𝑴𝒀 𝑭𝑰𝑹𝑬𝑭𝑳𝒀 | 𝑵.𝑹 𝒙 𝑫𝑨𝑼𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑬𝑹

* ˚ ✦ 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤

[request]

* ˚ ✦ sometimes you still need your mama to comfort you, even at nineteen, and that's completely fine!

alright - gracie abrams
0:13 ─〇───── 2:24
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

warning
age 19

!ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. THIS IS MY OWN STORY!

⸺ ⧗ ⸺

Moving out hit harder than you thought it would. At first, it seemed like paradise. No adults to annoy you, doing whatever you want whenever you want, socializing not being necessary any more... It was all fun, until it wasn't. As cool as being on your own was, there were those days when you sincerely missed living under the same roof as your family.

You started to miss your mother and her presence, no matter how old you get, deep down you still needed your mama even though you refused to admit that out loud. You would give anything to be able to eat Wanda's cooking. Just the thought of a home-cooked mea made your mouth water. It might sound stupid, but your dog, missing the days when you would just watch her run around, trying to catch her tail. And as times were getting more and more stressful, you seriously considered driving home just to spend some time with her. You even started to miss being embarrassed by your family, as surprising as it sounds. You missed the little things you were so used to at home like having your family be goofy with you, their nagging questions to know everything going on in your life, or when Tony showed up at your bedroom door in the most ridiculous costume you've ever seen every time you felt down just to put a smile on your face.

It finally hit you... how lonely you were.

You had never been an unsocial person. Introvert, yes, but you'd always had close friends by your side. You came to college without anyone else you knew, which was partially intimidating, partially exciting. As the year began, you made friends at a pre-orientation program. But as your first semester went on, the number of acquaintances plateaued. Around Christmas-time, you were disappointed to have not found my group, or at least someone to go get ice cream with. You even got tired of Netflix, your substitute companion for most of the year.

Loneliness was a new feeling to you, and it wasn't a good one.

In elementary through high school, most people have only ever made friends passively. This just means that after years of living in your neighbourhood and going to the same school with the same people year after year, we automatically became friends with the people around us. But when we go to college, nothing is automatic.

You now take classes with different people every semester, and have strangers living down the hall. Classes felt too big to be personal, and most people come in, sit down, focus, then leave. Not much time for chatting.

You kinda gave up on the affair, when someone came up to you one night. You recognized them straight away, but you weren't sure if they did. They lived upstairs above yours, and you had a class together. Whether they actually recognized you, you couldn't tell, but it didn't stop them for walking over. "Hey!"

You lifted the head of your book for a second, and looked at your interlocutor. The strong smell of alcohol hit your nose almost immediately, but you chose to forget about it. You offered a small smile and a shy 'hi', waiting for them to continue. "The girls and I... We're going out tonight. To the club, want to join?"

You were hesitant. Maybe this was your way to becoming more social... "Yeah, why not!"

"Great, we'll see you tonight then!" They left, and you were alone again in a second. Suddenly, you started wreaking out.