Part 26

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Archer's POV

It's been a month since the funeral. Just like Scarlett said we came back to Atlanta the day after everything. Despite everything going on even I had to admit that it was actually really cool. Since more or less the whole cast had come over to support me they decided it would be easier for us to all fly back on a private plane. If I thought the ride with Florence was cool, this was awesome. Even if I spent most of the flight curled up on Scarlett's lap, only really letting go when we took off and landed, oh and once when I had to go pick up all the cards which Flo may or may not have thrown around the plane when I beat her at poker for the tenth time. She had been sitting opposite us with Lizzie and I had been teaching them all how to play poker since I promised Flo I would teach her some of my tricks. It's safe to say she isn't learning very well, but it is entertaining to watch, especially while curled up in Scarlett's lap.

That is my new safe place and I spend as much time as humanly possible there. Something about being wrapped up in Scarlett's arms makes the pain in my chest go for a while. She makes it stop hurting. Sometimes at bedtime instead of her telling me a story like a normal adult would for a child, I'll tell her a story. Normally one about Daddy or the squad. And those moments. while I am laid on her chest telling her some of my favourite moments with everyone, those moments don't hurt. I can think about the squad and smile. That is the power of Scarlett's cuddles. 

I was originally worried about how much time I have spent relying on her giving me cuddles, not wanting her to find me clingy or annoying, but I have quickly learnt she loves our cuddle time just as much as I do, which is a lot. If I don't come to find her to cuddle in between takes while I am filming then she comes to find me, or in the mornings she comes and fines me while I am working out so that she can get her morning cuddles. Safe to say we spend a ridiculous amount of time cuddling and I love it. It is my favourite time of the day. Mainly because it can be any time of the day and as often as I like. She is my safety. 

Scarlett has been working with me about telling her my feelings. Apparently, I bury them down too much and it isn't healthy, a decision she made after I punched the wall during my first week of classes with Miss Tana. So now when I wake up I have to show her my feelings on the chart, or more like at breakfast since I work out before Scarlett is even awake. Then again at lunch and once again before bed. Sometimes if I get worked up during the day we do it then too, as a tool to see if we can find out why I am worked up. 

It's easier to point to a frowny face on a chart than it is to verbalise that I am sad, it makes me feel less weak to point at a silly drawing than to say 'I am sad'. Plus as a reward for being open about my feelings I get ten minutes of cuddle time which is when I am supposed to explain why I think I am feeling this way. That is the only reason I even try to talk about how I am feeling because I am safely wrapped in Scarlett's arms. A part of me actually believes that when I am wrapped in Scarlett's arms I am safe from everything, which is why I can talk about those things.

 Flo had suggested that maybe keeping a journal could help me write away all the messy thoughts in my head, which was a nice idea but not being able to spell half my thoughts put an end to that. Scarlett tried explaining that the journal is just for me, so my spelling doesn't matter, but she doesn't get it. It matters to me. Most of the time I can't even read back what I write, so the whole exercise seemed pointless to me. I would rather cuddle time and point at the silly little poster Scarlett drew for me. It is on her fridge, right next to the laminated set map she made me right when I first got to Atlanta. It made us both laugh when she put it up, cause I teased her about how she is the one with her artwork on the fridge, not me.

Anyway, today is stunt day, where I am doing my big stunt, or at least it will be after I go see Miss Tara for my mandatory two hours of school work, which sucks so bad. I was so excited about the stunt originally but now I can't help but think about all the time Daddy and the squad spent helping me with it when they visited. How they spent their final week alive helping me to prepare for it. Since I am going to spend the whole day doing stunts I decided to skip my workout this morning and instead stayed curled up on Scarlett's chest, I think I could use all the cuddles I can get today. 

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