The Lives Of The Romanovs

A Life Forever Changed

Olga

Two-days after the accident, Igor still had not woken up. I did not leave his bedside for that time and stayed by his side. I was still waiting for an update on his condition and how his injuries would effect him. There was nothing on the gunmen who attempted the assassination, but the Okhrana was still searching for them.

"Igor, my darling, it is time to wake up. You are alright now and the children will miss you, so you must wake up." I whispered and stroked his hair. Igor's head was covered in bandages. According to Doctor Anton Ivanov, there would be a large scar on the side of his head forever.

"Olga Nikolaevna." Anton Ivanov walked up to us. "How are you feeling this morning? Were you able to go to the restaurant downstairs and get a coffee and bread?"

"No, I cannot leave Igor's side for one minute. What if he wakes up and I am not here?" I stroked Igor's face. He seemed so lifeless and pale. One would think he had passed on already.

"Ma'am, may I speak to you in another room? I have to show you something regarding your husband's condition. I can assure you that I will be quick and you will be back in his room in no time."

I looked over at Igor one more time. I slowly stood up and bent over, kissing Igor's forehead. I did feel poorly about leaving him, but we needed more information on his condition. Anton Ivanov and I walked out of the private room and around the halls. Eventually, we made it to a private office with another male doctor. The man was skinny and lanky with small spectacles.

"Olga Nikolaevna, this is Doctor Chernov. He is a Neurologist and has some information about Prince Igor Konstantinovich's condition. Please, have a seat." The three of us then took a seat. I sat across from both of them. Doctor Chernov slid a large photo of an x-ray over to me.

"This is what a normal x-ray of the humans spine looks. Notice how all the fragments and pieces are together vertically?" Doctor Chernov pointed. I remained silent and nodded at him. That is when he slid another photo of an x-ray over to me. "This is your husband's spine."

The second photo's spine was crooked and bone fragments seemed to be out of the place. I had not been a nurse since 1916. After an incident where I had a nervous breakdown and smashed a window with an umbrella, I was immediately moved out. I was moved down to office work. During the war, I was a completely different person. I choose to forget about the woman I once was. But I did not know how modern medicine worked anymore and needed to be enlightened on it.

"What does this mean, Doctor Chernov? What is the damage?" I gulped. Doctor Chernov and Anton Ivanov exchanged look with each other. Doctor Chernov deeply exhaled and cleared his throat. He looked me in the eyes with a look of sympathy.

"Ma'am, your husband has paraplegia. However, I believe he may be able to recover-"

"Paraplegia? My husband is paralyzed?"

"I am afraid so. But in his condition, I believe that with the right physical therapy he may recover."

My chest started to feel heavy. "How long? How long will the recovery be?"

Doctor Chernov stayed silent for a moment. "Maybe about two-years with physical therapy. But...Prince Igor Konstantinovich's condition will never be the same. He may heal in time, but he will never be able to run or dance again. He will walk with a limp for the rest of his life and need a cane or walker."

"No! No he will not!" I slammed my fist on the table. "He was just running around in the snow with our boys one-week ago! He-He...oh God." I broke into tears and buried my face into my hands. I could not imagine what this would do to Igor. All of the things he once loved, he would not be able to do anymore. Igor and I would never be able to dance again, take long walks through the woods, and chase the children around the yard. Our lives were never going to be the same.

"I understand this is difficult-"

"How could you?! My husband is paralyzed! Not only is he physically different, but the personality Igor once had will be gone. I saw it during the war. How men with smiles and jokes came back as angry and depressed men. After all Igor suffered during the war...this?"

"You are right, ma'am. I do not understand what it is like. But I, too, saw what happened to those men during the war. My own son took his life because of we saw in those trenches. So I understand what it is like to watch someone lose themselves." Doctor Chernov nodded. I instantly felt guilt for getting angry with him. I had simply been so angry with the situation that I took it out on him. His poor son...I could not imagine.

The three of us left the room quietly. I made sure to apologize and thank Doctor Chernov. Anton Ivanov and I walked back to Igor's room, where he still laid quiet and still. His eyes were closed and face was so pale. I quietly took my place in the seat next to the bed. I set my hand on top of Igor's. Suddenly, Igor's pinkie finger moved an inch. I gasped and immediately stood up.

"Anton Ivanov, his finger just moved!" I put my hand over my mouth. Anton Ivanov walked over to take a look at him. Igor's eyes slowly fluttered open with his eyebrows deeply furrowed. I giggled and came over to stroke his cheek. "Igor, my love. Hello."

"Olga." Igor muttered. It seemed like he wanted to say more, but could not find the words to do so. He seemed so exhausted and confused.

"Do not stress, just relax. You need to relax."

"Legs." Igor whispered again. My smiled faded with my chest becoming heavy next. Anton Ivanov deeply exhaled and came over to Igor. He took his finger and started moving it side-to-side, having him follow it.

"What is your name?" Anton asked.

"Igor."

"How old are you?"

"Thirty-five."

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Anton Ivanov put three-fingers up.

"Three."

"Good. Igor Konstantinovich, I am not sure how to tell you this. But you are a paraplegic. You were shot in the back that damaged your spine. However, you may heal in time with physical therapy-"

Igor shook his head. "No, I'm not. I am not paralyzed." Igor then tried to move his body but could not. "Olga...why can't I feel my legs?"

I began to cry. "My love, you were in an accident. You are paralyzed from the waist down-"

"No! No I am not!" Igor screamed loudly. "Get out! Get the hell out! Including you, Olga!"

"Igor-" I sobbed harder. Anton Ivanov put his hand on my back and guided me out of the room. He shut the door behind us. I could not help but keep sobbing. Anton Ivanov put his hand on my shoulder.

"I am so sorry, Olga Nikolaevna. It can be very difficult for someone to process such information. Give Prince Igor Konstantinovich sometime alone and then come back later. Alright? Why don't you go home now to your children? I am sure they miss me."

"My husband needs me. I will wait outside this door until he is ready to speak to me." I sat down in the small wooden chair outside the door. Anton Ivanov sighed, walking away from me. I did not care how long it took. I would wait forever if that is what it took.