dad even more seriously now; you won't regret it!"

"Randy please, you're going to crush my ribs--" Hacker choked out, his attempts starting to become desperate.

Randy either did not understand the message Hacker was trying to convey or he simply did not hear him as he kept on babblering happily, squeezing the other a few times. At one point, he gave up on trying to escape and reluctantly hug back, causing the older man to squeal and almost murdering him again.

Meanwhile, Bobby was trying to break a run to the exit as quietly as possible, to avoid putting Randy's attention to him. However, Hacker was one annoying snitch and loudly called out to him. "Hey Bob! Why don't you join our family hug?"

Bobby froze just as he was about to reach the doorway and disappear into the darkness of the unlit corridor, turning around stiffly like a main character of a horror movie about to be brutally murdered.

Before he blinked, Randy was still standing next to the table on the right but after? It is like he had teleported right in front of the younger man. Just as Randy decided to snatch Bobby too, the latter saw Hacker smirked mockingly at him, his tongue sticking out of his mouth.

'Bastard!' He mouthed angrily at him. 'What happened to your I can't breathe Randy?!'

"I am sorry for not including you in the hug right away son, I would not want you to think that I was favoring Hacker! I love both of you equally!" Randy kept on rambling, oblivious to the war the two others had going on in his arms.

"I'm happy to hear that Randy, really I am--" Bobby was wondering just how his bones were able to withstand the pressure and not snap like twigs, this was seriously impressive. "But could you put us down now??"

Just as he was about to acquiesce to the request, Hacker suddenly interjected. "Do not listen to him Randy, he does not want to be put down. In fact, he has been craving a hug this entire time, but he feels bad about it. That is why he is asking you to put him down."

Randy gasped; eyes wide. "Is this true son? There is no need to be embarrassed about that!"

Bobby's eyes widened as he realized that Randy was buying Hacker's words. "No Randy wait--"

"I'm always happy to give you hugs!" He said, squeezing Bobby a little tighter as if to prove it to him.

He sent daggers in Hacker's direction.

He was hanging around Blue way too much!

As the three of them stayed in that position, the dinner long forgotten, Bobby was vaguely wondering what he could do to embarrass Hacker to get back to him.

This little shit was going to pay for that.