A Red Rose - Hyunlix

24

Hyunjin's POV

It had been a long time. Almost a year, 10 months to be exact. And Felix was still in a coma. The chances of awakening were incalculable and the doctors began to talk about it using the adjective "irreversible" so according to them he would not have awakened. And in my opinion? 

So, to put it briefly, the hopes I had of her awakening were incalculable, like those of her awakening, but they were there. Hidden behind regret and guilt but they were there, even if malnourished and tired of staying.

I had resumed school regularly but I can't say that I was as happy as I used to be, on the contrary, I tried to look happy and to paste fake smiles so as not to create further problems around, even if I hadn't encountered pure happiness for about 10 months now. Since Felix went into a coma my subconscious has reset any feeling or emotion similar to joy or happiness, replacing them with the very famous sense of guilt of which I have already spoken substantially.

I.n was in prison, keeping Felix's parents company behind steel bars, and this only fueled the desire for revenge towards the Ave Maria trio.

I had also resumed playing intensive sports, perhaps to try to free myself from the anxiety that assailed me every morning as soon as I opened my eyes, and life flowed before my eyes. I could no longer pick it up and drive it, not without Felix. I had restarted that bad habit of having fun with girls, taking them home, satisfying them and everything started again. A terrible bore.

It was October 14, a fairly quiet day. The clouds obscured the sky and deprived the earth of sweet sunlight, the leaves fell from the trees, dancing on the symphonies of the wind that cradled and carried them to the ground, to create a cloak of brown and red tones. I walked on the rustle of leaves, reaching the hospital. Her parents had told me to decide when to pull the plug and it was time. A tear tickled my cheek, trying to drag my legs and bring them back from that hell in which I had spent at least a few hours of my day up to now. A total hell, in which hope had abandoned me little by little, reducing itself to a shy grain of sand hidden in the depths of my heart. Indeed, even the heart was gone. Hope had drained him, only to leave him in a precarious condition, after which he had died in a corner of my soul, with tears in his eyes and his body shaking with sobs.

The doctor had told me that I was wracked by psychotic depression, one of many facets of depression that included hallucinations and delusions.

Yes, I had happened to mistake some ordinary people for Felix. The first time was on June 16th.I was walking under the scorching June sun on a street in Seoul. I raised my head a little to dodge passers-by and stopped short. I saw Felix. His face was the same, hair very similar though he was perhaps a little taller than four inches. I had felt the panic, the adrenaline that jolted me from thoughts and the tears that made their entrance. I knew something was wrong, I felt it. 

I had backed away and ran away, trying to regain control of myself. That presumed Felix hadn't even looked at or noticed me, he had kept walking, unaware of my panic attack that had seized me.

The doctor following many events following this, had prescribed me various antidepressants but I always tried to force myself to be like this. If I felt happy, guilt stormed my night, prevented me from thinking and even gave me severe migraines, and how could I be happy without Felix?

I found myself in front of the hospital. I took a long sigh, forcing myself not to think. I entered, I took the stairs with my heart boiling frantically in my chest, as if he wanted to break me in and break me in 2.

I said goodbye to Hayoon and entered Felix's room. I didn't have much time, about half an hour before I didn't see him anymore, or at least, I could see him in the cemetery. I sat down in the usual chair, taking his hand.

-Hey Felix, how are you?- I asked with a shaking voice, and the tears began to fall. I tried to hold back.

-Felix, please wake up, please- I begged him, squeezing his hand.

-Coming soon- I stopped to catch my breath, while my eyes flooded with tears blurred my vision.

-Soon, they'll take you away from m-me, so you don't have much time to wake up- I whispered, my voice half breaking. I looked at him intensely, and then buried my head in our hands, united hours but also forever. I cried, trying to hold back. Tears traveled their usual daily route, with the speed of lightning crashing into our shy union.

I raised my head and begged him again:

-Felix, please!- I cried. A tear fell from my jaw, until it made a small tick against her wrist.

His eyes opened. I raised my head to look at him better and no, it wasn't a dream or even a hallucination.

Author Corner

Hi Guys, how are u? Okay, I'm writing chapter 30 and it will be so sad. Yes, Felix woke up and it's real. I'm going to update next weekend, see u soon <3

Ashley123omg thank you sm for the support <3