When Mrs. Infamous Lost The Masochist... (BOOK 4)

Chapter 26

My heart was restored after reuniting with everyone I love. We spent some time hanging out at Stephanie's house as I told everybody about my time so far in Paris and how much I missed everyone here while I was over there. It seemed that I never left their thoughts, just like they never left mine, especially Emerson. He seemed to stay silent the entire time we were hanging out together at the local diner I loved going to. I wondered if he was upset from being apart from me for so long or he didn't want to ruin the special evening with a lot of words. I hoped it was fine as the night lasted a little longer and I was beginning to get tired from the eventful day since I arrived here. I chose to rest with Emerson since we were due to spend some much needed alone time with each other. He ended up taking me back to a local motel since his mother's house would be occupied by her as well as Sebastian and Allegra whom I found out were newly engaged. Emerson wanted to give them their own space so we could cherish ours.

When we checked into the best room in the building he could afford for us, I didn't hesitate to take a seat on the edge of the large bed, my feet desperately needing to take a break from supporting me all day. I didn't get much time to relax as Emerson took a seat next to me and took one of my hands before placing his other on my cheek and leaning in to press his lips against mine without warning. While I was slightly surprised, I invited the action as I kissed him back and held the side of his face in my hand. He pulled away for a moment and I could tell he was holding back, but what for? I realized the answer as he slowly moved his lips down to my neck where I felt tingles in my body where I've never felt them before, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Weird noises came out of my mouth as Em continued to kiss me this way before kissing my lips again. He then gently pushed me down on the bed until I was on my back and he was on top, looking into my eyes as if he was yearning for me and the sight sent shivers throughout me.

Understanding what he wanted, I decided to oblige to his desires as I smiled to give him my permission to go ahead. He grinned back as he kissed me once more and held me close to him. These sensations spreading throughout me felt strange and unfamiliar, but I tried not to think too much on it as he began to undress himself before me. His hands traveling down my body seemed to please him, but I wasn't sure why I didn't feel comfortable about it if I knew I loved him more than anything.  He was about to discard my underwear before I stopped him by grabbing his wrists and saying, "Wait, Em! Don't...Don't..." Emerson froze and held a look of fear on his face as he was afraid he crossed a line with me, but while that wasn't the case, I felt myself about to cry. He was quick to stop what he was doing to hold me in a close embrace and try to soothe me as I continue crying. "Nina, my love, what's the matter? Did I make you uncomfortable with my impulsive actions?", he asked worried that he caused me to cry like this.

Angry at myself, I shook my head and explained to him through a shaky tone, "No, Em. It's not you, it's me. You're my husband and I love you more than anything so this shouldn't feel so uncomfortable and scary for me. But it did, and I feel like such a jerk because you must have longed to love me like this. I'm so sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me." I cried a little more in his chest before I finally calmed down a little and he lifted my head up to look in his eyes and smile as he spoke in his soft and comforting voice, "My sweet and precious Moon child, there's nothing wrong with you. I didn't marry you just to have sex with you, I married you because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and follow you in making your dreams come true. We don't have to do this if you feel uncomfortable or you're not ready. Either way, I'll never hold resentment toward you because you are the reason I want to keep creating and existing on this miserable planet. I found Heaven on Earth when I found you." His words meant more than I could say, so I just kissed him to thank him before we drifted off to sleep.

The next day, I met up with Carina and our friends and confessed about my personal issue with intimacy and how I was scared it would ruin my relationship with Emerson. Carina reassured me that nothing could stop that man from loving me, even the end of the world as we knew it. I met Delilah's daughter, Rosabella, for the first time, and while I was playing with her, I realized how much I wanted kids in my future. While I did have this strange issue with intimacy, I was willing to get over it this one time to create a family with Emerson, who was excited about the idea when I proposed it to him the next day. While our second attempt did take longer than expected and was somewhat awkward, I felt proud of myself for getting through it if it meant starting a family of our own where I hoped to be a better mother than my own.