A Chance for Normalcy

CHAPTER 41; unspoken safe word

Waking up the next morning a smile forms on your face as you see a shirtless Max sound asleep next to you. Rolling over you look at the time, 5:46am, yeah that's about right. You carefully sit up in bed, not wanting to wake Max and look over at the baby monitor, Liam starting to wake up. Knowing he's going to be hungry, you slowly get out of bed and head to the bathroom, before quietly heading over to the nursery.

"Good morning little lamb," you say softly opening the door. Liam sitting up eagerly reaching for you.

"Mama," Liam babbles and your heart soars every-time you hear him say that. Like it's his first time saying it all over again. Picking him up, you settle down to feed him in the rocking chair. He nurses for a little bit before settling right back down to sleep and you know you can get a few more hours of sleep if you play it right. You give him a few more minutes to make sure he's asleep before slowly placing him back into his crib, closing the door behind you.

"Everything okay?" Max asks pulling you closer to him as you crawl back into bed.

"Yeah, just had to feed him. He should sleep for a few more hours still." You say closing your eyes holding him tightly.

Max groans looking at the time, "it's so early."

"You'll get used to it." You say chuckling.

"Oh, will I?" Max asks tilting his head to look down at you.

"I'm literally grew another person inside me for ten months then pushed him out of my vagina. It's the least you could do."

"I will do whatever you want me to do." Max says kissing the top of your head and you open your eyes looking up at him with a cheeky grin.

"Really?" You say raising your eyebrow sitting up on your elbows nibbling on Max's ear. "I want you." You whisper in his ear, and you feel Max shudder as your breath sends goosebumps down his neck.

"Here I thought you'd be sore from going at it all night." Max says tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

"I was deprived for over a year. I'm trying to get as much as I can get here before you leave again." You say straddling his lap.

"I'll come back." Max says reassuringly.

"If you say so." You say not quite convincingly. "Now please let me fuck you before he wakes up again."

"Since you asked nicely." Max says smirking. "Hop on."

You smile climbing onto Max's lap already feeling him grow beneath you. Leaning forward you connect your lips passionately grinding your hips into his eliciting a moan from Max. Hearing him moan under you gives you an idea.

Payback.

You sit up nudging Max's legs open which he looks at you warily but complies to and you sit back just out of reach. Giving him a full view of your body, but no access. You run your hand down your body, over your bare breasts squeezing them gently.

"Arya." Max says in a low threatening tone.

"Tell me." You say letting your hand trail down your abdomen, over the scar inflicted by the knife over a year ago down to the only piece of clothing you're wearing. A white cotton thong that doesn't leave much to the imagination, especially when wet. Max's eyes follow your movements closely, and you watch as his jaw clenches as you brush your fingers over your panties which are nearly soaked just from Max's gaze. "Did you miss the way I fucked you?"

Max doesn't say anything his attention too fixed on your fingers drawing lazy circles over your heat.

"How I sucked your dick?" You ask dipping your fingers underneath your cotton panties continuing your lazy circles.

"How I used to ride your dick?" You ask moaning as your fingers become soaked with your arousal. Max leans forward reaching for you, but you shake your head lifting your leg to keep him back. Max reluctantly leans back against the headboard, and you resume your movement. "I asked you a question Max. Several actually."

"No," Max says a smug look on his face, and you can see right through his lie.

"Liar. I bet no matter how many other girls you fucked; you just weren't what's the word..." you say pretending to think while circling your clit biting on your lower lip. "...satisfied?"

Max's breathing you've noticed has become heavier and you know you're not going to be able to maintain this control over him for much longer.

"Tell me. How many girls did you fuck imagining it was me just to get your release?" You ask craning your neck to the side as your fingers work on your clit pleasuring yourself.

"Arya." Max warns but you keep your position needing to know. "None." Max finally huffs out and for some reason that answer makes you feel worse.

Maybe he really didn't miss me. Maybe this is all a mistake.

Embarrassment suddenly floods through you and your actions, feeling foolish that he would've felt the same way. That your wedding vows somehow didn't mean anything to him anymore. Sensing your unease, Max grabs your ankles and pulls you towards him and you look away from him tears forming in your eyes.

"I didn't fuck anyone Arya." Max says turning your chin to look at him. "Not for lack of trying... but I couldn't. I would try to distract myself at clubs, but no matter how drunk I got or the type of girl, I couldn't do it. I couldn't feel anything for anyone knowing you were alive, so I would end up back at my little studio flat using my fucking fist and the memory of you to satisfy those needs."  

A small smile forms on your lips. "You think about me when you jack off?"

Max groans rolling his eyes, "yes."

"Did you think about me when you got yourself off before qualifying?" You ask leaning forward wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Yes." Max says moving his hands up and down your waist slowly. "Did you ever think about me when you satisfied yourself?"

You nod slowly brushing your nose against Max's. "Ask me what I call my vibrator."

"What do you call your vibrator?" Max asks moving his hands down to massage your ass.

"Max 2.0." You say smirking. "It used to be Max Jr. but after Liam was born it just felt wrong."

Max lets out a low chuckle and just as your lips are about to connect again a cry rings out through the baby monitor. Both of you sigh, the cry pulling the two of you back to reality acting like an unspoken safe word. 

"Speaking of, I think it's your turn to change him." You say sliding off of Max and back under the covers.

"I'll try, but you're probably going to have to redo it." Max says sighing climbing out of bed, throwing his sweatpants back on.

"You'll be fine. I'll supervise." You say holding up the baby monitor.

Max shakes his head kicking the clothes out of the way before opening the door and heading across the hall to Liam's nursery. You smile watching Max enter Liam's room, picking him up out of the crib before staring at the changing table confused. He starts opening drawers looking for things, talking to Liam asking if he knows where things are while Liam babbles nothings. Eventually Max finds everything and gets him set up, taking off his PJ's and dirty diaper tossing it into the trash bin next to the table.

"Alright, that was easy." Max says smiling as Liam giggles and you cover your mouth giggling knowing what's going to happen next. As if on cue Liam starts peeing catching Max completely off guard who instinctually just puts the clean diaper on top of the stream before Max starts yelling for you. Liam happily giggling away. You can't help but laugh as you slowly climb out of bed heading into the nursery to help your two boys.

One step at a time.

.........