The Lives Of The Romanovs

The Ballerina

Tatiana

At my home, I had decided to invite Prince Konstantine Konstantinovich, Lady Mary, Ioann Konstantinovich, his wife Helen, Felix Yusupov, and Cousin Irina. Olga and Igor had been invited too, but could not make it due to Ivan having a fever. Olga refused to leave his side for a single second. Dmitri, my children, and I said a quick prayer for my little Ivan.

"Baby Irina, you are going to study French with Monsieur Gilliard this afternoon while your father and I's guests are over." I put my shoes on. Baby Irina was sitting on the edge of my bed.

"That is so stupid." She mumbled.

"Do not say that, Irina Dmitrievna! That is not a nice word!" I shrieked.

"Why? I hear Papa say it all the time."

"That is because he is an adult and a man. A lady should never say such things. Now, go be a good girl and wait for Monsieur Gilliard in the library." I patted Baby Irina's cheek softly. She groaned and jumped up from the bed. On her way out, that's when Dmitri came in the room.

"The guests are arriving now. Are you ready yet?" Dmitri checked his watch.

"I am now."

Dmitri furrowed his eyebrows at me. He then walked over and got a closer look at me. "Are you wearing mascara?"

"Yes," I felt my heart begin to race at his stern tone. "It has become quite popular. Women are starting to paint their faces."

"Not my wife. My wife will not wear such things. She's a Grand Duchess, not an actress. Take it off at once."

"But Olga wears mascara and Igor doesn't become angry with her."

"If Igor is happy with Olga painting her face, then that's their own business. But you are my wife. Take it off." Dmitri gritted his teeth, taking a fast step in front of me. I wasn't ready to back down yet. I was not going to let Dmitri boss me around.

"No, I am going to keep it on. Our guests are already here and it would be rude to take up even more time. You and I can discuss this later." I looked at him in the eyes.

"You are embarrassing sometimes, Tatya. Why can't you just do as you're told for once? I do not ask for much from you."

"I do not ask for much from you either. And you still contradict everything I say as well. Do you truly believe you can keep bossing me around, Dmitri?"

"Of course. I am your husband. Come to lunch then, but we will discuss this later. But remember this, Tatya. You are risking your reputation." Dmitri turned around getting ready to walk away.

"You mean I am risking your reputation? God forbid I become a modern woman. I may actually combat against you." I said with tears in my eyes. Dmitri turned around with his nostrils flared and his eyebrows furrowed.

"You already do. You contradict me and go against everything I say everyday. Nothing I do pleases you. Now come to lunch. As I said, we can speak about this later."

"I am so tired of this, Dmitri. Why don't you love me anymore?" I began to cry, probably ruining my mascara. Dmitri jus stared down at the floor, completely speechless. I wished he would say something. Anything. But he didn't. He sat there and stared down at the floor.

"Please, let us not do this now. We are being utterly rude. Clean your mascara and come downstairs."

I tearfully cleaned up the mascara, though it was quite difficult. After calming myself, I brought myself downstairs into the dining hall. Everyone was already sitting and waiting for food. Dmitri had told anyone had a stomachache this morning, which everyone joked that I was possibly with child again. No, I was absolutely done having children. Felix Yusupov joked about Olga having a child every year, to which he made a swinish comment about Olga and Igor having a very good marriage. Only the men at our table laughed. I shall never understand men's sense of humor.

"Tatiana Nikolaevna, how is Little Dmitri? Poor thing must be struggling." Irina sighed.

I shook my head. "He is actually doing just fine. He is learning Russian Sign Language and to speak. Baby Irina is learning Russian Sign Language with him and it is so utterly adorable."

"How sweet."

Helen smiled up at me. "How is the little one? I am sorry, but I forget you what have nicknamed her".

"Beth. She is well. She looks just like me as well. Perhaps I can bring the children down later on. Baby Irina is going to be six this October. The time truly does go by fast.

"Tell me about it." Lady Mary laughed. "Boris is going to be three this year. Off the topic, but how is Prince Paley? I know last time I met him, we did not get along well. But still, how is he and Prince Paul?"

"Coping. Vladimir is still in complete depression and the child is just as sad as he is." Dmitri responded for him. "I have never seen a man so overcome with grief. He just needs the comfort of another woman."

"Another woman?" I scoffed. "The only woman he wants is gone."

"Sometimes men need other women for comfort."

"What is that supposed to mean, Dmitri?" I asked. The room fell silent for a minute. Dmitri and I kept intense eye contact, but no words. What did Dmitri mean by men needing other women? Surely, he was not having an affair.

"Dmitri, you told me the other day that you got a new bourbon collection in your billiard room! Would you mind showing me?" Ioann smiled at Dmitri. The men in the room all stood at the same time with Dmitri standing up last. He kept his eyes on me until it was time for him to walk out the door. I sighed and looked down at my plate.

"Tatiana, is everything alright? That was very awkward." Helen asked.

"Of course everything isn't alright. Dmitri practically admitted to her about having an affair. Which I am sure she knows about the ballerina." Lady Mary giggled and took another bite of food. The ballerina?

"What ballerina?" I quietly asked and looked over at her. Lady Mary looked at me with sudden fear in her eyes.

"Oh...I assumed you knew...most women know about their husbands mistresses."

A hard lump formed in my throat. "W-Who is she? Please, tell me."

Lady Mary sighed. "Forget I said anything."

"Tell me! Tell me who this woman is, Mary!" I yelled at her. I broke into tears in front of everyone. As if this could not be more inappropriate, but I had completely broke down in front of everyone. The women in the room fell silent.

"Her name is Veronika Vinogradov. She is a ballerina. Dmitri is always seen going to a hotel with her on Friday nights."

"How many of you knew? How many of you knew my husband was having affair?" I cried out. They stayed silent. They all knew. "Y-You all knew? You all knew and you did not tell me? H-How could you?"

Irina exhaled. "Tanya-"

I stood up. "I think it is best you all get your husbands and leave. Now."

"Please, Tatiana. Just let us explain-"

"No, I am starting to feel very unwell. I truly do think it is best you all leave. I will get my butler to escort you all out."

I immediately got the butler. He escorted everyone out quickly. Dmitri was absolutely furious with me and kept demanding to know on why I threw everyone out of the palace. But I was not ready to speak to him yet. One of these days, I would be able to confront him. But today was not one of those days.