The Lives Of The Romanovs

Readjustment

Anastasia

I sold my apartment and my old furniture. Cheryl and I moved back to the Alexander Palace rather quickly. However, I still wasn't used to being back. I did not see myself ever being the old girl I once was. I had gone through too much and I was more mature. And I was a mother now. I had to prepare Cheryl for her life as my illegitimate child. I could not imagine how the public would react.

In spite of being back at the palace for sometime, I had not had the time to unpack. I had been fretting over the assassination attempt, selling the apartment, and figuring out how to come back to the public. And in spite of it being better, I still needed to mend my relationship with my parents. But that was going to be awhile and I still needed time. Cheryl walked around our bedroom in awe of how big it was. She was absolutely amazed by the palace and the toys waiting for her. Her Dedushka and Babushka were ready to spoil her. Though, Papa was a bit upset that I was raising Cheryl with English as her first language. But it was a way to remind Cheryl where her family came from, even though she would never know Josiah's family.

"Mama, look!" Cheryl gasped and reached for a Fabergé egg on the shelf in our bedroom. I gasped and ran over to her, quickly taking it from her.

"No, no. We don't touch that. We touch this." I picked up her doll and gave it to her. "Play with Ekaterina while Mama unpacks our clothes, alright?" I whispered and then kissed her cheek. I went back to hanging up the dresses in the wardrobe. I needed time to think while organized, and certainly did not wish for a maid to help. I had a lot on my mind.

There was a sharp knock at the door, to which Papa poked his head in. I nodded at him to come in, and he did. Papa came over to Cheryl and picked her up, placing her on his hip. He could not help but smile at his granddaughter.

"She's a beauty. Who knew this little one would give me so much joy?" Papa grinned. He set her back down on the bed before looking at me with a sincere look. "Are you alright, Nastya?"

"I am...I am adjusting. It is so strange to be back here after all this time. The palace has barely changed, but the feeling of it...it is almost as if the palace is haunt. Does that make sense?"

Papa chuckled. "There has been quite a bit of tragedy here. I am sure there may be some spirits running around here. Anastasia, I need to speak to you about reintroducing yourself to the public."

He had my complete attention after saying that. I sighed and set the clothes down. My heart raced at what he might say. I was already expecting judgement, not just from the Russian people. In fact, I was barely worried about them. It was the Romanovs and other royals across Europe. It would be the start of scandal for the new decade coming up.

"I already know what you shall say, and I am ready to be judged. Especially by Felix Yusupov." I snickered.

"Anastasia, I have an idea, and I do not know how you will feel about this. But the public does not need to know about Cheryl. I have a story to tell the Russian people along with other countries. Are you ready?"

I nodded.

Papa cleared his throat. "You did some traveling across the world privately for years. You went across America, South America, Asia, and what not. In 1927, a soldier you knew during the Great War came to you and claimed he was a penniless widower who could not support the child. He begged you to take the child, and so you adopted her. Later on, you found out the soldier committed suicide. You quietly raised her for the last two-years. What do you think?"

"Papa...that is a very dramatic and large story. What if the press becomes to speculative and tries to investigate further?"

"They will not. And even if so, they shall not find anything. It is the only way. You will be praised for taking care of an orphan and shows you have a strong character. Nastya, it will be our secret. Nobody has to know anything if you simply keep it a secret. Can you do that?" Papa put his hand on my shoulder.

I glanced over at my daughter. I hated the idea of having her grow up in a lie. However, it was the only way. Perhaps someday, unmarried mothers would not be so criticized and shamed. But that day was not today, and I had to protect Cheryl. I looked my Papa in the eye and nodded at him. He gave a weak smile back and pulled me into a hug.

Within days, the public no longer carried as much about the assassination attempt on my sisters and brother-in-laws. I became the front page to all newspapers. I was being deeply praised for my "bravery" and "kindness" to raise a shell-shocked poor Russian soldier's daughter. Though, I felt guilty for taking away the publicity from the tragedy with my family. The culprits to the assassination had not even been caught yet, and the press did not care anymore. That was society though. Were humans always this careless and rude?

The good news was that there was going to be a dinner with the family soon. It was going be odd to be back in such a setting. I was going to need to get used to it. I was Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna, and always would be.