The Lives Of The Romanovs

Old Feelings

Olga

Igor had shown up unexpectedly at the Alexander Palace. Apparently Mama and Papa both knew, but wanted it to be a surprise for me. A surprise it truly was. I went inside and had to take a bath and change my clothes. I was cruelly embarrassed.

I went into a smaller dining room where we had tea. Igor was silently drinking tea. When he saw that I entered, his face lit up and he smiled at me. I smiled back and shut the door. I walked over to chair next to him and sat down.
"Well, that was embarrassing." I giggled.
"Oh, don't be embarrassed. You were just having fun."
"Well, for starters, what are you doing back in Russia? I thought you were spending a year in America."
Igor nodded and set his tea down. "I was going to, but when I heard of what was happening, I felt that I should come home. I heard I just missed your father by minutes.
"Yes, Papa has gone to Paris. It is a whole situation I can explain to you later. But I want to hear all about you. Where did you go and what did you see in America?" I took Igor's hand. He chuckled and gave a deep exhale, preparing to tell me everything. He explained how he went to New York, Chicago, and Hollywood. Igor met famous people like Mary Pickford, Charlie Chaplin, and Maud Fealy. Igor saw the Statue of Liberty and went clubbing with Americans. It seemed inappropriate, but I could not stop thinking about that night at the train station. I also couldn't stop thinking about how handsome he looked when speaking to me.

"Oh, and you will never guess who I saw while on my trip." Igor grinned.
"Who?"
"Nina Georgievna and her family. Apparently, they were taking a tour of New York."
For some reason, my heart sank a little bit. The way his face lit up when he spoke about Nina hurt a little bit.
"Nina? I haven't spoken to her in a long while. How is she doing?"
"Well, she's officially eighteen as of a few days ago. Olga, I must tell you...I think I'm going to spend more time with Nina Georgievna."
I gulped and gave a nervous laugh. "Um, don't you think she's a bit young for you? She is Nastya's age. And you both have a seven-year-age gap."
"I know," Igor shrugged. "But it is not that large of an age gap. She's a real beauty and has such a kind soul. However, I feel that I should tell you."
I needed to tell him what happened and how I felt about him before he pursued Nina Georgievna. I exhaled deeply.
"Igor, there's something I must tell you. The night-" I started. The doors opened and Mama poked her head in. She gave a weak smile at us.
"Igor, Ioann is on the telephone. He wishes to speak to you." Mama said. Igor stood up and started to walk toward Mama. He stopped suddenly and then looked at me with wide eyes.

"Oh Olga, what was it you wanted to tell me?" Igor asked. I smiled and shook my head.
"Nothing. Just that I'm very happy for you." I replied. Igor smiled wide and walked out the door, passed Mama. Mama looked at me with a sad look. I pursed my lips, trying to hold back tears. I nodded and stood up.
"He has taken an interest in Nina Georgievna. I believe they'd be happy together."
Mama gave a weak smile. "Well, this is a chance for you to look at some other men then." Mama walked over to me and put her hands on my shoulders. "You could speak to cousins David and Albert, Georgie's sons."
I let a tear fall and I shook my head. "No, I want to stay in Russia. And I want Igor, not them."
"Then you must tell him that."
"Mama, you should have seen his face when he started to speak about Nina. I cannot take away his happiness."
"But Olga, my dear, you must tell him how you feel. What if he is still in love with you?"
"He is not, Mama. I am just utterly hopeless, I suppose." I started to cry. Mama took me in her arms and hugged me as I quietly cried. I should've been happy for Igor and that he found a woman whose company he genuinely enjoyed. But I just couldn't be.

I laid in Tatiana and I's sitting room on the sofa. I threw a toy ball in the air and the caught it once it came down. Tatiana sat in the corner, knitting a blanket. Maria and Anastasia joined us in our room too. Maria was playing the piano and Anastasia was writing in her diary. Alexei was also in the room by the fire, but he was oddly quieter than usual.
"Oh, I know I must stop speaking about it. But I'm so happy I will be able to marry Dmitri in January." Tatiana laughed.
Anastasia rolled her eyes. "Yes Tatya, for the one-millionth time: we are very happy you are betrothed. We are very happy you are breaking up the OTMA."
Tatiana looked up at her and frowned. "Nastya, that's unfair. We shall always be the OTMA. I'm just an adult now."
"But the four of us were supposed to live together forever! Now Olga, Maria, and I have to become betrothed as soon as possible because Papa and Mama will expect it."
"Oh Anastasia, stop complaining! All you ever do is complain!" Maria bellowed at her. Anastasia was taken aback and went back to writing her diary.
"Goodness, the Fat Little Bow-Wow is moody today." Anastasia muttered. I knew I shouldn't have, but gave a small laugh along with Tatiana and Alexei. Maria stood up from the piano and marched out of the room.

"Mashka, it was only a joke! Come back!" I shouted. But the doors still slammed shut, and Mashka was gone. I caught the ball and sat up on the sofa.
"Perhaps we should go apologize." Alexei suggested.
"Why? It's not our fault that Maria refuses to grow a sense of humor." Anastasia mumbled. Tatiana shot an irritated look with her.
"You did make a rude joke."
"Oh, don't act all innocent! You all laughed!"
"Yes, but you were the one who made the joke. Anastasia, go apologize."
Anastasia groaned and stood up from the chair.
"This is so stupid! But I do not want to have a bad day, so I shall go apologize to her."
"Thank you." Tatiana said to her. Anastasia slumped her way all the way to the door and then out. Now that it was just Alexei, Tatiana, and I in the room; it suddenly became much quieter. Alexei rolled over on to his back and just stared up at the ceiling.

"I'm very happy Igor is back. But I miss Papa already." Alexei moaned.
I sighed. "Papa is not quite sure when he will be back. But it will be soon enough."
"I know. Oh Olenka, I miss Livadia so much. We haven't gone in years."
"It's been hard to because of the war. I believe next Summer we could go, wouldn't you like that?"
Alexei smiled widely. "Yes, very much. Livadia was so much fun. But would Tatiana still be able to come with us?"
Tatiana looked up at Alyosha and chuckled. "Of course. I would just come along with Dmitri. Why do all of you believe that the moment Dima and I marry, that I shall abandon all of you. I'll always be here, no matter what."
I just hoped that was true. Tatiana was my best friend and my sister. And when it came to watching Igor fall in love with Nina, I was going to need Tatiana more than ever.