When Mrs. Infamous Lost The Masochist... (BOOK 4)

Chapter 43

I hadn't been to my hometown in over three year since the last time I visited one Thanksgiving to try to connect with my parents after moving to a new home. I thought that would be the last time after they didn't seem to care about my new life, and my mother was uninterested as always when it came to my happiness. The last time I saw her, she disapproved of my choices in life and the last time I spoke to her through the phone in Europe, I confronted her for hiding my heritage from me my entire life. I thought I was done with my mother when she shut my father out for standing by my side and I never wanted to see her again. I believed I stopped caring about her after all she's done and said to me. It turns out none of that was true as I boarded the earliest flight to my hometown to try to see my mother after hearing from my father that she had fallen ill and may not be able to recover. Why was I rushing so much to get to her if I believed she wanted nothing more to do with me after I said I didn't care if she disowned me as her daughter? These questions kept spiraling in my head as I waited for the plane to land as quickly as possible.

When I heard the news, I was so desperate to leave right away that I didn't tell anybody - not even Remington - where I was going and why. I decided I'd tell them when I got there after making sure my mother was in a stable condition. When I finally landed, I took the nearest taxi to take me to the hospital my father mentioned where he was with my mom. As we drove through the small town, I looked through the window in the car and recognized every street, every small building and area where I had good and bad memories. Mostly bad memories since no one besides Finn and my grandmother ever made me feel like I belonged here. But even as most people I grew up were cruel to me, I've grown mature enough now to hope the best for them and that they've learned from their mistakes in the past, just like I have. I finally arrived at the hospital and ran over to the front desk to ask where my mother was and how she is.

The nurse led me to the room where my parents were: my father sitting in a chair close by my mother who was lying sick on a hospital bed. The sight brought such turmoil to my heart and I had to make sure I wouldn't cry right now. A doctor was there as well and after realizing I was his patient's daughter, he explained to me her condition, "Miss Wisteria, your mother recently suffered a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital earlier this week. Luckily, your father was there to help bring her here and watch over her as we did our best to keep her stable. I want to say she'll be fine, but it seems her heart has suffered a lot of stress over the years and she hasn't been taking care of herself as much as she should've. We're doing everything we can, but I can't make any promises." I felt the tears threatening to spill over again when I thanked him for informing me and he left the room so we'd have some privacy. I turned back to find my mother was awake and already had her eyes on me. The most startling thing about her gaze was that for once, her eyes were kind and gentle, and they seemed to be aching to see me.

My mother reached her hand out to me, begging for me to come closer to her. Even though I obliged as I took a seat on the edge of her bed, I looked away wondering if she might still be upset about what I had said to her in the past. "Carina, look at me", she asked gently with a sense of assertiveness in her tone, causing me to finally look up at her as she smiled through her pain and discomfort. "My sweet baby", she began speaking, already making me emotional with the pet name she would call me as a child, "I had always feared for you to see me like this. Especially before I could apologize for everything I had said and done to make you feel inferior. I never meant to make you think I wanted you to be perfect. I had only hoped you wouldn't turn out like me. I was ashamed of myself and where I came from and I feel bad for using your father as a means of escape, even though I did love him more than anything. When you came into our lives with proof of my background, I was worried you might become ashamed of where I came from and therefore, I pushed for you to be different, into a life where everything came easily for you. But I should have know that as my daughter, you'd turn out stubborn and find your own path to happiness and success."

I felt the tears spilling over my cheeks as she held onto my hand and gripped it tightly as she said to me, "I don't expect you to forgive me so easily for the things I said in the past just because I was too proud to believe you'd be better off without us, but I need you to know that throughout all of our arguments and disagreements, I've never been so proud to see you growing up so happy doing what you love and being with people who actually accept you and love you for all that you are. I don't care who you end up with, Carina. As long as you love each other and work hard to keep that love intact and true." I was a wreck by then when she had said all that and I found myself sobbing hard as I collapsed onto the bed. She lifted my head up and invited me to hug her on the bed. I climbed up on it and snuggled into her chest as she wrapped her arms around me securely and petted my hair like she used to when I was little. Though I was still crying, I said quietly, "I love you, Mommy. Nothing ever stopped me. I'm sorry I treated you like you were dead to me." She shushed me gently and reassured me, "I probably deserved that, but I prayed you'd still be okay without me." My father joined us as he kissed my mother and joined in our hug, my family together once more when I believed a long time ago that I was done with both of them.

***

I woke up the next morning and found that my father was gone. He must be getting something to eat after an emotionally draining night. I rubbed my eyes as I looked up to find my mother still asleep. "Mom, it's morning. Dad's gone to get some breakfast", I stated while waiting for my father to come back. She didn't respond and I assumed she was still tired when I shook her arm. After a minute of forceful shaking and nudging, she wouldn't move or open her eyes. My heart dropped farther into the Earth as I begged, "Mom, wake up! The doctor's gonna be here to check up on you soon!" Regretfully, I leaned down close to her chest to listen to her heartbeat and felt my heart shatter to learn it was gone. I looked back up at my mother's face, so gentle and peaceful, and I broke down as I squeezed her hands in protest, "Mom, please wake up! I'm not ready to say goodbye to you! Don't leave us!" I felt myself being pulled away from my father and a nurse as the doctor scanned the situation and looked back at us with guilt and regret before I clutched onto my father's chest and cried so hard for my mother. He did his best to comfort me as he mourned the loss of his wife and while holding me close to him, afraid I'd break if he let me go.