On Cloud 9 ! ☁️

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Two days later

Monday October 27 th
** The kids didn't have school today . Carina is still in awe that her children all decided to get along with each other and to do something extra special just for her, she still is on cloud 9 , but she also still doesn't want to do anything she's still feeling like she doesn't know who she is anymore. Obviously she is the momma of six beautiful and absolutely perfect children and the wife to her firefighter Barbie, the one who brings her joy in the morning just by looking at her, for Carina that's Maya, her WIFE , THE OTHER ONE WHO HAS BEEN THERE WITH HER FOR TWELVE WONDERFUL YEARS. HER
H O M E . But she doesn't know who she is anymore. The Carina that Maya fell in love with used to get up every morning drank her coffee ate, her French toast and went to work for twelve to fifteen hours shift, now? She does not even have the energy to get herself a glass of water. She absolutely LOOOOOOOOVES BEING A MOMMA , it's always been her dream but she feels like she is lost in the woods and no one to help her out **

4h48 am
**Ryann cried and cried **
Carina was sound asleep so Maya came and picked up her crying three months old daughter, and changed her diaper and also changed her pyjamas and Carina slightly woke up **

Carina: does she want a feed?
Maya: I think she does ...
Carina: alright.. bring her here please!
Maya: alright... you know she can also have a little little bit of f formula mixed with your breast milk!
Carina: yea I know but I have to pump in order to do that...
Maya: right ...
Carina: I don't know who I am anymore babe !
** She couldn't believe that she blurted it out**
Maya: wh— what do you mean you don't know who you are anymore?
Carina: I am not the same person I was when we met twelve years ago babe, and I'm sorry I'm not the  Carina THAT YOU fell in love with at the bar that fabulous night, I am terribly sorry for not being the same person... babe I used to get up every morning drank her coffee ate, her French toast and went to work for twelve to fifteen hours shift,  and I can't even get a glass of water for myself before getting overwhelmed with random things and I just want the feeling of numbness, I feel like I am going around and around in circles and I just want to stop ... stop the crying and crying every day and every night, because I love being a momma, it always has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl, you deserve some one better than who I have become, I'm terribly sorry and don't want to be a disappointment for you, for our children...
Maya: babe.... Everything is going to be fine, it's totally normal to feel like that, you said it yourself it's the postpartum depression , that you managed to avoid with the first five children! And everything seems dark and you can't see a way out but that's because it's your first time experiencing postpartum depression! I am not going anywhere my love, we can cuddle with you all day , take turns coming in bed with you , cuddle with you, if it's what you need. We will do it until you feel like your self again.. and whether that's in three weeks or three months from now we will support you through this .
Carina: okay thank you..

6h39 am
*** the kids came upstairs and they were all listening to their moms talk and they were genuinely concerned about their momma, so they felt the need to knock on the bedroom door and interrupt them **

Chloe: sorry to interrupt you, but mommy is right, we will do anything that you want us to do, even if that means we take turns coming in and out of here just because you want us to put your socks back on properly because the heel is turned around, for example, we will do just that.
Alessandro: yesss momma , we will do just that.
**Carina couldn't help but cry once again **
Ohhhhhkaaaayyyy , I want to thank you all for being patient with me through this shitty phase ,

Chloe: that's what family does, is we stick together no matter what, and we know that OUR REAL BUBBLY MOMMA is hiding somewhere beneath the " new Carina" . You do say that it's completely normal for woman who have had babies to go through postpartum depression right?
Carina: siiii,
Chloe: okay well that's okay, you are no exception to this I'm afraid so , momma and we will help you out with the chores , and everything else,
Alessandro: yes , i can help out too momma, with little things ... like bring you a glass of water with ice cubes in it , anything that can make it easier for you we will do it!
Carina: okay thank you all so much, it really really means a lot to me!
Maya: anything for you!

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