Her Pacifier: Secrets From The Past

Chapter 19

"This pool reminds me so much of her," he continues reminiscing but I'm blinded by shock.

"What?" I manage.
My hand retrieves from my stomach to my chest and you'd swear the act makes me look like I'm about to have a heart attack. So I did see them for real in the spirit realm, where my heart is technically a living ghost town? I saw the present...happening 'On The Other Side' in the real world? Oh my god...
So which means Passion is a...oh my god!

I shouldn't have reacted that way aloud because Jade is a little confused, his quietness is proof. I quickly divert my shock to a reaction I was supposed to make.
"Oh...I mean what day was it when you...uh visited her?"
"Pia?" He asks, lost, "It was Sunday."
"No. I mean Mom. I don't like it when you say you've visited her grave, just say you visited her. We don't need a reminder that she's dead."

"I'm sorry. I forgot about that," he hoarsely murmurs through the other line and I sigh. "Jules you know even if we say 'visit her' minus the word grave, it won't bring her back."

His words make my heart tear apart and my eyes redden. I'm fighting back tears and they're flood on my doorstep, awaiting the door to swing open. But I won't welcome them in.

"I know just don't say it," I whisper my plea and blink my tears away. "Please."
"Right." He clears his throat and continues with his report. "I visited Pia on Sunday and we visited mom the day after. Jeremih was too busy with basketball, girls or whatever he always claims to be busy with to come along. And dad had an appointment with Ian Sponsor."
They visited Mom on Monday? Oh my god!!

I'm not surprised. They barely visit Mom that Jade and I have now gotten used to it.
Wait, they visited Mom on Monday?

Oh my god Passion...
My eyebrows furrow at the professional name mentioned.

"Ian Sponsor? Mom's lawyer?"
"Yeah. Dad has been meeting up with him a lot lately. Probably discussing mom's insurance."
"Oh," I say. I'm not interested.

A flashback hits me as I think back to the day Passion took me to that ghost town. It was on a Monday afternoon, after school. The day after Jade visited Pia. Mom's granite tombstone was cracked and in bad condition but it was the only gra- tombstone with bright green grass and healthy, strong flowers.

"Did you leave flowers for her?" I ask my brother already knowing his answer. I hear another splash of water before he confirms my assumption. "Yeah, we only leave her favorites. Vygies and white lilies. 'White for peace', she would say."
I can tell he's smiling in his soft tone. Peace was my mother, she was peaceful. A peaceful beautiful angel.
"The tombstone isn't in bad shape, is it?"
I can't help but ask this question that has been haunting me for two days.
"No it isn't. Why?"
"I was just wondering," I half lie.

I was just wondering why it looked cracked.

When my eyes locked on the cracks and the gap below the words 'mother' I wish I made one of my exes pregnant just so she could be a grandmother. But the only girls that flash through my mind are Sarah and Passion. One, because Sarah was my first and two, because Passion could be my last.
Mom always rambled about shopping baby clothes for our hypothetical babies and chasing little feet around her husband's mansion.
If only we knew how much time she had left in this world.
"We should have given her grandkids," Jade suddenly says and I laugh.
"I'm actually thinking about that now," I chuckle.
He laughs too. "But we are too young and if one of us fucked around and were expecting a baby who would take care of it? I wouldn't have gotten my soccer scholarship with a crying baby to look after and a teenage girl to cater to. My life would be a total fuck up."
I smile. "She would, she was the best mom and was great with kids." I know she would.