Remain Nameless | Bts x reader

Great and holy plans

It had the distinctive smell of alcohol, but an ethereal note of cherry blossom, tea, citron, and pepper briefly emerged, leaving as quickly as it came lulling into disinfectant. Each aroma dissipated the next until she plucked up the courage to take a swig. If she could not fall asleep on her own, this would help or give her the guts to talk to Yoongi; either worked. The bitterness overwhelmed all other flavours as the liquid hit her pallet. It trickled down her throat and let a pleasant burn. (y/n) handed the bottle over, and Yoongi took it without hesitation, following suit by taking a drink.

(y/n) watched him carefully as she wiped her lips on the back of her hand. "where did you get this?" Yoongi asked after his face settled from scrunching up.

"Akira gave it to me," She answered, secretly proud that she wasn't the first to break the silence. (y/n) eyed him as he took another shoot and handed it back. She copied, taking another for herself. There wasn't any occasion to use it, so why not now? They locked eyes for a moment, and she almost laughed. It left like she was a little kid doing something she wasn't meant to, not a grown adult having a drink.

"Why does he give you so many gifts?" Yoongi questioned all the previous tension seemed to of gone.

"I think he feels indebted, and it's a way of saying thanks."

"Thanks for what though it doesn't seem you've done much." He was looking ahead, but she could hear his smile; the alcohol had already begun to work, losing them up for what seemed the most ordinary conversation she had had in a while. Rather than reply to his taught with words, (y/n) grabbed the book she had been trailing around and threw it on his lap. Yoongi recognised the book from the night he killed Doeksu.

"In there's proof of all I do here,"

That book had nasty memories attached to it, one of death and his surrogate father. Yoongi was curious to know what the girl did. All he had seen was the odd snippet and a few meetings, things he had never given his full attention to; Yoongi still wasn't sold on being in this war and getting involved didn't feel right. He knew it wasn't worth revisiting the night from many cycles ago.

"I'll believe you, " He pushed the book off his lap to rest on the be. He said, "Why are you even doing this? I don't get it,"

"I keep telling you I don't have a choice."

"yes, but Why?" The mood dropped, short-lived as it was. The way Yoongi forced those words out sounded as if he might have caused some capillary to bust; it was as if every frustration of the past few years had configurated into his question.

(y/n) sighed. It was going to have to come out eventually. She had dodged it with everyone else when they questioned her motives. It wasn't from the goodness of her heart to help the kingdom she grew up in; it was self-preservation. Pure and selfish over something she could have bared. Staying on the island sounded like the most heavenly thing right now. She would have wasted her days there in a heartbeat if she knew she would have to admit what was to play out to Yoongi. But there was no way she could hold her tongue now, not when he was looking at her so expecting. With another drink, she began to tell.

"To get off that island, I had to convince them. They came up with this deal and told me about these nightblade that had fled the island to join the second kingdom. They do not like those who left could expose the island's existence, so I have to hunt them down and kill them. I'm also to make sure Akira becomes king. They think it's the safest bet out of all the lords. If I don't do this, they will kill me. If I do, I'm free to do as I please." She spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully to avoid stumbling or miss-talking.

It was a subject she had spent days upon days thinking about but saying it aloud made it real. It was like she was confirming her demise with each word. Though when she looked back at Yoongi, she got no sympathy. He was staring straight ahead with little expression, but the tiniest of creases on his bow showed her was thinking, mulling it over in his mind.