Her Pacifier: Secrets From The Past

Chapter 38

Passion's P.O.V

"Boys - you fucking, bloody liars," I accuse and slam the door behind me so hard Jules flinches in his seat.

This boy will be the end of me. I swear it.

If he wants to come after me, he will. I won't stay back with him or drive back to school or to Charles. Who the hell does he think he is?

My boss?

My father?

Sweet Mother Keeper Of Time?

Bullshit!

If he wants me truly and fully, he will follow me to the corners of my ship and eventually walk down the plank to my crimson sea.

He isn't one to seat back and watch the person his obsessed with cause absolute chaos without him being present to avoid it from prevailing. Jules thinks his some type of superhero, my knight in shining armour, prepared to save humanity from my 'danger'.

Puh-lease.

Does he have no knowledge?

I cause danger wherever I go; chaos, destruction, execution and confusion. I am the word danger. I am DANGEROUS.

Sadly, Jules won't seat back and let my torture quickly end him, he'd rather succumb to my power, slowly because he's a sucker for love.

Do we share that? Love?

And what exactly are my views on love?

We finger fuck one minute in each other's mouths. Laugh, communicate, joke then fight and cuss each other out the next. If it's not his stubbornness or his persistent wit, it's my smart mouth or my indecent demeanor that separates us further and farer from our borderline. There's always a borderline, always a line that everyone is forbidden to cross. The line whereby my feelings or thoughts remain my own and his actions and views remain his own. The invisible line whereby Jules showcases his emotions like the blazing sun on his side and I lock mine in a chest like a pirate's stolen treasure on mine. I have several correct views on love and just like the mistress of evil put it, it doesn't always end well. 

There was a remorseful time in my life.
Where dark were the days I fell utterly and unconditionally in love with the boys I thought I had a heart for, and cold were the nights they fucked with that same heart back.

I fell for them, they let me fall.
Notice the difference.

They made me fall, they let me fall.
Spot the drastic similarity.

I rose from the dirt and they fucked with it.
Identify the change.

Pretty baby, I'm a survivor in the war of love and a painter in the art of agape. The government in charge of the deception and deceit that follows in its untruthful paths, but most of all I am the ability to paint his story into a plot of mystical gores.

I am able to paint Jules' death just as much as he's in control of my living but how will he have the complete control after I've ended him?

Exactly. He won't. Not if we haven't bonded.

Call me a sadist or an absurd psycho but I can't help but giggle at the thought of him falling to his knees for my mercy.
I irrevocably adore it.

This is my way of love, the other side of my way of love. The only dark and Lucifer side that never had a brighter one - the brightness in me that never existed.

Even though Jules is my destiny partner, my antidote, the ice to my flame, the answer to my mother's prayers and my personal paracetamol. I have warned him repeatedly and continuously to stay away from me not because I could end him and he, me but because he won't see what's coming next.
His poor future Charles informed me about - the one he wouldn't meet. All because of his stupid heart falling and falling for the befallen who lost hers back in time until he eventually falls too.